ApeBlog

Concert Review: A Decade of Difference

2011-10-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

The Clinton Foundation celebrated "A Decade of Difference" with a huge fundraising concert at the Hollywood Bowl (Oct 15, 2011). Celebrities still love Bill Clinton, and they were abundant on the stage to pay tribute to him on his 65th Birthday. Hilary and Chelsea were seated with him.

The show kicked off with a surprise set from Stevie Wonder! Good thing we were on time. Stevie and his band played "Overjoyed", "Superstitious", and "Signed, Sealed and Delivered." It was pretty amazing.

Celebrity presenters who introduced bands or clips about the foundation included Laura Ling (the journalist who was once jailed in North Korea), Jason Segal, Maria Bello, Ellen DeGeneres, Colin Farrell, and Ashton Kutcher.

Kenny Chesney played a few acoustic country tunes. Clinton later thanked him for making him not be the only person on stage that night with a Southern accent.

K'Nann was next up. I hadn't heard of him, but I found him really likable. He got the crowd going with a singalong for "Wavin' Flag" and Bono joined him on stage for a song. He grew up in Somalia and spoke about surviving the war there.

Then came Juanes, who I also didn't know anything about, but I dug his virtuoso guitar playing and rockin' tunes. Hailing from Colombia, he added to the global atmosphere.

The crowd got fired up for Usher. He opened with the Beatles' classic "With a Little Help from my Friends." He had his full band and back-up dancers. Everyone was on their feet for "Yeah" and "Caught Up." Even Hilary was gettin' down.

Many girls in strange outfits in the audience got on their feet to greet Lady Gaga. She and her piano were perched atop a strange treehouse-like structure. The atmosphere was electric as she played a slow version of "Born This Way" and then segued into the upbeat usual version, calling on a fleet of dancers and musicians.

She expressed sadness about Clarence Clemmons' death as she started to sing the song he played on - "The Edge of Glory" - and she suggested Bill come up on stage and play sax. I think we were all secretly hoping he would do that during some point in the evening, but no such luck.

Gaga was warm and entertaining and, of course, provocative. Fully blond, she said she was going to have a Marilyn moment, and I fully expected her to sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President." Thankfully, she refrained. She did mention that we should all have "A Bill Romance" and then substituted that phrase into "Bad Romance." She flirted with both Bill and Hilary.

All out of breath from dancing, she panted through her own American Dream story, talking about being in a tiny apartment four years ago and dreaming that just one person would believe in her. I'm sure it sounds hokey, but after watching Gaga in the interview she gave at Google, I do think she's being genuine. I was impressed with her piano playing and singing, too. She whipped the crowd into a frenzy and President Clinton later quipped he thought Gaga might give him a heart attack.

After an intermission, they showed an amusing celeb-studded film about celebrities brainstorming for ideas for the foundation. Ben Stiller, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Kristin Wiig, Ted Danson, Mary Steenbergen and Kevin Spacey were in the film.

Chelsea came out and gave a short tribute stating that her parents were her heroes, and she introduced President Clinton who talked a little about the foundation and thanked everyone who appeared that evening. I did cringe a bit when he jokingly referred to Laura Ling as "a girl I once picked up in North Korea." Some folks in the crowd began a chant of "Four More Years" while Clinton was speaking.

The show concluded with an acoustic set from Bono and The Edge. They kicked things off with "Desire" and then "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Bono described them as one half of the band U2, and there was some amusing fumbling as The Edge had trouble finding the drum track for "A Man and A Woman" on his Mac. Before launching into "Sunday Bloody Sunday," they talked about how President Clinton had united Ireland and his other contributions toward greater world peace. They brought out a string section. Bono said rock n' roll was such a male-oriented universe, it was nice to occasionally hire a string section because string sections often include girls. They played "Staring at the Sun", "One" (with a snippet of "Happy Birthday") and closed with "Miss Sarajevo" in which Bono did an admirable job with Pavarotti's opera solo.

It was a magical evening at the Bowl!

Watch the concert on Yahoo!

House of Davids Estate Sale

2011-10-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

The King of Hancock Park is selling his castle and all its contents. After driving by this house for years, I couldn't resist the chance to go inside and maybe get a souvenir.

For those not familiar with this story, Norwood Young, a former Star Search winner and R&B recording artist has a home called Youngwood Court, aka "The House of Davids" due to the fact he has placed 17 statues of David on columns in front of the house. The house has caused much consternation among the quiet, wealthy neighbors over the years. They disliked the accoutrements, the drive-by tourists, and the parties. Now Young is looking for a fresh start after publishing his autobiography last year that describes a lot of the pain that led to all the partying, plastic surgery, and excess.

The estate sale is running 2 weekends. I was there for opening day on Oct 15. I had read it would start at 9am and imagined people would be there even earlier, but I slept in and got there around 11:30am. There was a small line, and I realized that the sale hadn't begun. Some girls in hot pink outfits were setting up a champagne bar in the driveway. The gal in line behind me had an email that said the estate sale would be kicking off with a champagne and massage reception. 'Cuz that's how Norwood rolls.

I didn't realize it at the time, not being aware of what he looked like, but Norwood himself came out to tell the line they would be opening a few minutes late. And then Sharon Yost who was running the estate sale came out and explained we would be entering through a side gate to the backyard and would be expected to leave that way too. We were told to not partake of the champagne or free massages as those were for a separate event going on. Hmmph.

I was in the first group of 25 people to be let inside. Once in the backyard, I noticed the faded painting of Norwood on the bottom of the pool. Lots of statues were for sale, as well as a large variety of Christmas decorations. They were even selling picnic plastic cutlery and containers of margaritas salt. Yes, everything must go at estate sales, but it's a little strange when the person isn't dead.

Inside the house, I checked out the home theater, adorned with Norwood-centric artwork, including a strange 3D portrait of him as a lion that kind of resembled Ron Perlman in Beauty and the Beast. Lots of glassware was for sale on the bar. I noticed what would become my only purchase - Norwood glasses - adorned with a logo and images of David. A good souvenir for $10 each, and a fine addition to my wet bar!

Next up, there was the dining room. The lucite cocktail rounds are suspended from the ceiling, with track lighting on the floor shining up, and lucite dining chairs. There's an 8' tall sequined Michael Jackson glove that can be yours for $5000. The entrance hall had a white grand piano with a Norwood puppet on top of it, and 2 huge "Alice in Wonderland" chairs. They were $500 each. There were 2 bedrooms on the first floor with furnishing for sale. I don't know how to really describe the house's design aesthetic - "Nagel meets Elvis" maybe?

At first, we weren't allowed access to the upstairs Master Suite because Norwood was in there. Then he came down and greeted some of the guests and the reality TV crew. We could then take off our shoes and ascend the dirty white carpeted stairs to the master suite. It had a large sleigh bed and a nice balcony overlooking the pool.

Back downstairs, I watched Norwood's manager show off Norwood's bejeweled pimp cup to the reality TV crew, stating that Norwood would drink his tea from it. I took my glasses to the cash register and overheard someone asking the cost of the David statues. The clerk said she thought they were $1000 each, but the price was probably negotiable.

The price of the house is probably negotiable, too. Originally, it was listed at $2.4 million but now it's listed at $1.795 million. It's hard for me to imagine who will buy it. I'm not sure it's a tear down, but it would need a gut overhaul if purchased by anyone who didn't like marble floors and soiled white carpet. It's allegedly 7 bedrooms and 4800 sq ft on a third of an acre. Some rooms were closed off, but it didn't seem that big.

Next weekend, expect to see Norwood's clothes and kitchen stuff for sale. We were told they didn't have time to get everything sorted before this weekend. It's definitely worth the trip, and I bet there will still be a few Davids left for purchase.

While Norwood seemed upbeat, there was a strange, dark vibe in the house. I felt my previous celeb garage sale experience at Pam Anderson's sale was more fun. Maybe Pam's shabby chic furntiure is just easier on the eyes than a giant Michael Jackson glove?

You can see all my pics here.

See the estate sale info, with lots more pics.

Concert Review: Tony Hadley / Men Without Hats

2011-08-26T22:12:00.001-07:00

Tony Hadley /Men Without Hats

Fremont Street Experience, Las Vegas, Nevada

August 20, 2011

Ahh, Fremont Street. It's not just a street; it's an experience. Deep fried twinkies! Daiquiris in footballs! A zipline! It's kind of like Orange County Fair meets Atlantic City meets the Star Wars cantina. But for one special night in August - Tony Hadley really classed up the joint!

Nina Blackwood is hosting a series of 80s concerts on Fremont Street this Summer. While the list had many awesome bands like ABC and Howard Jones, I picked Tony Hadley because I'd never seen him before. Of course, if I lived in Vegas I'd be there every weekend. Nina pulled up to host the show in a DeLorean. Over our heads, we noticed a large moon being circled by an MTV-esque moon man and Elliott and E.T. on a bike. T-shirts with slogans like "Fremont Say Relax" were being sold. This all put me in a great nostalgic mood.

Men Without Hats opened the show. Singer Ivan Doroschuk is the only remaining piece of the original band, but his voice was really all that mattered. He looked a bit like Bret Michaels in a black cowboy hat and leather pants. I got a bit bored during their set, since I only knew their two big hits, which they did dutifully play: "Pop Goes the World" and "Safety Dance."

During songs I didn't know, I got distracted by a strange love triangle - semi-drunk guy and girlfriend and really drunk and/or high man who could barely stand but wanted to dance with the girlfriend. The boyfriend seemed to alternate between yelling at the drunk guy and helping him stand up. I eventually decided they must all be roommates at the same crackhouse. I got more intrigued watching a group of high school kids near us who were screaming the whole hour for "Safety Dance" and when they finally got it, they actually formed a conga line and did the safety dance. You can see the kids dancing in this video - and you can see Elliot and E.T. riding around the moon above the stage - but you'll have to forgive the horrible audio courtesy of my iPhone. I promise it sounded a lot better in person.

Many people wandered off after Men Without Hats and a smaller but enthusiastic crowd greeted Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet. I got reintroduced to Tony recently watching one of the recent Glastonbury concerts on Palladia and was really impressed with his voice and song choices. He reminds me a bit of Tom Jones, in that he picks interesting and timely cover songs, puts his own spin on them and is a bit loungey. And he still belts his own classics with gusto.

Tony surprised the crowd with a cover of "Somebody Told Me" by the hometown boys The Killers. He went back in time with "It's a New Day" and back to the future with "Learn to Fly" by Foo Fighters. He got in the Vegas spirit with covers of "That's Life" and "Suspicious Minds." He also covered Duran Duran's "Rio" and U2's "With or Without You" which really brought me back to Live Aid, since all those bands were there. Spandau Ballet really had awesome outfits at Live Aid. The sax player looks like he's a Laker fan. (Check out my reflections on watching Live Aid as a kid vs watching it 20 years later.)

Tony played the big Spandau Ballet hits like "Only When You Leave," "Gold," and "True." The crowd sang along. He also delivered an emotional version of "Through the Barricades", explaining to the US crowd that the song was about the troubles in Ireland. He chatted a bit during the set and was utterly charming.

Poor Tony was sweating up a storm, wearing a suit in the 98 degree Vegas heat. But he never even took his jacket off. That's just how debonair he is! The Rat Pack would approve. He was sipping some whiskey on stage, so maybe that took the edge off. He seemed happy to be in Vegas and said he'd never played there. In fact, this is his first US tour since 1986! He played for about 90 minutes, which was more than I expected from a free concert. His band sounded great and also features drummer John Keeble who was also in Spandau Ballet. I had a totally awesome time. That much is indeed true.

American Idol: Top 13 Address Their Icons

2011-03-10T12:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I wasn't planning to watch Idol this year. The last few seasons had been so plodding. I wouldn't have kept watching them if I hadn't been wagering on it (and last year I won the pool!). And without Simon, I really felt the show would fail. But I have to admit, I've kind of enjoyed the judges so far, even if they don't really have very distinctive viewpoints or specific critiques. They have good chemistry. And the crop of talent this year is actually pretty impressive. Here's my thoughts on last night's show.

Lauren Alaina - "Any Man of Mine"

Young Lauren idolizes Shania Twain. She's got a booming voice, and she's likable. This song didn't really let her stretch but the performance was solid.

Casey Abrams - "With a Little Help From My Friends"

Casey let Joe Cocker possess him, and the results were very entertaining. This kid definitely doesn't look like an Idol, but I think he's the Taylor Hicks oddball of the season and he could go the distance. He's goofy and soulful, but he's also a damn good singer. Plus he brought the stand-up bass onto Idol - that was a first.

Ashthon Jones - "When You Tell Me That You Love Me"

Ashthon's very pretty and capable. She's got awesome hair, like her idol Diana Ross. I can't say she really stands out for me at this point. Barry Gordy came to see her. I wonder what he thought. The spelling of her name is hard for me to get over. It reminds me of when people named Thomas shorten their name and spell it "Thom".

Paul McDonald - "Come Pick Me Up"

This cat is part folky, part cheesy. He's hilarious to watch with his epileptic dance moves (again, I felt the presence of Taylor Hicks). His voice is unique. I can't say I love it, but it's something different. He's like Bob Dylan meets Barry Manilow. He sang a Ryan Adams song and J Lo admitted she didn't know who Ryan Adams was. His oddball qualities and alternative song choice may hurt him.

Pia Toscano - "All By Myself"

Pia went for the high degree of difficulty by tackling Celine, and she pulled it off really well. Her dress would have looked better without the strange drape in the back - seemed like a tail, like an unfinished Project Runway outfit. The girl really can belt it out. She'll be around for a while.

James Durbin - "Maybe I'm Amazed"

Yay for James! Last week he brought Judas Priest to Idol, which I thought was awesome. And now he tackled my favorite Paul McCartney song. James does evoke Adam Lambert but he's got his own style too - more rock, less theatrics. I love to see a little glam rock make a comeback. James has the touching story too - with his Asberger's and Tourette's issues, and young son. I'm rooting for him.

Haley Reinhart - "Blue"

I thought Haley's performance of the Leann Rimes song was too old-fashioned and kinda boring. Technically, it was fine, but her performances have left me cold so far.

Jacob Lusk - "I Believe I Can Fly"

I think Idol wants this kid to win, letting him come out with a full-on gospel choir. He's definitely talented, but I feel he oversings every time and tends to pick the cheesiest anthems like "God Bless the Child" and now this R. Kelly tune. And if you're wondering what spa Jacob is concierge at, it's Burke Williams since he mentioned the Hunter's Retreat in his spa spiel. What does a spa concierge do anyway? Get you theater tickets while you're being wrapped up in leaves and exfoliated?

Thia McGia - "Smile"

Even if Thia doesn't know who Charlie Chaplin is, she managed to pull of a good performance of this song (the Michael Jackson version). She's cute and young but not radiating a ton of personality yet. Still, she could be this year's Jasmine Trias and make it pretty far.

Stefano Langone - "Lately"

Stefano's took on a tough Stevie Wonder song and did OK with it. I thought the performance was somewhat cruise ship-ish, but the judges slobbered all over him. J Lo particularly seems to have a crush.

Karen Rodriguez - "I Could Fall in Love"

Karen brought a Selena tune to Idol, but she didn't sing with much verve. Her performance was so muted that I wondered if she might be ill (the producer made a comment about her needing to rest her voice before the show). She didnt seem to try for the big notes as she has in the past. I was disappointed, as I've been a fan so far, but I think she could be in danger.

Scotty McCreery - "The River"

Scotty is a bit of a one-trick pony, but it's hard not to like him when you hear that big Randy Travis voice coming out of the little kid. Here he tried a challenging Garth Brooks song and performed it really well. He's going to be around for a while.

Naima Adedapo - "Umbrella"

Naima is very pretty and unique. She definitely brings something new to Idol, and I was glad she got chosen to be a wild card. She didn't seem totally comfortable with this song, but her dance moves were fun and her reggae twist made it her own. I like her attitude.

Predictions

Bottom 3 - Karen, Paul, Haley

Going home - Haley

Rocky Horror 35th Anniversary Show

2010-10-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

Thursday's all-star tribute to The Rocky Horror Picture Show was a night out that I am going to remember for a long, long time. It was definitely one of those "only in LA" events, and it was all for a great cause - The Painted Turtle, a camp for special needs kids.

Lou Adler, who produced the movie, put the evening together, and called in some favors from many of his famous friends to put together an all-star cast that accompanied the shadow cast. What made this a must-see for me was the inclusion of Jack Nicholson, who shared the narrator role with Danny DeVito. To my knowledge, Jack hasn't performed on stage since his high school plays, so this was really special to see. Jack and Lou have sat next to each other at Laker games for over 30 years, so I imagine that friendship plus the good cause prompted Jack to get involved.

The event took place at The Wiltern. Dave and I were running a bit late so didn't have any time before the show to mingle and check out everyone's great costumes. We came dressed as Time Warp party guests. Upon arrival, we got t-shirts and quickly made our way to the balcony where the show was about to begin.

Adler and director Kenny Ortega (best known for his work with Michael Jackson, including This Is It) did a terrific job of staging the show in a way that paid appropriate homage to the movie and the cult experience of the movie. The movie played on a big screen, and an all-star shadow cast reenacted it on stage (the all-star cast appears on the new blu-ray and is comprised of the best shadow cast members from around the world). Then they'd pause the movie to have the celebrities come out and actually speak the lines or sing the songs live, sometimes on their own and sometimes accompanied by the shadow cast.

Matthew Morrison and Lea Michelle kicked things off as Brad and Janet, fresh from the Rocky Horror episode of Glee. Nicole Scherzinger of The Pussycat Dolls was a sexy usher. Then there was a huge ovation for Jack Nicholson, who came onstage and settled into an easy chair for the opening narration. Listening to Jack read again reminded me of listening to my old audio cassette of him narrating The Elephant's Child - if you can find this, it's really cool, with Bobby McFerrin doing the music. They won a Grammy for it. Personally, I could listen to Jack read the phone book.

The second narrator was Danny DeVito, who instructed us on how to dance the Time Warp. Evan Rachel Wood played Magenta and Lucas Grabeel (High School Musical) was Riff Raff. Melora Hardin was Columbia. Most of the audience got up and tried to do the dance, although it wasn't easy being packed into theater seats.

Julian McMahon (Nip / Tuck) made a great Frank N. Furter. He really got into it and seemed to be totally comfortable in the costume. He wasn't dreaming it; he was being it. My only regret about the evening was that our seats were in the balcony. I wish I hadnt cheaped out and had sat down closer. It was hard to tell who the celebs were from our vantage point, and we weren't able to pick up a program until after the show. We totally missed Ricki Lake, and only noticed her during the curtain call (and I'm not sure who she played).

Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost) knocked it out of the park as Eddie. He can really belt. And George Lopez was daring as Dr. Scott, sporting the fishnets. There were some audio issues during his scenes and part of his dialogue was lost.

Jack and Danny returned to the stage to do the final narration together, to another big ovation.

Lou Adler brought everyone out for a curtain call and talked a little about The Painted Turtle. He then surprised us by calling up a couple of notable folks from the audience: Barry Bostwick and Tim Curry. The theater went nuts for Tim and the shadow cast on stage was truly starstruck. Then everybody did the Time Warp one more time, although Tim and Jack slinked off stage.

There was a costume ball afterwards, catered by Wolfgang Puck. Admission was $500, so we passed on that. We had a terrific time. I hadn't seen the movie in a few years, and it's always good to revisit it. I have been feeling a bit down lately about the lack of creative output in my life, and the movie reminded me that I just need to get off my butt and do it. Don't dream it; be it. I've been singing that everyday since the show.

Thanks to Lou Adler for putting together such a spectacular event!

Click here for the zap2it.com photo gallery from the show.

Hole is Reborn

2010-04-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

I approached the Henry Fonda Theater on Friday with some trepidation. The return of Hole seemed likely to be a trainwreck. I was just hoping it would be an entertaining one, like the one in The Fugitive, as opposed to one where I'd have to avert my eyes.

I caught the last couple songs of the opening act, Little Fish. The singer seemed like she had been cut out of the Courtney Love mold, except British. She had a pretty enthralling barbaric yawp.

Courtney emerged after an operatic overture, right on time, surprisingly. She was backed by the all-new Hole. There was also a guitarist on the side of the stage covering for the notes she missed or when she was too overwhelmed to strum. She introduced the rest of the band but told us he wasn't really there.

The first song was "Pretty on the Inside" which morphed into "Sympathy for the Devil" - quite a ballsy start. The show was less than an hour, which is pretty typical for Hole, but it was packed with classic material and songs from the new album Nobody's Daughter, due out on Tuesday.

At one point, a fan asked for "Gold Dust Woman" and she said they could play it. After some guitar changing, they took on the challenge of recreating the cover tune, and it was awesome. I remembered that it was Hole's version of that tune that made me want to start listening to Fleetwood Mac and now the Rumours CD never leaves my car's CD changer.

Hearing "Violet", "Miss World", and "Doll Parts" again brought up a lot of memories. I practically wore out my Live Through This CD in 1994-96. The first time I went to a concert by myself was due to a compulsion to not miss the show when Hole came to town, so I ventured to a small club in St. Louis - Mississippi Nights - by myself. I remember seeing Courtney walk in with Frances Bean in her arms. Both mother and daughter were wearing ratty fur coats. This was less than a year after Kurt's suicide. The set was raw and fierce, and Courtney slammed St. Louis with the comment: "I can see why T.S. Eliot left."

She revisited "Malibu" and "Celebrity Skin" off the Celebrity Skin album, and I recalled seeing her play at a college in Connecticut in 1998 in support of that album. She was transformed into a smoother, prettier Hollywood wannabe. I didn't like that Courtney as much, although the music was still good.

The current Courtney seems a mix of the two. She looks like she's had quite a bit of work done. Her hair started out as a almost too-perfect bob that made me think of Anjelica Huston's sleek do, but as the show progressed it got mussed and tucked haphazardly behind her ears and she looked like the old Courtney. She joked that the gown she was wearing had originally been intended to be worn to an Oscars show. It was a beautiful gray dress, but she wore a too-small black bra under it and was busting out all over - still a juxtaposition of the glamorous and the trashy.

I have to say I liked some of the new songs. "Skinny Little Bitch" recalled the catty Riot Grrl early Hole songs, while "Pacific Coast Highway" is more of a melodic pop song like "Malibu" although with lyrics like "I'm driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with your gun in my hand" it's not exactly pop. Courtney brought out Linda Perry, who wrote some of the new material, to play keyboard on one of the new songs. The new album promises to include a lot of meditation on Kurt's death and her various struggles with family, daughter, and substances.

I had a great time at the show. It was fun to relive all the old songs with a crowd of rabid fans shouting out the lyrics. There was even some crowd surfing! It definitely felt like a return to the 90s. I'll pick up the new album. I'm not sure how this comeback will go. I can't see her getting through a whole tour, as it seems like it was taking all her energy to complete this 50-minute set. There didn't seem to be much chemistry between Courtney and the new band, and I definitely missed Eric and Melissa. But, hey, good for Courtney for giving it another go.

After ending with an acoustic version of "Northern Star," Courtney commented, "That wasn't so terrible, was it?" No, Courtney, not terrible, but not awesome either.

My review of Hole's 1998 concert

My Courtney Love Choose Your Own Adventure, written in 2000

American Idol - Top Twelve do the Rolling Stones

2010-03-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

Rolling Stones night. I was hoping we'd get to see Keith Richards mentor the kids on how to fall out of a palm tree like a rock star, but no such luck.

Michael Lynche - "Miss You"

Big Mike always does it big. Good performance, a bit hokey and theme-park-ish at times.

Didi Benami - "Play with Fire"

We learn that Didi's mom gets too nervous so she can't come to the show to watch Didi sing. If I was Didi, this would really piss me off, but she seems nonplussed. This was a strong performance. Didi came off as confident, not ditzy or fluffy. But it wasn't all that memorable.

Casey James - "It's All Over Now"

Casey brings a bluesy, country vibe. Good guitar work. Simon might be right that's his performance isn't all that special, but it's good enough and mixed with his sex appeal, he's surely safe.

Lacey Brown - "Ruby Tuesday"

It was an interesting arrangement and a quirky performance. I thought it was one of her best, however I don't think it's good enough to keep her safe. It could be Goodbye Lacey Wednesday.

Andrew Garcia - "Gimme Shelter"

This was one odd parental interview. His ex-gang member dad breaks down crying and talks about his son while his mother just stares at the camera stone-faced and doesn't say a word. I imagine growing up in the Garcia family wasn't a million laughs. Andrew frustrates me. I think he's really talented, but his performances continue to suck. He didn't seem to get the emotion, desperation, terror of this tune at all.

Katie Stevens - "Wild Horses"

Katie has a nice voice, but I'm always bored when she sings. It reminds me of how I felt during the Diana DiGarmo year. Blah. She doesn't seem to connect with the emotion of the song.

Tim Urban - "Under My Thumb"

Tim puts a bizarre reggae spin on this one, leaving the judges baffled while lovestruck tweens hit speed-dial and wait for the Bop! magazine pin-ups to appear. I'm pretty sure "The Sanjaya Factor" will keep Tim around for a few weeks - he's a dreamboat.

Siobhan Magnus - "Paint It Black"

Thank God for Siobhan, keeping me awake. She pulls out another weird and wonderful performance, using the Adam Lambert playbook. I did think her look was way overstyled. Nerdia says perms are coming back - say it isn't so!

Lee Dewyze - "Beast of Burden"

I think Lee has a little Springsteen in him. I love the gravel in his voice. He definitely needs some Jagger swagger though. He often has a deer in the headlights look about him, and the judges told him to work on his confidence. But I'm rooting for him.

Paige Miles - "Honkytonk Woman"

Paige belted this one out with panache. We learned after the performance that she had been struggling with laryngitis, but I couldn't tell at all. Interestingly, she seemed like she could pull off a country twang. She could be vulnerable, but the judges mentioned the illness enough that it should earn her sympathy votes.

Aaron Kelly - "Angie"

Once again, I thought the song was a bit old for him, but I give him points for connecting emotionally with the material. It wasn't cheesy, and it easily could have been. His relationship with his mom seems sweet, too.

Crystal Bowersox - "You Can't Always Get What You Want"

The producers clearly love Crystal, letting her sing last. She delivers another strong performance. Great song choice, totally watchable. She avoided being too sassy with Simon when he accused her of thinking she had the competition in the bag. At this point, it does seem to be between Crystal and Siobahn, but a lot can happen. Crystal's dad's emotional interview will help her too.

Evicted

Lacey Brown

The judges didn't use their save for Lacey. In the tradition of punky haired Idol finalists, she fell short of Amy Adams, Alison Iraheta and Nikki McKibben. In the battle of quirky females, both Lacey and Lilly Scott have fallen, yet Siobhan remains strong. I think it's because Siobhan has serious pipes whereas the other two are really just Lilith Fair side stage caliber singers.

American Idol: Top Eight Girls

2010-03-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

Katie Stevens - "Breakaway"

Katie is the type of contestant that Simon loves: teen, cute, solid voice, bland and easily molded. Unfortunately, her song choice was lame and only showed us that she's no Kelly Clarkson. I think she will be safe though, because she's so likable.

Siobhan Magnus - "House of the Rising Sun"

Wow, I thought this was really cool. I loved the acapella opening and found it to be really smooth and stirring. She felt the emotion of the song throughout the performance. This was a gutsy song choice, and she pulled it off. She's like a nicer Sinead O'Conner. I was surprised Simon was critical of the performance, and I hope that critique - coupled with her quirkiness - won't hurt her chances to advance. Clips of her dad in the audience being all intense brought back memories of Mr. Archuletta.

Lacey Brown - "The Story"

Lacey's makeup was so thick tonight that visions of Tammy Faye came to mind. And she's a pretty girl - she doesn't need to apply the makeup with a trowel. She also shouldn't raid Mrs. Roper's closet when it's time to choose an outfit for the show. I'd agree with the judges that this was her best performance yet. But while Simon praised her knowledge of where the cameras were and her ability to play to them, her calculated stage presence reminded me of her lookalike Nikki McKibben winking at the camera. It somehow rings false.

Katelyn Epperly - "I Feel the Earth Move"

I kinda like Katelyn, but I'm afraid she will be going home. The judges nailed her to the cross for doing this Carole King tune. I thought they were a little overly harsh, but they were right that it was a pretty easy song to choose. She looked cute, but it was a cruise ship performance.

Didi Benami - "Rhiannon"

I was happy to see Didi redeem herself with a haunting rendition of this Fleetwood Mac chestnut. It was a gusty song choice after Lacey was criticized for picking "Landslide." Didi's performance recalled her Hollywood Week "American Boy" audition - lots of style and emotion.

Paige Miles - "Smile"

Paige failed to make the audience and the judges turn their frowns upside down with this performance. It was pretty dreadful, and Ellen was right to point out that she missed the uplifting spirit of the song. I think Paige will have to find a way to smile while her heart is breaking on Thursday when's she sent home.

Crystal Bowersox - "Gimme One Reason"

The judges loved this song choice, but I thought it was kinda predictable. Still, she really belted it out, and she's becoming more likable. Simon said she would sail into the Top 12, and I'm sure he's right.

Lilly Scott - "I Fall to Pieces"

Bjork does Patsy Cline. Apparently it's just me, but I feel like this girl's voice is like fingernails on the chalkboard. I don't get it.

Who's Going Home?

Paige, Katelyn, Lilly, and Lacey all seem vulnerable. I'm gonna ponder a while, but I'm thinking it'll be Paige and Katelyn going home.

American Idol Week 1: The Top 24

2010-02-25T23:19:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a disappointing start to the new season...nobody has knocked my bowersox off...nobody is worth detailed analysis at this point, but here are some quick impressions...

Paige Miles - "All Right Now"

She's got a big voice but she's pretty ordinary in the other departments. Simon said she has the best voice of the girls. It's hard to go first so I give her some points for surviving.

Ashley Rodriguez - "Happy"

She's a pretty girl and seemed talented from clips of Hollywood Week, but this wasn't a great song choice. Her early place in the lineup combined with the lackluster performance could doom her.

Janell Wheeler - "What About Love"

What about love? What about choosing a song you can handle? This was way too much for Janell. She'd need to coast on her coverage from earlier rounds to survive.

Lilly Scott - "Fixing a Hole"

I find her voice kind of irritating, but I give her points for being original and different. The white blond hair isn't flattering.

Katelyn Epperly - "Oh Darling"

She did better than I expected - kinda bluesy tone to her voice. I agree with Kara that her makeup and styling were overdone.

Haeley Vaughn - "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"

I wanna put my hands over my ears. This girl has a terribly annoying, nasally, screechy voice.

Lacey Brown - "Landslide"

I think Lacey is likable, but the judges hammered her. It was an awkward arrangement and she didn't bring anything new to this old chestnut. Stevie Nicks can rest easy.

Michelle Delamor - "Falling"

She's gutsy to take on an Alicia Keys song, and I thought her performance was polished, if not particularly memorable.

Didi Benami - "The Way I Am"

She reminds me of Brooke White, but less annoying.

Siobhan Magnus - "Wicked Game"

Cool song choice. She's quirky but has a frumpy air about her. Could be a dark horse, though.

Crystal Bowersox - "Hand in Pocket"

Looks like Crystal got her teeth whitened. She's a cool chick, and I like that she played guitar and harmonica. Simon has a point though - she's not unlike a lot of subway buskers.

Katie Stevens - "Feelin' Good"

I hate it when young girls sing sexy, adult songs. I hated this performance but I know she will survive another week, backed by all the Diana Degarmo voters.

Toderick Hall - "Since You've Been Gone"

This was a mess, and not a hot mess. Toderick's fame from earlier rounds will carry him through, but Kelly Clarkson can now sing another song about being wronged by a man because Toderick murdered her tune.

Aaron Kelly - "Here Comes Goodbye"

I love me some Rascal Flatts, but what hurts the most is when teens try to sing big people songs. Like Katie, Aaron sang a song that was too adult for him, but he showed strong vocal ability.

Jermaine Sellers - "Get Here"

Get here if you can...Jermaine, how did you get here singing like that? Affected and annoying. His attitude is writing checks his voice can't cash.

Tim Urban - "Apologize"

Meet this year's pen salesman - Jon Peter Lewis reincarnated. Yes, Tim was dreadful. Yes, he attempted a song he doesn't have the range to sing. Yes, Simon tried to axe him by declaring it was a mistake that he got through to this round. Does it matter? Not at all, because tweens will find him dreamy. He could be the lost Jonas brother.

Joe Munoz - "You and I Both"

It seems like Joe might have a good voice, but this performance was very muddled, and I didn't recognize the song. I think his failure to pick a good song coupled with our lack of knowledge of him from previous rounds and his non-dreamy, just average looks will doom him.

Tyler Grady - "American Woman"

Another flop, and I was disappointed because I really like this kid. This was poor karaoke.

Lee Dewyze - "Chasing Cars"

I thought this was kinda cool, but also kinda overdone. He's got a boy next door quality. Simon clearly wants him to stick around, and the show needs a rocker.

John Park - "God Bless the Child"

Another bad song choice. This was nearly incomprehensible. John is cute, but he seemed very nervous.

Michael Lynche - "This Love"

This was OK and he improved as the performance went along. This guy is just plain likable and will be around for a while even if his voice isn't as big as his biceps.

Alex Lambert - "Wonderful World"

I can't decide if tweens will find him dreamy. The mullet is really putting me off. I think they might want to rescue him this week after that "deer in the headlights" performance.

Casey Jones - "Heaven"

Ahh, Casey, I will join Kara in a puddle of drool over you. You just might be the hottest idol since Constantine Maroulis. And if the looks weren't enough, the guy can sing and actually seemed to connect with the material and pick an appropriate song for his voice. Since Paula is not here to say it, let me say it: "Touchdown!"

Andrew Garcia - "Sugar, We're Going Down"

Andrew, you won't be number one with a bullet with performances like this. Not a great song choice, but it's clear he's talented. The judges made sure he'd stick around by reminding us of his "Straight Up" performance.

My predictions for who's going home: Jermaine, Joe, Ashley, Haeley

Actual results: Joe, Tyler, Ashley, Janell

I'm batting .500. I am surprised Tyler was sent home. I thought he deserved another chance and had enough footage from Hollywood Week to get him the votes. But maybe the Jim Morrison/Mick Jagger look wasn't appealing to voters. They should have showed his bathrobe footage yesterday - might have won him some quirkiness votes. I'm stunned we have to endure Haeley for another week! Time to find my ear plugs.

American Idol: Thoughts on the Top 24

2010-02-21T15:07:00.000-08:00

Thoughts on the Top 24

Aaron Kelly - My friend C. Crumpet Swank has coined Aaron: "The depressed Kevin Covais." Now I can't watch him without laughing. Aaron is cute, only 16, with teen idol potential, yet he does seem a bit meloncholy. We'll see if he can bring more perkiness.

Alex Lambert - I haven't been impressed with what I've seen from Alex - just average at best. Plus last year's finalist was Adam Lambert. The names are too similar.

Andrew Garcia - I don't know why they put Andrew in the "Final 2" with Thaddeus, trying to create drama over who would make it. It was no contest. This guy has been a gamer from the get-go and really impressed me and the judges with his funky Hollywood week rendition of "Straight Up." One of the few who truly makes the songs his own, with a good backstory about wanting to make a better life for his wife and kid.

Ashley Rodriguez - Ashley has a strong voice and can belt. She's pretty, seems likable.

Casey James - Casey is definitely a frontrunner. He's got cool long hair and he's dreamy - he reminds me of Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise. Also, he's got a different style - playing blues guitar. Top 12 fer sure.

Crystal Bowersox - Crystal has an awesome name. She's certainly a little rough around the edges and I'm sure Simon would say she doesn't fit the Idol image, but, man, what a voice. She's got a bit of a Janis Joplin thing going on. Plus she's a young mom. If she gets her teeth whitened, she should make the Top 12. She could knock your bowersox off!

Didi Benami - Didi is very likable and reminds me of Brooke White. She seems like a good spirit and has been trying to make it for sometime, while working as a waitress. I like her voice and her style and expect her to make the Top 12.

Haeley Vaughn - I can't imagine why this girl made it over Shelby Dressel and Angela Martin. Her voice has a helium tinge to it. Simon mentioned she could be annoying and I definitely agree.

Janell Wheeler - Janell is pretty, nice voice, but I haven't seen anything special so far.

Jermaine Sellers - Jermaine got in trouble for complaining that the band failed him in his final audition performance. His attitude will probably get in the way. I foresee sassing back at the judges, which is never attractive.

Joe Munoz - I have no impression of Joe. Admittedly, I missed some of the audition shows, but they didn't really showcase him during Hollywood Week.

John Park - I have no impression of John Park either.

Katelyn Epperly - Katelyn is young and cute - she's definitely the type that Simon loves to pick. It remains to be seen if she can run with the big dogs.

Katie Stevens - Katie is only 17, and I'm not sure she's ready for the big stage. She seems very sweet and has a good backstory about caring for her grandmother who has Alzheimer's.

Lacey Brown - Lacey made the top 50 last year before getting cut, so now she gets a chance to perform for America. I don't have much a sense of her talent, but she's got a different, edgy look.

Lee Dewyze - Lee seems like a bar band singer and tough guy. He could fill a rocker slot.

Lilly Scott - Lilly is another frontrunner. With her gray-blond hair, she's got a unique look and her vocal stylings are unusual too. Very cool chick.

Michael Lynche - I don't think this guy would be in the Top 24 if his wife hadn't gone into labor and had their child during Hollywood Week. Big Mike is likable, a bodybuilder, and can sing, but if I was his wife, I'd be really pissed off he missed that moment. He's only 26, so he had two more years to come back and try again.

Michelle Delamor - Nice name, pretty girl, but other than that, I have no opinion.

Paige Miles - I don't remember much about Paige either.

Siobhan Magnus - I'm curious to see how Siobhan does. She's been a bit uneven in her performances, but she brings a fresh approach to her songs. She probably needs a bit of a makeover.

Tim Urban - Tim got the spot relinquished by Chris Golightly, who was kicked out of the Top 24 for formerly having a record contract with a boy band that he hid from the judges. Tim has teen idol appeal and could be a dark horse.

Todrick Hall - This kid has some show biz experience, having performing alongside Fantasia in "The Color Purple." He can do backflips, is good-looking (nice eyes) and can sing. He states that he's more a dancer than a singer, but so far, so good.

Tyler Grady - Tyler is one of my favorites. I love his 70s style. He said he admires Robert Plant and Jim Morrison, but I think of Mick Jagger when I watch him. He's got a sexy swagger about him.

Controversial Cuts

Angela Martin - I actually shed a few tears along with Angela, when she received the news she'd been cut. I don't know what the Idol judges were thinking! Nobody has more sympathy-generating drama in his/her storyline than Angela (father murdered during her first audition, sent to jail for traffic ticket during his second audition, mother missing during third audition, handicapped daughter who has seizures), plus the girl is cute, likable and can really sing. Looks like Kara and Ellen realize they made a mistake, because they put Angela on Ellen's show and offered to produce a single for her. Angela talked about her experience in People.

Thaddeus "I'm not Bubbly" Johnson - This large queeny teen had a lot of likability, style, and a good voice. He also had an endearing storyline with his extremely supportive cheerleader mother. However, he's only 16, and I guess the judges felt he needed more time to mature.

Shelby Dressel - Shelby had the potential to be a big fan favorite, with her story of overcoming facial paralysis. It would have been nice to see someone like her on TV, plus she could sing. I'm not sure her voice or stage presence were strong enough to carry her all the way, but I would have liked to see her try. Shelby gets an "Ellen" appearance too.

Top 12 Predictions

Boys: Andrew, Tyler, Michael, Casey, Todrick, Aaron

Girls: Didi, Crystal, Ashley, Lilly, Katelyn, Siobhan

American Idol 2010 - Hollywood Week

2010-02-10T18:49:00.001-08:00

This is my favorite stage of the Idol competition and I always wish they would rename it "Hollywood Weeks" and give us two weeks of the high drama, as opposed to 3 or 4 weeks of auditions which I mostly don't bother to watch anymore. But, I will take what I can get.

Last night was the first Hollywood Week episode and Ellen's first appearance as a judge. She had a few funny moments but overall I feel the pace will be slow again this year with four judges.

Here's the highlights and lowlights...

* Andrew Garcia - Andrew is likable and he did a really funky, slow version of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." Kara called it "genius" (reminding me of how often that word is overused) and said it hearkened back to Adam Lambert's creativity. I really enjoyed the performance and expect him to go far. He's my favorite so far.

Vanessa Wolfe - The nervous country girl proved too nervous and got cut.

Amadeo DiRocco - I was rooting for this Tony Soprano lookalike, but he didn't have the chops to advance.

* Janell Wheeler - Janell broke out her guitar for a funky version of "American Boy". She's pretty and has a really good voice.

Haeley Vaughn - She was nervous about playing her guitar and was a bit awkward with it, but her voice and winning personality carried her through.

Mary Powers - This 28-year-old rocker and mom did a strong rendition of "Sober." She's a bit rough around the edges, but she definitely can belt.

Jay Stone - The Florida beatboxer failed to impress so we won't see a sequel to Blake Lewis this year.

* Lilly Scott - She's quirky, kind of an Amy Winehouse type but less tragic. Judges slobbered all over her.

"Big" Michael Lynche - His wife went into labor while he was at the auditions, but he stayed to see if he could fulfill his dream. So far so good. Very likable guy, but if I was his wife I wouldn't be that supportive.

Tim Urban - He looks like a Jonas brother and his voice is just okay, but the teen idol looks could carry him far.

Justin Williams - He's a cancer survivor and he tried to sing and play the keyboard but the judges found it too loungey.

Maddy Curtis - Aww, I was sorry to see Maddy go home. She's the girl from the big family with three brothers who have Downs Syndrome. But I'd have to agree, she was nervous and not quite ready. She's only 16, so maybe she'll be back.

* Casey Jones - He's cute, has a ponytail, kinda reminded me of Brad Pitt in "Thelma and Louise." His blues guitar sets him apart.

* Didi Benami - She's a waitress who kissed up to Kara by singing one of her songs - "Terrified." Good job and she's pretty.

* Crystal Bowersox - She's a young mom, also kinda rough, but a powerhouse voice that recalled Janis Joplin. I love her name, too.

Asterisks represent who I think is likely to make the Top 25.

Now, onto Group Night!!

Herb Alpert and Lani Hall - Still Swingin'

2010-01-30T17:12:00.000-08:00

It was a thrill to get a chance to see Herb Alpert in concert, having grown up listening to my parents' Tijuana Brass albums and having a ton of nostalgia for the Whipped Cream album in particular (see an earlier Ape Culture story on our recollections of growing up with that mysteriously sexy album in our otherwise Christian homes).

I was not familiar with the work of his wife Lani Hall, but she has had an amazing career in her own right, including performing with Sergio Mendes and Brasil '66. I discovered she has a great voice and the two of them have adorable chemistry on stage. Joining Hall and Alpert were piano player Bill Cantos, bass player Hussein Jiffry, and drummer Michael Shapiro. They were a tight band but also did a fair amount of improvisation.

Early in the set, Herb commented on how oddly intimate Walt Disney Hall felt, how he could see most of the audience's faces. He then encouraged the audience to yell out questions and comments, but not requests. This led to some chaos that continued throughout the night with comments ranging from one woman who asked how he and Lani got together and then proceeded to tell the story herself since she must have read it somewhere (why do people ask questions when they know the answers?), to a woman wanting to know if Herb graduated from Fairfax High (yes, and his good high school friend was the late Jack Kemp who he said was one of the only gentiles there), to someone asking who his favorite A&M Records (his label) artist was - Tijuana Brass of course!

Sergio Mendes was in the house! Herb gave a shout out to him. Too bad they didn't jam together.

Herb has always been criticized by "serious" jazz artists for being too pop. With this combo, he tries to get away from playing the Tijuana Brass tunes and play more jazz, but it's still mostly bossanova stuff and standards. It's light jazz at best. Still, I found it to be a very enjoyable concert.

Lani Hall has an excellent voice and can handle the Brazilian songs with aplomb. She has great command of the language. They did standards by Cole Porter, George Gershwin, and Johnny Mercer. Herb stated that he found Porter to be very relevant today and implored us to listen to the lyrics of "Anything Goes" (title cut from his 2009 Album with Hall). They slowed down "That Old Black Magic" and came up with a sexy version.

Herb is 74 now and doesn't look like a heartthrob anymore. His hair is gray and he has Nicholson pattern baldness. Lani looked a lot like my therapist which was a bit hard for me to get over. However, the two of them are clearly in love and have a playfulness about them that was fun to watch. My friend joked that they were like two high school kids who had to end the show quickly so they could go backstage and make out. Herb sang "I've Grown Accustomed to Your Face" to Lani, and it was a sweet moment. He ended the song with a few notes from "This Guy's in Love with You" which was a perfect end note to a somewhat lovably awkward moment (Like Burt Bacharach who wrote "This Guy's in Love with You", Herb doesnt have a great voice but there is something warm about the way he sings, which he rarely does).

The crowd went nuts for a Tijuana Brass medley that featured snippets of "A Taste of Honey", "The Lonely Bull" and other pop chestnuts. I would have loved to have heard more of this stuff, but I respect that he's got to do his current thing.

This event finally gave me an opportunity to see Walt Disney Concert Hall, and I have to say I was really impressed with the acoustics. It does kind of feel like LA has its own Sydney Opera House. The interior has similar swooping lines, and smooth wood, without feeling as chaotic as the outside of the building would lead you to expect. The pipes from the pipe organ jut out in all directions, but everything else is smooth. We were sitting behind the stage, which wasn't ideal. The sound was fine, but we got tired of looking at the back of Herb's and Lani's heads. We had good views of the drummer and the piano player, but it would have been nice if Herb and Lani could have played to the back a bit more. Oh well - life in the cheap seats.

The encore was a medley of Jobim songs which put a swingin' coda on a great evening. He even threw in a few notes of "Spanish Flea" for fans of The Dating Game. I definitely recommend you catch the show if it comes around. My only disappointment was that I didn't see anyone in the crowd dressed in whipped cream.

Book Review: The Spiritual Biography of John Lennon

2010-01-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

I’ve read the story of The Beatles many, many times from many, many angles. I once liked Paul. Then I became annoyed by his smugness on TV of late. Long before all that, I liked John. I even wore his style of sunglasses in high school. But I also became annoyed by his political smugness (and I agreed with it and was still annoyed!). Then I liked George—he was the cute one after all who was into Eastern philosophy in a more permanent seeming way than the others. But then I recently read “Wonderful Tonight” by his ex-wife Pattie Boyd (the book is mostly an address book of the people she's hung out with alongside tormented descriptions of herself as a doormat-wife with a dearth of any real dish about Paul, Ringo and John, but entirely too much about George and Eric Clapton). So now I’m stuck with Ringo. I’ve already seen two Ringo All-Star Ringo shows and I don't know how much more of that I can take.

On the other hand, now that I know that Ringo contributed one of my favorite Beatle lines, “...writing the words to a sermon that no one will hear...” to the song "Eleanor Rigby," I’m favoring to the idea of Ringo solidarity.

Well…maybe one is not meant to choose.

"The Cynical Idealist: A Spiritual Biography of John Lennon" was written by author, sculptor and teacher Gary Tillery in response to his shock that his students considered John Lennon just the garden variety of celebrity and not the more elevated type of activist/philosopher celebrity that older fans of Lennon consider him to be. Tillery's book aims to draw out Lennon’s thoughts on God and social responsibility in order to show how unique Lennon was among the vapid celebrities of today.

This, I believe, is a false premise due to the fact that we have PLENTY of activist celebrities, Bono of the rock band U2 being the most obvious example of celebrity activism on the Lennon scale. To a degree Bono is so serious he has almost risked becoming a joke unto himself and somewhat impossible to follow. John Lennon himself is quite a bit short of a real philosopher. I’ve known plenty of wannabie philosophers...called poets – and songwriters are no better at it. Which is not to say Lennon didn’t philosophize a lot. He just did not do the years of legwork required of a real academic (in or outside of the ivory tower).

That said, I did like this book and I appreciated how it fleshed out Lennon’s social and religious choices more singularly than other biographies have done, including his early and underlying roots of cynicism and anarchism, his dabbling with meditation and the Maharishi, what that whole primal scream therapy thing was all about, and a good timeline of his peace and feminist activities and art projects with Yoko Ono.

The Beatles in general and John Lennon on his own are always interesting for study from different perspectives, especially with respect to notes on the origins of their songs. I liked how this book included songs for suggested listening to go along with the text. Newbie Beatlefiles probably don’t have the full Lennon CD catalogue yet. And the old-schoolers who do have all the songs may find this book to be a retread. All the stories have been told many times in many other books. Here, they are just consolidated and contemplated on.

Comparing Lennon to Gandhi and Martin Luther King is a bit much. They made extreme sacrifices and Lennon was no politician. But he did have good ideas for peace and was a motivated activist. If you're into biographies of spiritually-minded celebrities (as I am) then this will fit nicely on your book shelf between last year's lite fare by Amy Grant and the biography of Alan Watts.

Deaths of a King and an Angel

2009-06-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough week for LA and the rest of the celebrity-worshipping world. Thursday morning brought the news that Farrah Fawcett had succumbed to cancer. I was really sad to hear this, although after having watched her documentary, it was clear she wasn't getting better. I grew up as a fan of Charlie's Angels and admired Farrah's performance in The Burning Bed, but I didn't really pay much attention to her until she got sick. I was then really impressed by her brave fight against cancer. It takes guts when you are a woman whose livelihood is based on looks to show yourself looking your worst. I know she will remain an inspiration to many, and she has definitely raised the awareness of anal cancer and cancer in general. If it can happen to Farrah, it can happen to any of us.

Thursday afternoon, poor Farrah was quickly eclipsed by the news that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital. TMZ reported he was dead. Legit news sites were just saying he was at the ER. Who to believe? Facebook and Twitter nearly collapsed under the avalanche of posting. We got nothing done at work discussing the drama. And then the surreal news that Michael was indeed dead came across the legit newswire.

I've never been a fan, not even when I was 10 years old and Thriller came out and all the other kids were wearing zipper jackets and one glove. I never bought the album. I don't dispute he's a musical genius, but his music wasn't really my bag. It's tough to make a saint out of someone who may have been a pedophile. Of course we will never know the truth, but there was certainly a lot of shady behavior and eccentricities. Still, my sympathy goes out to his children and family. This is definitely a loss to pop culture on the level of Elvis.

Some people seem surprised at the hysteria going on in the wake of Michael's death. We at Ape Culture are not surprised. We've been dealing with his hysterical fans for years. You see, they have taken umbrage over basically any article we've written that has been even slightly critical of Michael. And their hatemail attacks have often been vicious and personal. His fans are a breed apart. They have called us ugly and wished cancer on us. After a while, we were receiving so much hate mail from MJ fans, we decided to make it easy for them by creating the Michael Jackson Mad-as-Hell-Lib which automatically generates a hate mail.

Here is a representative example of the emails we received over the years (spelling errors left intact):

OK I REALLY HATE YOU GUYS FOR DOING THIS! MICHAEL IS THE BEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET AND HE ROCKS MY WORLD. STOP INSULTING HIM LIKE THAT! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE DID THAT TO YOU? I THINK YOU GUYS ARE JELEOUS BECAUSE HE HAS MONEY! AND AS FOR HIS LOOKS, LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!! MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS! DIDN'T YOU GET THE MESSAGE FROM HIS SONG "PRIVACY"? HE WAS ALWAYS THE BEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE!!! HE IS A NICE, CARING, HELPING MAN. AND THATS ONLY THE FEW OF THE WORDS I CAN DESCRIBE HIM WITH. ANYWAYS ITS NOT LIKE YOU GUYS ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL YOURSELVES THAT YOU DO THIS TO HIM!! I THINK YOU BETTER WRITE TO HIM AND APOLOGIZE!!! HE IS GREAT. I'M SORRY BUT I AM REALLY PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. ANYWAYS YOU PEOPLE BETTER GET A LIFE, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ONE! (OVIOUSLY) I DON'T GET IT WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU???? ANYWAYS IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY.ONCE MORE I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, GET A LIFE, MORONS!!!!!!!!!
***** | 01.24.03 - 5:55 pm | #

We currently have 173 such comments on the site. You can read them all here.

So if you are hoping the hysteria will die down soon and we can just remember the music, think again. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

For the Ape Culture perspective on Michael through the years, check out:

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Getting Over the Michael Jackson Documentary

Be Michael in our Michael Jackson Choose-Your-Own-Celebrity-Adventure

A review of Michael's 30th Anniversary Television Special

Ape Culture Cares About Celebrities on Hard Times: The Oompa Loompa Clinic for Celebrities Suddenly Gone Wack

I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here: Demons Were Coming Out of Me!

2009-06-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

I really don't know where to begin.

When I heard that Sanjaya, Speidi, and Janice Dickinson were all going to be on this show, I knew I would be wasting time and brain cells on it.

My mind is just boggling at the religious conversion of Heidi and Spencer. I've watched most of The Hills, and I've never seen Heidi talk about her faith, other than wanting to get married in a church. I've seen her invoke Jesus on TMZ a few times, but usually she was praying to Jesus to get a record deal or something similar, with her tongue firmly implanted in her cheek (sorry, couldnt help putting "Heidi" and "implanted" in the same sentence). Now all of a sudden she is professing she wants to be the next Mother Theresa. Does she realize she would have to wear the same outfit everyday? She said her life's purpose is to do Jesus' will and He will make her His instrument. Hmm, somehow I don't think Jesus' big plan for her involves working for SBE and planning big parties.

Then we got to see Spencer baptized by Stephen Baldwin. And Heidi and Spencer spent a "dark night of the soul" in The Lost Chamber. This was the test they had to endure to be allowed back on the show. They prayed the whole time and Spencer had visions. Stephen Baldwin thinks Spencer's conversion is real, but the rest of the cast seems to have doubts. Yeah, I'm a Doubting Thomas about this, too.

Janice Dickinson is starting to look like the Cat Woman because she's had so much work. It's actually hard to look at most of the celebrities without makeup. Janice and Sanyaya have developed an odd bond.

Who's coming off the best? Well, John Salley has been pretty fun and stable, but he did go a bit far in name-calling with Janice. He had the classic line, "If Janice was on fire, I wouldn't pee on her." Frangela had some funny moments, but they mostly just laid around on their cots. Lou Diamond Phillips is strong but kinda boring. Patty Blagojevich is surprisingly normal.

Amazingly, I'd say Sanjaya is coming off the best. He has thrown himself in with gusto, cut his fauxhawk into a real mohawk, and embraced his primal self. He's eaten bugs and bull testicles. He's even been nurturing to Janice. Now Heidi may be aspiring to be a saint, but I think that act shows Sanjaya already is one.

Nuts for Mutts 2009: The Quest for Shade

2009-05-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hello fans,

I've come to realize I am not content with the 15 minutes of fame I received from being on Who Gets the Dog. Therefore, I'm always seeking the spotlight. Thus, I implore Coolia to register me for the Nuts for Mutts dog show each year. It's a fundraiser for New Leash on Life animal rescue. As a rescue dog myself, I heartily support the cause.

The dog show takes place at Pierce College in Woodland Hills. Even a D-list Dog like myself rarely ventures into "The Valley," but I make an exception for this show. The show inevitably happens on a boiling hot day, because, well, most days are boiling hot in The Valley.

Friends, you know that I am delicate, and my albino skin cannot take much direct sunlight, so today was a challenge for me. It was already hot when we arrived at 9:30am, and temps later climbed into the 90s. My first category was Best Smile. I refused to drink water before the event because I know I have to be panting in order to have a big smile. Being a star requires suffering and sacrifice. I thought the competition was fierce as every dog was panting and therefore smiling, but it turned out we all advanced to the Finals by default. There were only 10 dogs competing (out of possibly 25 slots) and 10 dogs get to go to the Finals. I consider this a rather hollow victory. I also noticed my teeth are getting a bit yellow as I'm now 5 years old. It may be time for Lumineers.

I took a break to relax in the shade with some of Coolia's friends, including Nerdia and BFF who brought along my good friend Franz. Franz was not competing, but he came to cheer me on. It always does a competitor good to have friendly faces in the crowd.

Next up for me was "Most Handsome - Medium Breed." This should be easy for me as I'm medium and damn handsome. I did notice I was up against some other pretty attractive dogs, including Bentley who was quite unusual, being half Bassett Hound and half English Bulldog. There were 12 dogs in the category and 10 of us advanced to the Finals - including me! The judge called me a stud. Coolia pointed out that Kimberly Caldwell, former American Idol contestant, was on hand for the judging of the early rounds. I yawned.

8 dogs braved the heat and stuck around for the finals of Most Handsome. I pranced into the ring, feeling this was my chance to grab a blue ribbon and make it to the Best in Show round. Debra Wilson, formerly of Mad TV was once again the emcee. She and I go way back. So, I was feeling comfortable. Then, Coolia squealed with glee when she found out Rip Taylor would be judging my category. I did not know who the old man with the funny moustache was, so Coolia informed me he had hosted The $1.98 Beauty Show. This didn't lend me much clarity. The other judges for my round were Anna Friel and Ian Somerhalder of Lost. Coolia said Ian was truly the Most Handsome. Down, girl!

I turned on the charm, but Coolia distracted Rip from admiring me by telling him a story about how the first musical she ever saw as a kid was Peter Pan at the Fabulous Fox Theater in St. Louis and he played Captain Hook. Rip said he remembered the show, and "I'm still at it, honey. Check me out at riptaylor.com!" He then did briefly examine me and pronounce me cute. Anna kept her distance, but Ian seemed captured by my whimsy.

The judges conferred. The suspense was killing me. Or maybe it was the heat. Debra took the microphone to announce the winners. She began humming "Frankenstein" so I knew she was talking about me as that is one of my namesake's songs. I got Third Place! I got a yellow ribbon! First place went to Bailey, a cocker spaniel-ish dog with a luxurious coat. Bailey was nice, so I won't talk trash about him, but the long hair does make him kinda look like a girl. I'm just sayin...

I enjoyed an air-conditioned ride back to the more civilized West Side of Los Angeles, happy with my ribbon but still setting my pink eyes on the prize of Best in Show -wait 'til next year!

Attending an Osbournes: Reloaded Taping, or Journey to a Lower Circle of Hell

2009-04-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

Julie and Dave being forced to applaud at a taping of The Osbournes: Reloaded

WARNING - Spoilers of upcoming episodes of The Osbournes: Reloaded

I've lived in LA long enough now to know that attending TV tapings is usually excruciatingly dull. You have to show up early and wait in line. There's a lot of herding. The studios are freezing. There's usually a bad warm-up comedian. And it will take at least 3 hours to tape a 30-minute show unless it's live like American Idol or a well-oiled machine like The Price is Right.

Occasionally, my fandom takes over and I forget this painful reality. Thus, I attended a taping of The Osboures: Reloaded. I somehow convinced my friend Christopher and boyfriend Dave to join me on this adventure.

We arrived about an hour before the taping and started the herding process. In the holding pen, we were asked to fill out questionnaires. We were told there would be some audience participation in the show and the chance to win stuff. So we had to answer things like "would you eat crickets for $50? $100? $500?" We also had to fill out some fun facts about ourselves. Once inside the studio, we were asked if we minded getting wet. We said we didn't. I figured this would mean Ozzy would spray the crowd with a fire hose, the way he does in concert. So because we were game, we got seats in the front row, off to the side.

And so the variety show began. The Osbournes took the stage with their dogs. Immediately, we could tell the writing was horrible. Due to a dispute with the Writer's Guild, the show was using non-union writers. Boy, did it show. The banter between the Osbournes was so cheesy and stilted that it made Sonny's and Cher's banter seem positively Shakespearean in comparison.

We were introduced to a super Fall Out Boy fan. She was shown a video of the band, allegedly sitting in her bedroom. She then was told she would get to go meet the band! A limo whisked her away. We later learned the bedroom was just a set, and when she got to her house, the band wasn't there. But never fear, she got back to the studio in time to see the band perform. The "superfan" tried to lipsynch along but didnt seem to know the words. She was clearly an actress, as was everyone brought on stage.

Another segment involved a girl and guy being picked from the crowd and asked to make out on stage, while blindfolded. For a second kiss, they swapped the cute young girl for an old lady. Hilarity ensued as we watched them kiss. Yuck. Again, all actors.

The kids didn't seem happy. Ozzy looked pretty miserable. Only Sharon seemed to be enjoying herself. I was reminded of the essay I wrote many moons ago when The Osbournes MTV show was all the rage - where I was upset at Sharon for turning Ozzy into a clown and worried that she was exploiting her kids who wouldn't handle fame well. I hate to say I told ya so. You could tell the only reason they were all on stage was because the check cleared. Sharon must want to redecorate one of the houses.

In another segment called "The Other Osbournes," the family hit the road to visit someone named Osbourne who is really into UFOs. This was kinda quirky but ultimately seemed like making fun of the mentally ill.

Another painful segment was called something like "Challenge Jack" and another allegedly random audience member was brought on stage to compete against Jack. They were put in tanks of supposedly freezing water and whoever failed to answer a question would have ice poured on top of them. The water was clearly not cold, and Jack's acting skills couldn't sell it.

The only funny segment of the show was a video segment where Ozzy was inserted into various films, like Pirates of the Caribbean. These bits have been used as show openers on Ozzfest for many years, and they are always hilarious. Ozzy can be very funny, when he's being himself, not reading off a script.

I was hoping that Ozzy and Kelly might sing a song together, or Ozzy would play with his band. This is a variety show, right? There should be music. Well, the only music was a song by Fall Out Boy. I was suprised at how collectively diminutive the band was. It wasn't great, but it did wake us up a bit.

At the end of the show, Ozzy took out the fire hose and sprayed the crowd. Christopher and I got soaked in foam, but somehow he totally missed the biggest target, Dave. No fair! We were then briefly toweled off but sent out into a chilly December evening in wet clothes. At concerts, Ozzy sprays the crowd because he's gotten the crowd worked up into a sweaty, yelling, tit-flashing frenzy. It feels good to get cooled off by his hose. Here it just felt like The Osbournes were pissing on us. The whole show was so utterly insulting, as was the experience of being in the audience. By the way, the questionairres we had labored over weren't used at all. Yes, the whole evening was a total waste of time.

After three hours of this torture, I again vowed never again to attend a TV taping, and expressed further sadness for Ozzy for having to be in this pathetic mess. Sharon uses him the way Colonel Tom used Elvis. I believe the show is scheduled for 6 episodes, but I'll be surprised if all 6 episodes actually air. The first episode aired last Tuesday, benefitting from the great lead-in of American Idol. Watching it, I noticed they showed our opening and the kiss segment. The other segments were cobbled together from other tapings. Ozzy and Sharon went on Howard Stern this week to promote the show, but Ozzy had nothing positive to say. He said he hoped the show would bomb so he wouldn't have to do it anymore. So do we, Ozzy, so do we.

When the show was annouced, Ozzy promised it would not be like Sonny and Cher. He's right. Sonny and Cher was actually entertaining.

American Idol - Country Night

2009-03-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

Michael Sarver - "Aint Goin Down Til The Sun Comes Up"

I'd agree with the judges that his memorization skills are impressive. But he didn't really seem like a great entertainer for me. His enthusiasm wasn't infectious. The song was kind of a novelty song and didn't show any range. He talked back to the judges in a nice way, but I still deduct points for any talking back.

Allison Iraheta - "Blame It On Your Heart"

Allison is one of my favorites, but I don't know if she has the total package to make it on this show. She's cute but kinda weird with the bright red hair, and she doesn't have Megan's gorgeousness. But she sure has a great voice. The song was kinda boring, but it definitely showcased her pipes.

Kris Allen - "To Make You Feel My Love"

Wow, I'm really liking Kris. He doesn't radiate a huge personality, but he's dreamy and his voice has a good range. This was a very tender and quiet performance, yet still confident and strong.

Lil Rounds - "Independence Day"

I liked this more than the judges. It was definitely awkward for Lil to have to do any country song, but I loved how she belted her way through the chorus. She also looked the best she's looked, and the dress and makeup were flattering. But then she nearly ruined it all for me with excessive sassing back to the judges. Ugh, do the contestants need a media trainer to tell them that this is never an attractive behavior? Take the criticism, say thank you, and walk off the stage.

Adam Lambert - "Ring of Fire"

Randy Travis was freaked out by Adam, and this performance freaked me out a bit, too. Like Simon, I felt it was self-indulgent. Adam comes off as very affected to me, and his Broadway performance style gets old fast. I truly believe he is better suited to playing on Broadway than being a pop star, and he would rock on Broadway. I no longer think he's going to make the Top 2. Even if he was high, Johnny Cash would have rolled his eyes at this version.

Scott MacIntyre - "Wild Angels"

I'd agree with the judges that this was very similar to Scott's performance from last week and didn't involve risk-taking. However, he's very pleasant to listen to, and I enjoy his performances, especially if I close my eyes and just listen. Scott loses points for talking back to the judges, too. I don't see him lasting too much longer.

Alexis Grace - "Jolene"

She wasn't nearly as sexy as last week, and she didn't really sell what should have been a perfect song for her, given her Dolly-esque demeanor and looks. She didn't make me believe the desperation of the song, so it came off very karaoke. I think she's a goner, although I do still like her.

Danny Gokey - "Jesus Take the Wheel"

Danny is very likable, but this was kind of an odd song choice. The jacket was not a good choice either. He looked very dorky, but then dorks have won this show before (ie, Taylor Hicks). It was another strong performance but not a particularly memorable one.

Anoop Desai - "Always On My Mind"

Yay, Anoop! I like this kid, so I was glad he redeemed himself tonight with a powerful and original version of this old chestnut. He didn't back off from picking a signature song even though he got slammed last week for doing "Beat It." But instead of being an imitator, he became an innovator. The performance was confident, tender, and powerful.

Megan Joy Corkrey - "Walking After Midnight"

I hope viewers will realize the limitations that come along with life choices like tattoo sleeves. While Megan had a very pretty dress, it looked kind of ridiculous when paired with her sleeve. I thought this performance was horrible, and she seemed very stiff. I was ready to write her off, until the judges pointed out she was deathly ill and quite a trooper to be performing. That news and her prettiness should be enough to get her another week.

Matt Giraud - "So Small"

Matt is definitely likable and he's got a Billy Joel vibe going on. He keeps it real. I like the dude. I wasn't crazy about the song choice, but he was still one of the best of the night.

Predictions

Bottom 3 - Megan, Allison, Alexis
Going home - Alexis

Ghost Hunters International Sucks Less Now!

2009-03-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

I feel like I’ve lost a whole year of GHI. While my bf has been hooked beyond walking away… no matter how bugaboo the show was for the first two seasons, I slept through all of the second season. Literally, the music would come on and I’d be out. I couldn’t even enjoy its badness.

This year, some very good structural improvements have been made. Brian is gone. I admit, I kind of liked Brian-drama but then again I never had to work with him. Meanwhile, Barry has taken over equipment setup. He’s good at that. Give him something to focus on and he stops going haywire over every shadow, noise or fancy e-meter reading. Less of him talking is a good thing. He sounds arrogant when he talks. Maybe he can’t help it.

Now if I had a dime for every time we asked is that a scar or a skinny soul patch? I’d be able to buy a big gulp right now at the 7-Eleven.

Andy Andrews is also gone and although I did like him too, the combination of leader Rob and Dustin (who has stepped up to be the #2 guy) has more chemistry. Andy was too intense sometimes. I always felt he was overcompensating for something, which he didn’t need to do because he was bright and well-spoken. And he didn’t take no grief from ghosts although he didn’t seem so keen of a debunker on GHI that he was on Ghost Hunters the original.

Three new members are now on the show, all good: Joe, Brandy and Angelica. The girls are great: no theatrics or politics (at least as far as we can see), very hard to spook. The only thing that bugs me about those two is their over-application of eye shadow. Like Dustin’s (improved but still) occasional insistence on wearing his top-less baseball cap backward and upside down, it’s distracting and unnecessary. Ghosts are not impressed.

But best of all, GHI is back to doing some freakin debunking again! Say a hallelujah everybody. That’s what I like to see because then when they do find something strange, it’s more believable when we know they’ve done due-diligence debunking. Plus the debunking solutions are usually more interesting than the ghost activity.

I’m like, get on with your afterlife already, ghosts! Or say something interesting then!

GHI has also been to some better locations this season: Dracula’s castle (guess what: not haunted) and a Paris chateau. These guys are finally interesting enough to start watching again. Thank god, because I’ve been oversleeping.

American Idol - The Second 12 of the Top 36 Perform

2009-02-26T16:15:00.001-08:00

Jasmine Murray - "Love Song"

I like this girl so I was disappointed in the generic performance. She's cute and charming but this song didnt let her show off any skillz.

Matt Giraud - "Viva La Vida"

Matt is talented but seems to lack star quality. He also seemed very nervous to me. Watching him, I thought about Albert Brooks sweating through the newscast in Broadcast News. He looked that uncomfortable. And I'm surprised since he works in a dueling piano bar.

Jeanine Vailes - "This Love"

Ugh, I hated this. She does have great legs but she kind of looks like a drag queen. I found her performance to be annoying and shrill.

Nick Mitchell aka Norman Gentle - "And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going"

LOL! I loved this performance. Finally, some entertainment in this boring show! I laughed and laughed. Yes, he's mocking the show. But hey, it needs some mocking. Plus, the boy can sing. You could tell that during Hollywood week, which was why the judges didnt know what to do with him. Here he struggled on the hardest song in the world, but he did hit a few good notes. I wish he'd make it to the Top 12 just so his Andy Kaufmanesque takeover of Idol could go on and on.

Allison Iraheta - "Alone"

Wow, I liked this girl a lot. I didn't expect to, given her look and demeanor in the interview, but she rocked out on a very hard song. She seems older than 16 to me. Her voice reminded me a little of Bonnie Tyler or last year's rock and roll nurse (but better than the nurse).

Kris Allen - "Man in the Mirror"

I agree with the judges that it wasn't a great song choice, but Kris is definitely cute and likable. He's got real teen idol potential if he can radiate a somewhat bigger personality. He started off shaky but got better as he went through the song.

Megan Joy Corkery - "Put Your Records On"

I wasn't digging this girl and wasn't sure what the judges were raving about. With her blond hair and innocent white dress and tattoo sleeve, she looked like the spawn of Brooke White and Carly Smithson. She's definitely beautiful but I found her voice irritating and pitchy and thought she seemed nervous. Also, what's up with the odd dance moves and Tammy Faye eyelashes?

Matt Breitzke - "If You Could Only See"

Blech. I'm typically a fan of contestants who are built like offensive linemen (cf Sundance Head, Matt Rogers), but Matt leaves me a bit cold. I thought this was a generic bar band performance of a generic bar band song. He then made things worse by smarting off to the judges.

Jessie Longseth - "Bette Davis Eyes"

Ooh, awesome song, but too bad she sounded so nasally. There is something irritating about her personality too. And then more sass to the judges. Goodbye, Jessie.

Kai Kalama - "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted"

Making an error of Samsonesque proportions, Kai either cut or tied back his hair so it looked like a mop top. His hair was really his best feature, and it looked dorky last night. This was a pretty boring performance and I don't think his heartwarming story will be enough to get him through.

Mishavonna Henson - "Drops of Jupiter"

I like this girl. She has a whimsical look about her and a nice personality. But she didn't really bring it. Still, I think she has a shot to make it. I like the name. She should drop her last name and just be Mishavonna.

Adam Lambert - "Satisfaction"

God, this kid grates on my nerves. I know he can sing but everything about him is so contrived. He's now desperately trying to be butch but we won't forget that he covered "Believe." His hairstyle is annoying but I guess it makes him Tiger-Beat-Ready. I thought the performance was totally cheesola, but I have to admit that his stage presence and voice are on a different level than the rest of this group, except for Allison. Notice how they let him sing last just like they let Danny Gokey sing last - they are pushing their favorites.

Predictions

Top Guy - Adam Lambert
Top Gal - Alison Iraheta
Third Finisher - Nick Mitchell (a girl can dream)

American Idol - The First 12 of the Top 36 Perform

2009-02-18T00:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight's show began with some banter between Ryan and the judges. Paula seemed drugged out again. She had been looking better to me during the earlier shows this season. I guess that shows the magic of editing - not much they can due to hide her glazed over expression and slurring on Live TV.

Jackie Tohn - "A Little Less Conversation"

OK, Jackie, you can mug and prance around the stage all you want but you'll never outdo Jon Peter Lewis on this song! Her outfit was not very flattering, and Paula stated it reminded her of Randy's "Journey pants." Pretty sure that's not a compliment. She gets points for being an oddball but her Karen O type performance is not going to win over the dialing fingers of many Idol viewers.

Ricky Braddy - "Song For You"

Wow, I was impressed with Ricky's voice. It was gorgeous and reminded me a little of George Michael. He really delivered on this difficult song. Too bad he's lacking in the looks and personality department and we don't have any impression of him since he's had no coverage on the previous shows. I fear this great performance, coming early in the night, won't be enough to carry him through.

Alexis Grace - "Never Loved a Man"

Alexis is cute as a button, but I feel she is trying too hard to get "the look" the judges want her to have. She is coming off like a cross between Nikki McKibben and Amy Winehouse and Gwen Stefani. This was definitely a good performance although I didn't feel she was really feelin' the song, and I was less enthused than the judges who slobbered all over her. Simon delivered the coveted comparison to Kelly Clarkson that will no doubt have her sailing through to the next round.

Brent Keith - "Hicktown"

Brent is cute, but this was pretty standard country fare and unlikely to help him stand out. The judges felt he didn't showcase his range. He also perhaps studied with Chikezie since he too talked back to the judges too much, which is never appealing.

Stevie Wright - "You Belong With Me"

Aww, poor Stevie. I was rooting for her. I think she has a good vibe. But this teenybopper song did nothing for her. It was a very generic song and she struggled with it and seemed nervous. Maybe she has enough teen fans to carry her through, but I'm gonna doubt it. I'm sending her a virtual hug.

Anoop Desai - "Angel of Mine"

Ahh, Anoop. I dig this guy. He's handsome in a gawky way and oh-so-likable. However, this was a bizarre song choice. The chorus basically reduced him to a backup singer harmonizing type role, and it seemed awkward. He was also guilty of talking back to the judges. He's definitely popular but this bad song choice may keep him out of tonight's top 3.

Casey Carlson - "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"

Casey really seemed to be trying too hard. I didn't expect to bring up Nikki McKibben twice in this blog post, but Casey's winking and face pulling certainly recall the cheesiness of Nikki. She was all over the place on this one and the song was just way bigger than her, as the judges all pointed out. That being said, she's freakin' beautiful, and thus she may get a pass.

Michael Sarver - "I Don't Wanna Be"

Hmm, not sure about this one. Michael is one of my favorites. He's got that Matt Rogers / Sundance Head big cuddly bear appeal. However, this song didn't really suit him, and he looked kind of silly trying to dance. Also, this song was delivered by Bo Bice in one of the all-time great Idol performances, so that is a hard thing to live up to. Still, Michael proved he can sing, and he has a ton of likability, so I predict he will be in the top three. Possible note of concern: his mother's extremly long hair and long skirt made her look like a member of the "Big Love" polygamy cult, but they're probably just Pentecostal.

Ann Marie Boskovich - "Natural Woman"

She's an attractive girl but this performance was shouty and boring to me. Once again, a bad song choice. These kids are overreaching by taking on icons. It smacks of desperation.

Stephen Fowler - "Rock With You"

I really objected to this guy being in the Top 36 after his complete meltdown in the solo audition where he forgot his words and stalked away from his piano. He blew his second chance here, fumbling around the notes on this MJ classic. He did hit an impressive high note, but the song choice was just so very, very wrong. I felt kind of bad for him that his wife didn't come support him in the studio and he had no other family or friends there. But maybe they all told him he was crazy to sing Michael Jackson.

Tatiana Del Toro - "I'm Saving All My Love For You"

Only Tatiana could make this song sound like the anthem of a stalker, with her creepy intensity. She did tone it down a bit but a few hysterical giggles came out during her post-song interview. She also came off very defensive, stating that her friends said her Hollywood Week behavior was very uncharacteristic. The girl can sing, and she handled this song okay, and obviously it ain't easy to sing Whitney. However her personality is so grating that I can only imagine her getting through to the next round by "Vote for the Worst" efforts.

Danny Gokey - "Hero"

Ahh, Danny - cute, likable, good singer, and touching backstory. No wonder the Idol producers love him so much that they let him sing last and the judges (other than Simon) fell all over themselves praising him. Let's just give him the golden ticket to the Top 12 right now, shall we? Sarcasm aside, Danny did turn in a very good performance. He's like a mix of Joe Cocker and Eliot Yamin and I love the soulful gravel in his voice. He took on a very tough song and, unlike many of tonight's puffed-up contestants, he made the song his bitch.

Predictions

Top Boy - Danny Gokey
Top Girl - Alexis Grace
Third Top Finisher - Michael Sarver

DVD Review: Hall and Oates Live at the Troubadour

2009-02-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

A review of the DVD release - Hall & Oates: Live at the Troubadour (2008)

Nerdia

Let me start by saying that I was encouraged to watch this new Hall & Oates concert DVD after I saw their Daily Show spoof of Hannity and Colmes recently.

Even though it was odd that they were introduced as “the best selling rock duo of all time,” a claim also made on their DVD…I thought “here’s a band that doesn’t take itself too seriously to redo the song “She’s Gone” to mock that Republican-obsessed TV program.

But unless you like to hear jaunty, high-energy 80s pop tunes dirged out into lullabies, this DVD may not for you.

Hell, we did aerobics to Hall & Oates in the 80s, their songs had so much kick. The arrangements and performances on this DVD seemed very tired. And yet…their vocals still sound great, which makes the show seem all the more disappointing and the “best selling” accolade all the more deflated.

Daryl’s face looks very pinched and his style of squinting when he sings doesn’t age so well. He looks like he’s had an allergic reaction to a cat. Keep in mind he did have an attack of Lymes disease in 2005, which may explain his look and low energy level.

I, myself, love older H&O tunes like “She’s Gone” and “Rich Girl” (my last favorite was “You Make My Dreams Come True”), while Coolia liked the later 80s tunes such as “Family Man,” “Maneater” and “Out of Touch.”

Their early album Abandoned Luncheonette was mentioned (from where “She’s Gone” came) during the show which made me wonder if this was the album they were promoting during their earlier Troubadour show they mention fondly. It’s hard to know because their between-song banter was sketchy and cryptic.

We love to make light of Oates as the lesser in the duo but his one solo of the show “Had I Known You Better” we all liked. Daryl did a solo song called “Cab Driver” and he spoke about a concert he did at his house: liveatdarylshouse.com.

But all in all, I got no sense of these performers’ personalities. They were like cardboard cut-outs of Hall & Oates.

Almost every song was drawn out to a tedious duration with insufferable scatting from Daryl and therefore, every song of this two hour show, from “You Make My Dreams Come True” to “Sara Smile” sounded exactly the same, which bored the hell out of us.

Coolia

I enjoyed H&O when I saw them in concert at the Beacon Theater in NYC, probably close to 10 years ago. That show was electric and showcased their great pop melodies and many hits. As Nerdia said, this all-acoustic show was a bit of a snoozer. Typically, in a live show, the artists may do a brief acoustic interlude, which always makes for a nice change. But 2 hours of acousticness tends to just drone on and on.

The concert wasn't filmed with much visual flair, and there's no use of video or images other than shots of the band. So this adds to the sameness vibe. I was also distracted by the saxophone player who had creepy long hair and whose personality just grated on my nerves for some reason. It's not really rational but I found myself reacting negatively whenever they showed him - and they showed him a lot. On the other hand, some other band members got very little camera time at all.

Daryl still sounds great, but I found myself missing his proud mullet of the 80s. He has midwestern mom hair now. Oates was never a looker, and reminds me of Epstein from Welcome Back, Kotter, but he's very fit. He still doesn't have that much to do. Remember him in their 80s videos, doing cartwheels in the background, like as if to say, "notice me dammit!" As Nerdia mentioned, his solo tune is worth a download.

I still love hearing their hits, and I can imagine myself putting this DVD on for background as I blog or read. It's not really compelling enough to watch on its own, but it's ear-pleasing.

Buy the DVD on Amazon

Carrot Top Romance?

2009-01-30T15:08:00.000-08:00

Perhaps Luxor should rethink it's advertising strategy. I received this email ad today and was following along, getting in a romantic mood...chocolate-covered strawberries...romance kit...and then...25% off Carrot Top tickets?? Carrot Top and words like "Sexy" and "Seductive" should never be in the same ad. Now I'm picturing the romance kit will be full of giant inflatable props and the only strawberry I can see is his flamin' red hair. Ugh.

Acrostic Movie Review - Revolutionary Road

2008-12-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

Cutest couple ever to freeze to death in the
Ocean, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio
Now reunite in Revolutionary Road, the
New film by Sam Mendes in which Sam
Envisions Suburbia to be soul-
Crushing and stifling
Though he already made that point
In the brilliant American Beauty.
Considering themselves above it all,
Unusual, and meant for something better,
The Wheelers come up with the

Inspired plan to chuck Frank's job and their
Sweet home on Revolutionary Road, and hop the

Transatlantic ship to Paris. April will work so
Her hubby can have some time to find himself.
Everyone in the audience knows how unlikely

This plan is to happen, but we suffer along with
It, and it's not really suffering since
The performances are strong. Winslet
And DiCaprio still have great chemistry, and
Nosy neighbor Kathy Bates also shines. Yet, for some reason,
It's tough to care about these
Characters, and that sinks this artful film.

Hail Meryl! Doubt Screening with the Stars

2008-11-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

My bf invited me to an industry screening of Doubt recently, held at the Academy of Motion Pictures. As a recovering Catholic, I was very interested in seeing the film - and ecstatic at the prospect of seeing the stars in person as they were doing a Q&A.

There was a long line to get in and I almost whipped out my rosary to pray that we'd get seats. I saw Sally Field waiting in line too. Stars - they're just like us!

Fortunately, we got seats and were ushered into the huge theater. There were giant Oscar statues on stage, and Oscar winners waiting in the wings. The movie was really good, if not quite Best Picture material (see review). Meryl's performance did conjure up some scary memories of Our Lady of Good Counsel grade school for me (that's a shout out to you, Sr. Mary Michael). Philip Seymour Hoffman was a very convincing priest. Amy Adams was okay, if a bit generically Pollyanna-ish. Viola Davis was a revelation. Her scene with Meryl is like a steel cage match, and she steals it. I bet she'll get nominated for Best Supporting Actress for just that one scene.

The Q&A was really entertaining. Streep, Hoffman, Adams, Davis, and the writer/director John Patrick Shanley formed the panel. It was exciting to see them in person. They seemed very relaxed and joked a lot. Adams and Davis talked about how they campaigned hard for their roles. Adams said her former co-star Emily Blunt suggested she go for the role. Davis said she practiced her scene for 3 months before auditioning, and it definitely shows.

Shanley talked about the challenges involved in adapting his play for the screen. There are no children in the play, but they were added for the film. The world was fleshed out more, however the film still feels like a play because so much of it is face-to-face confrontations. The cast talked about the intense rehearsal process. Issues of race and sexism are prominent in the movie and were discussed in the Q&A. The film gives the viewer a lot to ruminate on.

Streep is self-effacing and charming in person and still strikingly beautiful. Hoffman looked dissheveled but, well, I'd still do him. He was the only cast member who hung around after the Q&A to mingle with the mostly-washed masses. I wanted to approach and compliment his performance. Having had an uncle who was a priest, I think I'm a good judge of the performance, and he really had the mannerisms and persona down well. But I chickened out. What can I say - I don't have Sr. Aloysius' moxy.

Acrostic Movie Review - Doubt

2008-11-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

Doubting isn't
Acceptable in
Religious life, but sometimes it's hard to
Keep the faith when sinister suspicions arise and

Kids are potentially in danger. John Patrick Shanley
Nicely adapts his play for the screen, coaxing
Inspired performances from Streep, Hoffman, a scene-stealing Viola Davis.
Gut-wrenching drama ensues when Streep's tough nun
Has to confront Hoffman's affable priest
To determine if he's doing evil.

Of course, the movie
Fails to differentiate filmically from a play and gets a

Tad claustrophobic with so many tight,
Heated confrontations. Also, Meryl's Bronx accent is
Excessive. Must she always be acting in tongues?

Still, the film soars
On great performances and will be represented on Oscar night,
Up there with Batman. It's
Like a...

Joe the Plumber - Real Horrorshow

2008-11-02T18:23:00.000-08:00

This past Thursday, Nerdia, C. Crumpet Swank, and myself attended a Lucio Fulci horror film marathon sponsored by The Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theater. Fulci's Italian horror movies are cult classics. We skipped the first movie Zombie, but we loved the second film Gates of Hell. It was packed with laughs due to the bad dubbing/strange dialogue and packed with stomach-churning, squirm-inducing moments of indescribable gore (such as the girl who vomited up all her internal organs). But nothing could have prepared us for the sheer election-related horrors of the night's final film - The Beyond.

The plot of The Beyond involves a woman who inherits a dilapidated motel in Louisiana. Wouldn't you know it - there's a gateway to hell in the basement of the motel. Geez, there sure seem to be a lot of those gateways. The movie has some great gory moments but is most notable for its eerie references to the election. Firstly, there's a character named John McCabe. Next, when the basement is flooded, help is called. A truck arrives labeled "Joe's Plumbing." Joe investigates the bathroom flood only to find some sort of demon who kills him. Then folks in the cast wonder aloud, "Where did Joe the Plumber go?" Watch Joe's grisly demise on YouTube.

Finally, the film opens with a flashback to townsfolk pulling a suspected warlock out of Room 36. They take him to the basement, where they beat him with chains, crucify him, then throw acid on him. There are several shots in the film of the cursed room 36. John McCain was born in 1936. Coincidence? The stuff nightmares are made of? Let's hope our national nightmare ends on Tuesday. Go Barack the vote!

Jimmy Buffett Sails Into Google

2008-10-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

Being on the Authors @ Google team is my favorite part of my job. It's a great team of literary and music-lovin' folks who, in addition to their regular jobs, work on bringing in writers, musicians, scientists, politicians, and all sorts of notable folk to give talks.

The team at our headquarters in Mountain View hosted an event so big that I was compelled to fly up from LA on my own dime to be there: Jimmy Buffett! Buffett was in town for a show at Shoreline Ampitheater and accepted an invitation to come to Google, and as a long-time Parrothead I had to be there.

Charlie's Cafeteria was packed for the 10am event, and 10am is pretty early on Google time. Jimmy took the stage and I was surprised at his diminutiveness. I'd guess he was about 5'6" but he still seems larger than life. He looked very fit and tan. He was wearing an Izod polo and tan pants...and...shoes! He told us he dressed up for us by wearing long pants.

Buffett began by talking about his love of Google. He has Google stock, loves Google Maps, the Google homepage, likes Googling to help find song rhymes and references. He also said he was a fan of the Google culture, specifically bringing dogs to work and dressing casual.

He took off his shoes and brought two members of his Coral Reefer band - Mac MacAnally and Nadira Shakur - on stage to perform a few songs acoustically. They sounded great on "Come Monday," which Jimmy said he had written at a motel in nearby Milipitas as an ode to San Francisco. Next up was "Son of a Son of a Sailor", which has always been one of my favorites, and was enhanced with Shakur's vocal. Finally, he played the national anthem "Margaritaville" including the lost verse. It was a more subdued crowd than he was used to, I'm sure, but an appreciative one nonetheless. Click the pic below to see Jimmy singing the lost verse.

From Jimmy Buffett at Google

After the performance, he took questions from the crowd. When one googler asked how he balanced his work and family, Buffett called on his daughter Savannah Jane to answer. She said he had always made sure to make pancakes for the kids when he wasn't on tour, and that she appreciated the time he spent with her and her siblings. In talking about things that surprise him, Buffett mentioned a Margaritaville had opened up in Dubai. When he went over there for the opening he also played for some Navy troops who came to Dubai on R&R.

The event lasted about an hour, and then Buffett hung around and signed autographs and posed for photos. One googler had him sign his laptop, which was already adorned with parrot stickers. After being a parrothead for almost 20 years and seeing about 10 concerts (including a Today Show concert and a small benefit show at Sag Harbor), I was psyched to get my pic with him. He couldn't have been more gracious and friendly.

He got a campus tour and watched some demos and then enjoyed the special Margaritaville-themed lunch in Charlie's Cafe. I'm told he had a cheeseburger, of course. We sent him home with a new Google phone. Hey googlers, if the phone doesn't ring, it's Jimmy!

Check out all my photos and videos from the event.

Recapping The Hills - Who to Choose?

2008-10-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Uh-oh, someone let Audrina in the main house again. She goes into LC's room and tells her she spent the weekend with Cory the Aussie. Audrina says Justin Bobby is paying more attention to her now that she's got another man. "I dont know. He's a weird one. I don't get him, " Audrina says, mastering the obvious. Justin Bobby is, essentially, unknowable.

Spencer summons Steph to his coffeehouse. He complains about Heidi's mom bitching him out and about Holly living with them. "I can't even imagine disliking a sister more. That should make you feel good, " Spencer says. "That's like a demented compliment, but thanks," says Steph, queen of low expectations. Steph cautions that he can't go to war with her family but Spencer has already launched some nukes.

Over at People's Revolution, Whitney and LC are hanging up clothes again. LC invites Whitney to a BBQ in Malibu because the show is like Groundhog Day. LC says she doesnt know if Audrina will bring Justin Bobby or Cory to the BBQ. LC admits she would prefer it to be Cory.

Audrina appears to be in nice restaurant with Cory, except he's wearing a Red Bull baseball cap backwards. She invites him to the Malibu BBQ.

LC is delighted to find Audrina and Cory in her kitchen after a night of wild passion. They talk about their excitement for the BBQ. They go to BBQs every week. How is this one going to be more exciting than the last?

Over at Spencer's and Heidi's, Spencer demands that Heidi not invite her sister to brunch. He then gives Heidi the ultimatum - either Holly moves out or he moves out. When Spencer says that Holly is imposing on them, Heidi reminds him that he lived with his sister for two months. Oh snap!

The BBQ is at a mansion I've been to! OK, it wasn't for a party but I was looking at it as a possible location for the Google summer picnic (but we decided the cliffside location wasn't so good for small kids). Audrina and Cory cuddle in the pool. Frankie, Doug, and Brody show up, and Frankie and LC bicker over whether Frankie should invite "his boy" Justin Bobby to this BBQ. It looks like Frankie has vitiligo, but maybe he's just peeling. Hmm, I guess a lot has changed since Justin Bobby didn't speak to any of the gang at social gatherings. Frankie wants to know if Cory or Justin Bobby are going to Cabo - or both! Whitney looks bored, like she'd rather be conversing with Andre Leon Tally. Frankie tells Audrina that Brody invited Justin Bobby to Cabo. Awkward stares all around.

Audrina and LC take their dog accessory for a hike at Runyon Canyon. "My gosh you're like juggling men," LC says, regarding the Justin Bobby and Cory triangle. LC puts in a vote for Cory.

Heidi tells Holly that she's picking Spencer over her. Holly worries she'll be out on the street with a shopping cart. "I can't figure out your life for you," Heidi says. Holly doesn't understand why it has to be an ultimatum, and neither do I.

Justin Bobby and Audrina drink wine poolside, and Justin Bobby encourages Audrina to swim. He then says he'll only get in if she takes off her top and swims to the other side so he can chase her. Audrina does as she's told. Audrina brings up Cabo and Justin Bobby says he's going to get in trouble in Cabo. "It's on," he says. Audrina admits she cares if Justin Bobby bangs other girls. She looks like she wants to cry but then cuddles with him anyway. What can you say - chicks dig bad boys.

Acrostic Movie Review - The Secret Life of Bees

2008-10-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Here's a rare film with a mostly-female and black cast, based
On Sue Monk Kidd's hugely popular
Novel and faithful to it. Dakota Fanning,
Evolving into a teen, does a convincing job as Lily, a runaway
Yearning for closure with her late mother. Lily becomes

Indebted to four black women, surrogate motherhood by committee. Do
The real Fanning girls even have so many nannies? The movie is
Somewhat melodramatic and slides into Lifetime movie mode, but it

Succeeded in
Tugging at my heartstrings. There's
Inspired acting from Jennifer Hudson and Queen Latifah. As the
Childlike May, Sophie Okonedo really shines. Alicia
Keys is like a Black Panther in training, but
You know her bravado will be melted by the winsome Lily.

Set in the south during the civil rights era, the threat of
Wicked racial violence hangs over the film and
Endangers the characters. As chick flicks go, it's not as
Entertaining as Sex and the City or as powerful as
The Color Purple, but it gives you more to chew on.

Recapping the Hills - If She Never Met Spencer

2008-10-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

Lo is helping LC with her homework by cutting pictures out of magazines. That was my homework once too - in 3rd grade. LC invites Lo to have a drink with Holly, Heidi's sister. LC says she's worried that Holly is trying to get her and Heidi back together. "Well, drinks are harmless," says Lo. Spoken like a true Hills girl!

Audrina and Chiara have lunch at Epic, and Audrina says she's excited about a date with a new guy - Colin. "Justin...whatever...I don't have a ring on my finger," Audrina says. I'm kinda liking the new aggressive Audrina, even if her sentence structure resembles Sarah Palin's.

Holly and Heidi have lunch. Heidi starts to fake cry, lamenting her lost best friend LC. Holly suggests that Heidi write LC a letter. Sounds like a good job for Heidi's assistant.

Colin and Audrina have dinner. Colin says his first job in LA was Bull Operator at the Saddleranch. Insert your own joke here. Audrina says her drink is too strong, because she probably hasn't eaten anything all day. Audrina complains that Justin gets angry when he's drunk, but Colin says he's a happy drunk. He also thinks Audrina has beautiful eyes and asks her for a second date in the middle of the first.

Holly meets Lo and LC at S Bar. Holly says she and Heidi had grown apart during The Spencer Years. LC says, "It's water under the bridge but things have changed and it's done." I guess it's not really water under the bridge then, is it?

LC and Whitney are at work, and LC lets Whitney read the apology letter she got from Heidi so that it can be on TV. The letter seems to have no polysyllabic words. LC wonders, "why now?" and "even after all this time, she still can't blame Spencer?"

Audrina meets Colin for their 2nd date. Audrina says she was up late talking to Justin. Colin calls her out for bringing up Justin on both dates, which she should know from reading Cosmo is Dating Faux Pas #1 - don't talk about your ex. Audrina admits she still has feelings for the enigmatic, rogueish Justin Bobby.

Holly comes over to visit LC. Holly asks if LC got the letter and LC says it basically just said sorry (again). LC says she already accepted the apology a long time ago. LC says maybe they could be friends again but she can't ever be civil to Spencer. Looks like Heidi may have to make a Sophie's Choice.

Audrina and LC sit by the pool. Audrina says Colin was a momentary distraction but not dysfunctional enough to replace Justin. LC says, "Where do you think we'd all be if Heidi had never met Spencer." Audrina says, "I think it would be totally different." LC says, "Isn't that weird to think about? How one person coming into someone's life can change everything?" This is practically a Socratic dialogue by Hills standards. I reflect on how many hours of my life I'd have back if I'd never stumbled upon Laguna Beach.

Audrina goes out with Justin and tells him that she went out with Colin and that Colin is a nice guy. "Nice is good...nice gets you far...he went so far, but he's not here," Justin says, smugly.

Holly and Heidi talk and Heidi says it's up to LC to rekindle the friendship. Spencer interrupts them, and Heidi admits writing the letter. He wants to know why Heidi is keeping secrets from him. Holly tries to interject but Spencer shushes her and Heidi yells at him. In typical controlling fashion, Spencer says he doesnt want Heidi to have LC as a friend (or any friends at all!). The preview for next week shows him locking her up in a tower where she will have to escape by making a rope out of her hair extensions.

Meeting Jonathan Hart

2008-10-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

I can cross another childhood crush off the list, as I got to meet Robert Wagner tonight. I grew up watching Hart to Hart. I told RJ the show made me want to move to LA. I wanted to cruise around in a convertible Mercedes with the license plate "2 Harts" just like Jonathan and Jennifer...and now I do, except it's a convertible Audi sans vanity plate. RJ was so dashing and handsome on that show, and, heck, he still looks great at age 78.

To promote his new memoir Pieces of My Heart, RJ appeared for a talk and signing at the Santa Monica Public Library. The talk was really fun because it was a conversation with his daughter Katie. His daughter Natasha was also in the crowd. Katie teased her dad about all the girls he's loved before, including the big revelation that he had a 3-year love affair with Barbara Stanwyck long before it was cool to date a cougar. They also talked about his great love - Natalie Wood - how they met when she was 18, married young, divorced, remarried, and the tragic accident. Natasha asked a question about how her dad managed to keep in touch with people over the years and be such a good friend who called his friends often. He replied that it was just due to putting in the effort. Katie reminded Natasha that their dad was one of the first people in LA to have a car phone.

RJ talked a lot about the importance of mentors in his life, including David Niven, Laurence Olivier, and Paul Newman. He was generous with his time, putting up with some crackpot questions from the audience. One guy asked why after all his years of looking impeccable and clean-shaven, RJ would allow a stubbly pic of himself to be on his book cover. The guy wouldn't let it go and said he disliked how everyone was stubbly in movies today. RJ simply said it was a picture taken on the set of The Longest Day that his daughter Courtney had suggested he use, and that it represented a time when he was in a lot of emotional turmoil due to the first break up with Natalie. I think it's a very striking photo, probably because it does seem slightly out of character (but still dashing!).

Another person in the audience brought up something that had always bothered me: how did the Harts manage to attract more friends since one of their friends died in every episode of Hart to Hart. RJ laughed and said it was quite lonely after a while since everyone was wary of befriending them. He also pointed out that it was odd that Max didn't have a room - or at least, it was never shown on the show.

There was also a sweet question from the audience, where a gal got up and said it was refreshing to see a loving couple like Jonathan and Jennifer on TV in an era of a lot of soap opera style feuding. RJ said the network always wanted more conflict on the show but they refused to cave in and kept calling each other "darling."

RJ signed books and posed for photos, chatting with everyone and being very gracious. I have to agree with Max. He's quite a guy!

Edgar Meets McCanine

2008-10-01T02:05:00.000-07:00

Watch what happens when Edgar gets a new chew toy. Video seems to only play in Internet Explorer or Safari.

Recapping The Hills - Don't Act Innocent

2008-09-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

LC and Whitney are at the gym, and LC is not punching very hard. "Come on, LC, imagine the pads are Jason's face!" yells the trainer, in my dream. LC tells Whitney about Steph and Doug going out. The trainer, whose opinion nobody asked, thinks that Steph should have asked permission first. Can someone please start a facebook group and call it "People who think Steph should have asked LC's permission before going out with Doug"?

Steph and LC meet up at Fashion School. Painful looks are exchanged. LC brings up the date with Doug. Steph says Doug used her to get back at LC. Steph then says she's going to Doug's party. "You deleted him from your phone but you're going to his party?" LC asks, incredulous. "No, no, this was like weeks ago before I was even friends with him," Steph says. LC and I both go, "huh?" Steph made about as much sense as Sarah Palin in that Katie Couric interview.

Heidi's sister Holly flies in their mother as a birthday surprise for Heidi. Heidi probably would have preferred a pair of Jimmy Choos. Heidi's mom says she was disappointed she had to find out from Holly that Spencer had moved back in. An awkward confrontation takes place in front of Spencer.

Steph and Doug meet for a drink. Steph worries that Brody will be mean to her at Doug's party. Doug thinks Steph worries too much. It's then implied that they are going to Doug's to watch a DVD. Oh my!

Over at Peoples Revolution, LC and Whitney pose by a rack of clothes. LC tells Whitney about Steph's strange denial of Doug. LC says Whitney should come to Doug's BBQ so she can meet Doug. "You'll hate him!" she says, giggling.

Cut to an establishing shot of Doug's Hollywood Hills home, obscured by three black SUVs. Brody teases Doug for being shady. Doug says Steph is the one coming on to him with text messages like: "come over late tonight and watch a movie." Doug says he hopes Brody won't make Steph cry, but Brody won't make any promises.

Spencer and Heidi's mom go to lunch. Heidi's mom says she thinks Spencer is pressuring Heidi into cohabitating. "I think you're very controlling and manipulative," Heidi's mom says, and then adds, "condescending, rude and hostile." If she would have thrown in "physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, and you smell", it would have been a true shout-out to Cher in Witches of Eastwick. Go Heidi's Mom!

We're at Doug's BBQ and I wonder if this is really a new party or just scenes from all the other BBQs spliced together. There's the usual gratuitous shot of Audrina's breast implants. Doug dives in, splashing LC and Whitney. Brody confronts Steph. Steph denies trying to date Doug. Whitney tells LC it's inappropriate for Brody to yell at Steph. LC thinks she might walk home to get away from the overwhelming awkwardness, however I'm sure she didn't bring her hiking boots.

Heidi and her mom go to lunch. I'm finding Heidi's platinum blond hair blinding in this episode. I put on sunglasses during her scenes. Heidi's mom shares how hurt she was and says she thinks Spencer is trying to break up the family, and then she cries. Heidi's mom sniffles, "Maybe I'm being too controlling. I just want you to be happy." Heidi looks confused, probably because she wouldn't know happy if it came up and bit her on the ass at Area.

Back at Doug's BBQ, Brody uses the word "shady" to describe Steph for the twentieth time. Steph sits in a room that appears to be a Doug Shrine, where she can overhear the conversation outside as Doug says he wasn't trying to date her and that he felt sorry for her because she was like "a lost puppy." LC thinks Doug is over-apologizing if he really did nothing wrong. Doug calls LC an ex-fling, and she gets up and leaves in a huff.

Steph cries to LC. Steph says she can't hang out with the group anymore because Brody is all mean to her. Steph lies to LC again about not being into Doug, and I'm wondering if she is channeling Jon Lovitz's chronic liar character. LC stalks off, leaving Steph in tears. Drama!

LOL Edgar - The Baby

2008-09-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

Recapping The Hills - Lo and Audrina: New BFFs

2008-09-22T23:42:00.000-07:00

This week's episode begins with Audrina actually in the front house, helping LC pack for a trip to Italy. She and Lo say they will be bonding in LC's abscence. Wow, I guess that make-up conversation between LC and Audrina where nothing much was said but there were a lot of blank looks and running mascara really did change things!

Steph comes over to see Audrina and says that Doug has asked her on a date. Audrina advises Steph to ask LC's permission before going on the date, but Steph retorts, "Um, how would she find out? (blank stare). Audrina pauses with a blank stare and says "I don't know." Hello, people, everything you do is recorded for this major hit television show - Lauren could quite possibly find out!

Meanwhile at Bolthouse, Heidi tells her only friend Kimberley that she's going to bring Spencer to their X Games party where she will be pretending to work. "Like, we can stay in when we're old," Heidi says.

Lo and Audrina have lunch at Fred Segal. I have a quick fantasy about the ivy on the wall swallowing them up. After the big decision of what club to go to that evening is made (Goa wins), Audrina tells Lo about Steph and Doug. "Why would you want sloppy seconds?" Audrina says, in an unusually catty moment. Apparently, Lo is already having an influence on her.

As usual, since LA seems to only have 3 clubs, Heidi and Spencer show up at Goa where Lo and Audrina are hanging out. Audrina tells Heidi about Doug and Steph. Heidi is all outraged and says she would never do that to her friend and that there are a hundred million guys in this city. That's true, Heidi, so go find a decent one! Lo tries to bury her scowl in her appletini during this exchange, but it remains quite visible.

Steph talks about her dilemma with Spencer who gleefully tells her that LC will freak out and cut her off. At the X Games party, Audrina and Justin Bobby hang with Spencer and Heidi. Spencer tries to make conversation by stating that "The Dark Knight" should have been called "The Joker." Wait, aren't they looking for a replacement for Roger Ebert? Alert the media. Audrina wants to talk about Steph and Doug again because she can only fit one thing in her brain per episode. Audrina suggests she and Heidi should do lunch and continue reconciling. Who is being more duplicitous: (a) Steph, (b) Audrina, (c) Both - they're just using LC to be on TV.

Doug and Steph go to dinner. Doug says he didn't tell Brody they were going out, and Steph says she didn't tell LC because LC is in Italy and she wouldn't know what to do if someone answered the phone and said "Pronto." Because there are only 5 restaurants in LA, Brody's mom happens to be at this very same restaurant - uh oh, busted! I guess it's true that LA can be a small town. I mean, I have seen Ron Jeremy out at clubs twice.

At Epic, Audrina has coffee with Chiara and talks about bonding with Lo. She then tells Chiara about Doug and Steph. Who's left for Audrina to tell? Perez Hilton? "It's just crazy that all this is happening while Lauren is gone," Audrina says. Either that, or it's in the script.

LC returns to find Audrina in the front house again. LC has coordinated blue wayfarers to match her tank top. LC does her best not to react to the news of Audrina hanging out with Heidi. Audrina tells LC about Doug and Steph. A cock crows. LC looks dismayed.

LC and Brody go to dinner. Brody reports that Doug claimed to be out at a business dinner on the night he took Steph out, and that he found out the truth from his mom. Brody gloats about being right about Steph being nefarious, grinding salt in LC's wound before saying "I just don't want to see you get hurt." Brody calls Steph "shady", recalling the time LC yelled at her ex-friend Jen Bunny for kissing LC's then-boyfriend Brody, "You did something shady." OK, I'm embarassed I just made that connection.

Meanwhile, in other Hills news, TMZ informed us that the newest additions to Wolfgang Puck's gallery of star photos (all taken by "warts and all" photographer Martin Scholler) at his restaurant CUT were none other than Heidi and Spencer. So one wall has Jack Nicholson and George Clooney and another wall has these two? I guess you'll know when you haven't been given a good table.

Nelly's Late, Late Show

2008-09-22T22:25:00.001-07:00

Last Monday, I caught Nelly's show at the House of Blues. I'm sorta old, so I wasn't sure I could do a late concert on a Monday, but because I represent the STL, I had to be there. As I was out of Pimp Juice, I had to fuel up on Red Bull. The ticket said the show would start at 11pm, but I knew midnight was more likely. I showed up around 11:45pm to find the place only about half full. Gradually, it filled up and people began to get restless. Nelly and the St. Lunatics finally took the stage around 12:30 AM. Damn, Nelly! You made us wait 4 years for this new album and you're still making us wait!

They woke us right up with a quick rendition of "Party People". Nelly was looking super-fit and hot, wearing jeans, two tank tops, sideways baseball cap and shades. He delivered a fast-paced set, clocking in at nearly 2 hours, and giving the crowd just about every track from his new album Brass Knuckles and most of his old hits. A lot of the hits were delivered in abbreviated style, almost medleys, but with extra energy to make up for less length.

Besides the ubiquitous Lunatics, Nelly brought a few guests. He sang "Who Fucks Wit Me" with Avery Storm, as he does on the album. Avery has a soulful voice and seems pretty fly for a white guy. At one point, a seemingly drunk or high dude in the crowd behind me kept dancing like a maniac and bumping into me. I was annoyed but dismissed it as typical House of Blues behavior. Then I was suprised to see this same hyperactive guy up on stage with the band. Nelly introduced him as Keak da Sneak, one of his rapping idols from the Bay Area. He also let all the Lunatics take turns in the spotlight, especially Murphy Lee who reprised his "Shake Your Tailfeather" hit and spoke about his new album coming soon. Nelly also introduced City Spud. Remember when Nelly used to always wear a bandaid on his face? That was a shout to City Spud who was in jail at the time. When he got released, Nelly retired the bandaid.

Nelly reminded us at least 20 times that Brass Knuckles would be in the store the next day and was so named because it was going to hit us hard. Judging by the songs he played, I'd say the album delivers. I particularly liked "Lie" which he said was about how once in a great while it's the lady's fault when a relationship goes sour. I think "Party People" (featuring Fergie) is a great jam. Then there's the anthemic "Self Esteem" (featuring Chuck D) which gives a positive message but comes off like an imitation of Nas' "I Can." The guest star lineup for the album is impressive: Ciara, Usher, Snoop Dogg, TI, LL Cool J, Ashanti. The song "La" (featuring Snoop), a tribute to all things LA, got much love from the LA crowd.

I've seen Nelly twice before. First was at the outdoor amphiteather in Irvine as part of a rap fest, then headlining at the Gibson Amphiteater when "Sweat / Suit" was released, and this was the first time in an intimate venue. It was definitely the most fun show of the three, probably because it was small, but also because Nelly seems more comfortable in the spotlight and his routines with the Lunatics were really tight.

Nelly saved two big hits for the encore: "Hot in Herre" and "Dilemma". My only disappointment with the show was that he never took his tank top off. Well, he took the top layer off, but kept the white wife beater on, teasing us and disobeying "Hot in Herre"'s oft-repeated command: "It's getting hot in herre, so take off all your clothes." Oh well, I forgive him.

Read my hip hop guide to St. Louis

Here's some pics courtesy of my new iphone...

Nelly, don't go into the light!

Nelly and St. Lunatics imitate NKOTB

Nelly and Keak da Sneak

Nelly and City Spud

Nelly and Ali (of St. Lunatics)

Motley Crue Return to Home, Sweet Home

2008-08-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Another year, another new name for the lower circle of Glen Hell formerly known as the Glen Helen Pavilion and Hyundai Pavilion. It's now called San Manuel Amphitheater. It's still really far away, dusty, and generally unpleasant. I only go there when I'm shaking so bad that I need to mainline some metal. Yes, this is where I've seen umpteen Ozzfests and where I saw KISS.

And last night, I saw Cruefest. Well, I didn't really see the fest. My BF and I had a busy day and a lack of interest in the other 4 bands (apologies to Traptd, Sixx AM, Papa Roach, and Buckcherry), so we showed up just in time for Motley Crue. I learned a big advantage of being late - no more parking attendants. We drove right into the VIP parking area with no charge! Upon reaching security, I was told I could not bring in my Google-branded picnic blanket. I stashed it in a bush but it was gone when we left - oh well, I have plenty of swag.

We navigated through the sweaty, drunken hordes to get a couple beers and find a spot on the lawn. Immediately, we could understand the security guard's concern over the blanket - they can be used to start fires - and there were a couple bonfires raging on the lawn.

The Motley boys came on around 9:30pm and were full of piss and vinegar (and possible other substances). The lights were dazzling and the videos were cool, although being on the lawn I would have enjoyed more video of the band and less produced video. The stage backdrop - large letters resembling the Hollywood sign but spelling out Los Angeles - was cool and earned applause from the Inland Empire fans. They kicked off the show appropriately with "Kickstart My Heart" and kept the crowd jumping with "Wild Side."

From the new album Saints of Los Angeles, they played the title track (and were joined onstage by members of the other Cruefest bands) and "Motherfucker of the Year." I'd say the title track is worth a download - good hook. The band rounded out their set with more hits including "Girls, Girls, Girls", "Shout at the Devil", and "Looks that Kill." Tommy Lee had an entertaining interlude with the titty cam, although he didn't find too many willing participants in the crowd. Vince was in good voice, and the band performed with energy. Even decrepit Mick Mars seemed to be enjoying himself. They closed the show with "Dr. Feelgood" which is still the one that makes us feel all right. We walked back to the car during the encore - "Home Sweet Home" - so I can't say if the brandishing of cigarette lighters for this power ballad may have contributed to more lawn bonfires.

I recommend Cruefest for those who still love 80s glam rock. The boys deliver a sexy, swaggering, screeching good time.

Okay, So International Ghost Hunters Sucks a Little Less This Season

2008-07-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Andy Andrews is really ramping up his bid to be like Grant from the original Ghost Hunters. I like Andy though because I like his protestant go-get-em work ethic and his willingness to pronounce every word so clearly and loudly. However, I do appreciate the many comments from my commentary last season. And I agree, Andy and Robbbbb are still no Jay and Grant. What is it about Jay and Grant? They’re like Siegfried and Roy or somethin. I do appreciate that Jesus is not a main character so far this season, I really do. And I’m cool with Jesus. It's just that I want the adults to hunt ghosts by their own wits is all. Another thing I appreciate: the swapping of Shannon for Dustin. Our couch theory is that Donna threw her weight around behind the scenes to get that taken care of. Dustin’s hat wearing techniques…work…my last….nerve. It’s too much. It’s just too much. Um...is that his pinup shot posted here? But overall, I like his staunch unwillingness to descend into hysteria. Speaking of which, I don’t trust anything that comes out of that Irishman’s camera.

Stan Lee visits Google

2008-07-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, Stan Lee spoke at Google Santa Monica!

It was a thrill to meet this American icon, and he was a great speaker. I'm on the Authors @ Google team, which brings in writers to speak to Googlers. Google buys books for the attendees and puts videos of the talks up on YouTube. A colleague from our headquarters in Mountain View met Stan at a convention and invited him to speak. Stan graciously agreed, provided he could come to Santa Monica since he lives nearby. And so we quickly prepared for our biggest local authors event to date!

I was impressed by how friendly and accessible Stan was, posing for pictures with Googlers (including one in a Spiderman costume) and signing autographs. I was also wowed by his energy and passion for new creative pursuits, given than he's 85 years old. He continues to create characters and develop projects through his new company, POW! Entertainment. Stan presented his new book Election Daze, a collection of wacky captions he wrote for political photos. We had about 75 people locally attend the talk and many more from 10 offices who viewed the talk via videoconference. Stan put up a photo of Obama and allowed Googlers to come up with captions. The winner took home a signed Election Daze publisher proof.

Stan took many questions from the crowd. When asked his favorite movie cameo, he said it was in Iron Man, when he had fun with his resemblance to Hugh Hefner (and got to work with some lovely blonds). He said he had been pleasantly surprised with the success of Iron Man and also approved of the latest Incredible Hulk movie and the Spiderman films. He said he hoped Fantastic Four would get on track in the next movie. He took several digs at rival DC Comics, while admitting if pressed to name a non-Marvel comic character that he liked, he would go with DC's Lobo, which he said was unusually original for them. Stan told us he was a big fan of Google and that he couldn't live without it.

Stan wanted to do a public signing, and since we can't let the masses into our office, I coordinated with the Santa Monica Public Library next door to hold the signing there. While waiting for that event to get started, we got the chance to pose for photos with Stan. My teammate Susanna told Stan, "You're being very gracious and accommodating." He replied, "I tend to be." He was affable and self-effacing. I saw Hancock the night before this event, and it occurred to me that movie probably couldn't have been made without Stan Lee, who first introduced human failings and crises into the superhero psyche.

I recommend Election Daze if you need a laugh in this tiresome election year, and I am grateful to Stan for visiting Google! Check YouTube for a video of the talk - coming soon.

Anvil Rocks!

2008-06-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

I rocked out at the LA Film Festival screening of Anvil last night at the John Ford Amphitheater. It's a documentary about the Canadian heavy metal band Anvil, who have been together 30 years. The theater was sold out for this event, and the crowd was an odd mix of movie geeks and metalheads and one celeb Anvil fan - Scott Ian of Anthrax.

I loved the film! It's This is Spinal Tap meets Some Kind of Monster meets Field of Dreams. The film begins with footage from the early 80s of Anvil during their 15 minutes of fame, playing a huge rock fest in Japan with The Scorpions and Bon Jovi. Frontman Steve "Lips" Kudlow is dressed in bondage gear and playing his guitar with a dildo. His co-founder Robb Reiner (another odd parallel to This is Spinal Tap) pounds the skins. Then we cut to the present, and Lips and Robb are playing gigs to small crowds in local bars and working manual labor jobs. But they still have a dream.

The documentary ranges from hilarious to heartbreaking, often in the same scene, such as a sequence on a European tour gone awry where Lips nearly gets into a fistfight with a club owner in Prague who refuses to pay the band because they started the show late. There are many Spinal Tap moments, including a trip to Stonehenge, a brief search for a new drummer, and several scenes of the band wandering around backstage tunnels looking for the stage. The relationship between Lips and Robb is fleshed out in great detail with moments that show their deep friendship as well as their frustration with each other and their lack of success.

Kudlow is likable, a bit manic, but ultimately endearing because he holds on to his dream, loves his friends and family, and isn't a bit Satanic. And we get sound bites from Anvil fans like Scott Ian, Slash, and Lars Ulrich that emphasize that Anvil's dream was not unrealistic. They are talented musicians with some catchy songs. It's basically a crap shoot as to why they didn't become famous while inferior bands like Great White and Winger did. My best guess would be that Kudlow is a bit too goofy as a frontman. My friend called him "the muppet of heavy metal." He doesn't have the distinctive voice of an Ozzy or the sex appeal of Bret Michaels.

The bulk of the movie covers Anvil's attempts to get money to record their thirteenth album "This is Thirteen" and their efforts to place it with a major label. We end where we began - in Japan - and we feel a bit paralyzed waiting to see if the gig will be a success.

After the film, we were treated to a live performance by Anvil and a Q&A session with the band and the film's director, Sacha Gervasi, who was a teenage roadie for the band during their heyday. Scott Ian came out and joined the band to perform their anthem "Metal on Metal." Anvil looked to be having the time of their lives, playing to the packed and cheering theater. Future plans involve the band and the film touring together. Tour dates will be up soon on the movie website.

Kudlow's and Reiner's friendship and persistence moved me more than I expected, and I left the film feeling touched, rocked, and wanting to kickstart my own dreams. Rock on, Anvil!

Harvey Korman, RIP

2008-05-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

....from Ape Comments written after the first TV Land Awards...

for a long time I’ve been wanting to see Harvey Korman get the recognition he so rightly deserves. I’ve long been miffed about the fact that Tim Conway overshadows Harvey Korman on every reunion of The Carol Burnett Show. Conway even shared the nomination with Harvey Korman in this ‘Second Banana’ category. They are not quite equals in the comedy chops department, however. Tim Conway, although hilarious in his own right, has essentially a smaller bag of tricks. Basically, a bag of baboonery. How many times can he fall up the stairs or mug with absurd idiocy? His Mr. Tudball is the exception that proves the rule: a truly different and defined character. Many of the rest of Conway’s characters are just too similar. They pack a big punch but are basically annoying dolts. Korman, on the other hand, has long been under appreciated for his comedic deftness. His range of emotions and characters span from debonair snob to rural twit to everyday Joe to impersonations of classic movie characters from Little Foxes to Gone with the Wind where he does a very funny Clark Gable. His characters range from upper-class British thespian to the low-brow Ed in the Eunice sketches. Every characterization is flawless. Classic Carol Burnett episodes, of course, include the Conway/Korman crack-up bloopers, but Korman’s stealth art of comedy can be seen in almost every Carol Burnett Show sketch. He didn’t over use the same ole same ole bag of mugs. Tim Conway makes me laugh, no doubt, but Korman was simply more versatile. And he appeared in Mel Brooks movies to boot (see High Anxiety, Blazing Saddles).

American Idol - David vs David

2008-05-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

So, my lack of regular blogging on Idol this season can be chalked up to a couple things: (1) busyness in other areas and (2) watching the show felt like homework this season. And it was homework I wasn't being graded on.

Last season's battle between Jordin and Blake didn't turn me on either. I did enjoy Blake's originality but it's not like I wanted to buy his CD. This season I had nobody to root for once Amanda and Danny were eliminated. I miss the days of Fantasia, when true talent triumphed over packaging (how great was it to see her strutting around that stage like a woman possessed by the spirit of funk with the bright red hair the other week). I miss the goofiness of Taylor Hicks. I miss the wit of Kelly Pickler. And yes, I miss the smoldering looks of Constantine Maroulis.

So let's talk about the finale - the battle of the Davids.

I do like David Archuleta. At times his "oh gosh" Leave it to Beaver manner gets on my nerves, but mostly his humility seems genuine. I think he's got a great voice and good stage presence, though he occasionally looks like a deer in the headlights, or a kid who'd rather just be in the school musical. His performance of Imagine was probably the best performance all season, in my opinion. He's got the perfect teen idol appeal - he's totally ready for the cover of Bop! magazine. He's harmless and cuddly. You kind of just want to poke him in the belly and hear him giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy.

Then there's David Cook. I should like him - after all, he's a "rocker" who hails from the great state of Missouri (like me, Vincent Price, and Scott Backula). But I have found him to be a fake rocker from the get-go. He favors that sludgy rock in the Nickelback, Three Doors Down, Switchfoot vein which I just am not into. Others are - clearly - since these bands do have an audience and Cook garnered 55% of the Idol vote vs 45% for Archuleta. I have found him to be smug throughout the season, as Simon pointed out several times. This could be shyness masked as arrogance, but either way it's unattractive. It does seem odd that the much sexier Michael Johns finished way down in the pack, and Cook survived. The difference, I guess, would be Cook's "original" arrangements. Since Ryan mumbled the introduction "here's David Cook singing Chris Cornell's version of Billy Jean" most viewers felt that David really changed up that song. This isn't David's fault, you might say, but I would argue it was a calculated move to pick an already established unusual version of a song and bank on the fact that most of the audience won't realize you weren't the one who made it funky. But hey, everybody uses whatever tools they have in the game - Brooke turns on the water works, Chikezie tries sass, Kristy Lee dresses like a ho.

To be fair to Mr. Cook, he did have a original version of "Hello", which was good, if you can manage to get the blind girl sculpting Lionel Richie's head in clay out of your head while you listen to it (I couldn't). And his rendition of "The Music of the Night" showed that he does have a nice range and a pleasing tone to his voice. That's fine, but as rockers go, he's not in the Daughtry or Bo Bice league. I guess the good takeaway from this result show it that there is still an audience for rock music and it can triumph over pop treacle.

The two-part finale was awash in a sea of cheese. On Tuesday, the boxing match metaphor was dragged out to death, like a dog collar match between Greg Valentine and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Simon's scorecard had Archuleta as a clear winner in all 3 rounds, and he declared the night a knockout. Note how he backpedalled on Wednesday with the usual "when I heard it back on tape, it sounded different" so that he wouldn't look like he'd made an error when Cook was declared champ. Well, I did watch it on TV, and I thought Archuleta won. His version of "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" was powerful and he managed to bring something new to that old chestnut. Meanwhile, Cook just proved he wasn't Bono on the U2 tune. I'd probably give Cook the edge on the 2nd round battle of terrible Idol singles. Both songs were dreadful, but at least Cook's was a bit catchier. Then the third round - Archuleta smartly reprised Imagine, while Cook trotted out a dated Collective Soul tune "The World I Know" because he wanted to do something new. That song is many things, but it is not new and his rendition didn't freshen it up.

Wednesday's spectacular had some cool moments. I actually enjoyed Brooke White's duet with Graham Nash, even though I usually want to punch Brooke in the face. It was a nice quiet moment. Archuleta sounded glorious on "Apology" (was he telling his overbearing dad "it's too late to apologize...too late"?) and definitely outsang his duet partner in OneRepublic, the cameos by my beloved Matt Rogers and the fresh and funny Michaelah Gordon as commentators.

Low points included, but were not limited to: the shameless plugging of The Love Guru which went on way too long (although that Mariska Hargitay chant is hilarious), Donna Summer being unable to descend a staircase without two attendants (at least pick beefy guys and put them in loincloths and carry her down on a throne if you have to do that), Cook hogging the stage from ZZ Top when he's not worthy to comb their beards, the idol kids being made to dance through Donna Summer and George Michael medleys (Brooke was so awkward, and Amanda scowled all night), Randy's pimp suit, The Jonas Brothers resurrecting the specter of Hanson, and George Michael looking like Dodi Fayed and struggling through one of my favorite tunes "Praying for Time" (he blamed a cold, like so many Idol contestants before him). The inclusion of oldsters like ZZ Top, Donna Summer, George Michael, Bryan Adams only underscores the point that's been made about the dated mentors dragging the show down. Here's hoping they bring in some younger talent next year, although I probably wouldn't tune in to Miley Cyrus night.

In the end at our Idol finale party where we were watching the pre-recorded show, our Tivo cut out right as Ryan said, "and the winner is David--" It's probably just as well. I wouldn't have been too interested in his victory lap or in hearing that Idol single again. Am I done watching Idol? Probably not. I still find it interesting from a cultural studies perspective, even if it rarely produces music I want to buy.

For those of you in LA who want to see a real rocker instead of a fake rocker - Amanda Overmyer is playing the Whisky tonight.

Meet the YouTube Filmmakers...and a Project Runway Legend

2008-05-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

Last night, Google hosted a Meet the YouTube Filmmakers event at the El Rey Theater. This was the second Google party we've thrown at the El Rey (the first being our Old Vegas holiday party in 2006), and they are a great venue to work with!

The program's panelists included YouTube filmmakers Arin Crumley, Javier Prato, M dot Strange, Ben Shelton, and Francis Stokes who talked about their experiences with YouTube and the alternatives it offers for distribution and marketing for independent filmmakers. A couple Google engineers also talked about the behind-the-scenes machinations of the site.

The highlight of the night for me was meeting Vincent Libretti from Project Runway. Vincent was my favorite cast member of his season, and I wrote a tribute to him when he got kicked off. It turns out he's the neighbor of one of my colleagues, who doesn't have a TV so wasn't familiar with the show but thought Vincent was an interesting fellow.

Vincent was super-friendly, and we chatted for a bit about the reality TV experience. It sounds like it was stressful but ultimately worth it. He described many long days and tough working conditions - they were filming in NYC in the summer in un-air-conditioned workspace where the windows had to be kept shut to block the traffic noise for filming - no wonder he had some tantrums! Of course, tantrums make good reality TV. He's developing several new TV projects and still running his store.

We also talked about the everyday woman challenge he won, where the designers had to make clothes for their fellow designers mothers or sisters, many of whom did not look like models. I said the designers acted like designing for plus-sized gals was torture, and he said they were over-reacting and that he felt he was able to win that challenge because he is good at reading people and recognizing their taste and personality.

He laughed when I told him my friends and I still like to quote his catchphrases: "That turns me on!" and "That gets me off!"

I have to say - these Google parties turn me on!

Photos by Brady Walters

American Idol - Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Night

2008-05-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

Performances

David Cook - "Hungry Like the Wolf" / "Baba O'Riley"

I applaud David's good taste in choosing the first tune. I just saw Duran Duran two nights ago at the Nokia Theater and they were awesome! David's arrangement was similar to an acoustic version that D2 put out on a CD single around the period of The Wedding Album. He tried to be sexy but it wasn't really working for me. Still, a good vocal.

Cool 2nd song choice. "Teenage wasteland" is a good metaphor for this show, and it would be something David C can quote when David A beats him in the finale. David is winning me over a bit with this performance. I thought it was a strong vocal and actually a bit sexy when he wasn't really trying to be, unlike the first song where he was trying too hard.

Syesha Mercado - "Proud Mary" / "A Change is Gonna Come"

She looks great in the gold dress, but I'm not seeing this performance as better than any typical Vegas revue. She does exude confidence but still not a lot of personality.

Second song - Another great dress. This was a little dirge-ish until she belted out the final run in true diva fashion. The song choice gave her a bit of gravitas, but it was a bit dull. Paula was right though (for once) - Syesha has grown a lot during this competition.

Jason Castro - "I Shot the Sheriff" / "Mr. Tambourine Man"

Jason does nothing to break from his pothead image by choosing a Bob Marley song. He had a bit more energy than usual. But it made him look very white and a little ridiculous. Wow, the judges were hard on him...sometimes that has the opposite effect and brings sympathy votes.

Second song - more of the usual, Jason and his guitar and no big vocal demands. Apparently he forgot some words but I didn't notice. Well, he's still cute.

David Archuleta - "Stand By Me" / "Love Me Tender"

This was a good song choice for David and his voice sounded very pure and true. He added some runs to make a simple song more challenging. Sometimes I think he looks like he could be a hobbit, but I enjoyed the performance.

Second song - David sang this in a very heartfelt fashion, making eyes at the camera like a presexual Constantine and selling his devotion to every girl in the home audience. He took an old chestnut of a song that typically bores me (and I'm an Elvis fan) and found something new in it. I can't see anybody derailing his train to Idoldom.

Predictions

Seems pretty clear that the judges want Jason gone, and he did little to save himself, although the teens and tweens may still vote in droves for his dreamy eyes. But I think Jason leaves this week, with Syesha in the Bottom 2.

Trippin Out at Pam Anderson's Estate Sale

2008-05-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

Let's dispel those nasty rumors - just because she's having an estate sale doesn't mean Pamela Anderson is dead! She's very much alive and you can go see her this weekend in Malibu and root through her stuff!

When I got the Urban Daddy email yesterday about Pam Anderson's Estate Sale, I knew I had to check it out. Lucky for me, my friend Annie was into the idea as well, so we got up early today and drove up to Malibu High School, the parking area for the sale. Upon arrival, we were met by PAs from the new reality show "Pamela" and a security guard. We were told to leave our cameras in the car and made to sign a waiver agreeing to appear as background people in the TV show. We then boarded a black shuttle van and waited to depart. And we waited 15 minutes or so, until a PA came over and told us there was drama at the house! Apparently the neighbors were complaining about the traffic and about people being made to believe this was Pam's real house. It was just a rental house for the sale. The neighbors feared Pam stalkers would keep coming back and destroy their idyllic existence. So the PAs were being made to put up signs everywhere that said "This is not Pam's real house!" Eventually, the PA got the cue that it was okay to proceed, so our van proceeded on the short drive to the rented house.

Upon arrival, we saw a lemonade stand ostensibly staffed by Pam's and Tommy's offspring, Brandon and Dylan. In reality, a chef was manning the stand while Brandon and Dylan played football with a friend. They are cute kids, rambunctious but well-behaved. Dylan hit me with a spit ball, but apologized, saying he had been aiming for his friend.

We started browsing through the stuff - outside there was a tented area with white shabby chic couches, a ton of shabby chic patio furniture, and a bunch of toys and games. There was also a hot pink Butt Blaster exercise machine. As we were looking at Pam's tools, Pam emerged from the house, wearing short shorts and a t-shirt. She was actually at her own garage sale! She said hello to everyone and the camera crew followed her around as she second-guessed selling certain things. She reclaimed a pair of purple rain boots and put them on. She conferred with her mom, who was also there hanging out.

Inside a large garage, we found a ton of shabby chic furniture. How many armoires can one woman have? There were at least 10 huge ones for sale. An autographed orange life buoy from Baywatch was on a silent auction with a starting bid of $1800 (no bids yet). There were a lot of linens and kitchen stuff. One guy bought Pam's toaster and asked her to autograph it. He said he would be putting it by the autographed microwave he bought at Tori Spelling's sale.

I proceeded into the clothes room where I marveled at the many varieties of hooker shoes, all in size 5 1/2. I wear a size 9, so I could not take home any clear-bottomed platform heels. I then stumbled upon five faux fur coats in different colors and styles. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I could actually fit in one. Maybe it belonged to Kid Rock rather than Pam? Either way, I was getting it, even if it was $150. Hey, all proceeds were going to PETA after all, and I'd been planning to buy one for Burning Man anyway. I also snapped up a fabulous pink and purple boa for $35. The clerk told me it was well-crafted and probably cost Pam $100. I doubt it, but I dig it anyway. Annie bought a little league T-shirt for the Malibu Braves. Brandon's and Dylan's names were on the back and she had them autograph it for her, and Pam signed it too - very cool souvenir!

Outside there was a giant pile of remote controls. I wondered if she had ditched them in favor of a universal remote. There was also a collection of about 25 metal buckets and wash tubs - not sure what that's about. Pam pointed out some kids furniture that she said was purchased for her kids by golfer John Daly. There were some books and CDs - Lots of normal stuff you'd find at any garage sale. In fact, we were struck by how normal Pam and the kids were. She chatted with customers, gladly signed items including underwear, and then dashed off in her Range Rover to take her kids to their baseball game. OK, not everything was normal. There were two gals dressed as chicken showgirls carrying "Boycott KFC" signs. Yes, the day was an odd mix of the surreal and the mundane, and it was all great fun.

Although we couldn't take our cameras to the sale, we did manage to get a photo on the run of Pam driving , as they happened to be heading south on PCH right when we were. Stars - they are just like us! They drive their kids to ballgames! They put items up for sale at yard sales and then have second thoughts and reclaim them! They hire chefs to run their children's lemonade stands!

Anyway, if you want a piece of Pam, be it a chainmail bra or an ice cream scoop, you have one more day to get there!

American Idol - Neil Diamond Night

2008-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Performances

Jason Castro - "Forever in Blue Jeans" / "September Morn"

I'd agree with Simon that Jason just seems to be going through the motions. He didn't put much liveliness into "Forever in Blue Jeans", a song that gets even Neil's fattest and most crippled elderly fans to their feet and dancing. He did a better job with "September Morn" and seemed to be feelin' it. That was a sexy performance. He's still great to look at it, but is that enough?

David Cook - "I'm Alive" / "All I Really Need Is You"

David is looking fugly again, with a hairstyle that makes him look like a Fall Out Boy roadie. Why did he pick such obscure Neil songs? I think he would have done a great job with "Love on the Rocks." His voice is good and I imagine he'll make the Final 2, but I'm not convinced he's really special.

Brooke White - "I'm a Believer" / "I Am I Said"

Simon called Brooke's first performance "a nightmare" and Brooke vigorously shook her head in disagreement. Sorry, Brooke, but Simon is right. It was a terrible karaoke performance and sounded off key, and if the Monkees can sing this, we know it's not a high degree of difficulty. She fared better with "I Am I Said" on the piano, even if she did take Neil's dorky advice to make it her own by changing New York to Arizona (thereby making the line about being lost between two shores as nonsensical as the line about the uncaring chair). At least this song was more in her comfort zone. She seemed to have a bit of twang in her voice tonight, making me wonder if she was grabbing for the Kristy Lee Cook country vote. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

David Archuleta - "Sweet Caroline" / "America"

I loved David's fun version of "Sweet Caroline." He picked probably the most famous Neil song but managed to make it sound fresh, much like he did with "Imagine." And of course, singing "America" is a great strategic move, appealing to the patriotic vote. David seems very drawn to anthemic songs and while he didn't belt this with the passion and "reach for the stars" gesturing of Neil, he did plenty to ensure he'll be back next week.

Syesha Mercado - "Hello Again" / "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime"

Syesha looked really good. I dug her 70s hair. She managed to turn two Neil songs into convincingly Whitney-esque numbers, while leaving me impressed with her technical skill and vocal skills but yawning as the renditions seemed sterile.

Other Comments

Neil Diamond seemed heavily medicated, only really perking up when he got to hug Syesha.

Paula made a huge gaffe, showing confusion at tonight's new format. All the contestants sang their first song without receiving immediate comments. Then they had to line up and hear comments all at once. Paula read off her notes and commented on both of Jason's songs, even though he had only sung once at this point. The looks on Simon's and Ryan's faces were pretty priceless. Simon did his best to cut Paula off and move things along, saving her from having to admit she makes her judgments based on rehearsal takes and spends the actual performance show flirting with Simon while the kids sing their hearts out. The second half of the show returned to the usual format of immediate critique.

I'm hoping for a sing along of "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show" tomorrow night, and maybe a montage of Simon and Paula moments set to "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

Predictions

Bottom 3 will be Jason, Brooke, and Syesha, with Brooke going home. And nobody will care at all, not even the chair.

Artie Lives!

2008-04-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

I fulfilled a long-time dream and saw Artie Lange in concert on Saturday at the Gibson Amphitheater. I was so excited I felt like Eric the Midget flying with balloons! I have had a long-standing fear that Artie would succumb to his self-destructive tendencies and croak before I'd get to see him (see websites like Artie Lange Deathwatch).

As a longtime Stern Show listener, I was a big Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling fan and was skeptical in the beginning about Artie's ability to replace Jackie. It didn't take him long to win me over and he's now my favorite Stern show personality (well, maybe second favorite after George Takei). I like Artie's openness to talk about his lowest points, and I sympathize with his lack of willpower. As a listener, I go along for the roller coaster ride of Artie's life - and lately the ride has been mostly dips such as breaking up with Dana, admitting heroin usage, the flop of Beer League, and Hawaiian Punch/cupcake binges that have led to a huge weight gain.

To get to the show required braving Citywalk. I can figure out why tourists visit Citywalk - the shopping complex attached to Universal Studios theme park - but I can't figure out why so many locals go. The place is always jammed and the narrow streets are further glutted by street performers and large objects jutting out of the facades of the shops. Do Angelenos really want to pay $10 to park just to shop in the sock store and the magnet store? Apparently so. After surviving this walk, I rewarded myself with two beers at dinner.

Upon arriving at the show, we got another beer and a shot of Jack to get into an Artie state of mind. The Bleeding Deacons opened the show. I hadn't heard of them, but I guess they do a lot of parody songs on the Stern show. A hearse parked outside the arena declared them "the most evil band in the land." The only thing really evil about them was the way they hogged the stage. I could have said an entire rosary during their set. I guess their best song was a speed metal cover of "You Gotta Fight for your Right to Party" but I spent most of their set back in the long line for drinks. The crowd was booing them to get off the stage. Artie later said he nearly punched the singer for staying on stage too long, and he declared they would not be opening for him ever again.

Pete Dominick took the stage and turned things around, while I consumed another shot of Jack and another beer. He did a brief but hilarious set, talking about being a bald guy. Next up was Reverend Bob Levy who was completely vulgar and awesome. Then came Greg Fitzsimmons, delivering a blistering set that ended with him berating a heckler and knocking him in the head with his microphone. Nick DiPaolo also came on and didn't impress me too much although to be honest I was drunk enough at this point to be laughing at everyone and everything.

At last, it was time for Artie. Initially, I was shocked by his grubby appearance and extreme girth, but I got over it. To get an idea of the current decline and fall of Artie, watch this clip of him doing a blind cupcake tasting. Artie covered a lot of the usual Stern-related topics in his set and came up with some funny new bits, none of which I remember now due to my Artie-esque inebriation. I know he brought up Henry Hill at one point, and we all braced ourselves for a mob hit that never came. He also brought out George Takei to thunderous applause. Crazy Alice had been promised, but apparently she didn't like the car that was sent for her so decided not to come. Bummer, man. Blue Iris was in the crowd but didn't come up on stage. Apparently, Ryan Philippe was also in attendance, according to today's Stern show discussion.

I love Artie for his humanness, hedonism, and humor. If his life was the game Candyland he's currently stuck in Belushi Bog and in danger of drowning in Farley Falls. I hope he rights his ship, but not all the way.

Recapping The Hills - Forbidden Friendships

2008-04-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight's show opens with a Hollywood street scene and clearly visible is Tommy Wiseau's mug on his perennial billboard for The Room, reminding me that I still need to go see this cult classic. How great would it be to have an episode of The Hills in which Lo, Lauren, Audrina go to this modern-day Rocky Horror and shout out lines.

Lauren invites the She-Pratt to her birthday festivities, but She-Pratt isn't sure she should attend given her divided loyalties. Spencer visits Heidi and inquires if they are still dating or if he can see other people, because, you know, there's a line of girls outside the door waiting to go out with him. Later, She-Pratt berates Spencer for bringing some of his furniture into her condo and for not getting a job. Hmm, maybe she is cool.

She-Pratt shows up at Lauren's bday party and is received by a greek chorus of Lo, Audrina and Whitney making shocked faces right out of Edvard Munch's The Scream painting. Lo doesn't trust She-Pratt, but Lauren is soooo happy they came. Heidi's assistant breaks this news to Heidi, who promptly calls Spencer who describes the She-Pratt as "Brody Jr."

Lauren and Brody have lunch. Brody warns Lauren to be cautious about She-Pratt. Spencer confronts She-Pratt over her duplicity. She-Pratt gets upset, "You're making me cry right now." Spencer retorts, "No, you are making yourself cry because of what you did." Oh, snap.

She-Pratt tells Lauren that Spencer was all mean to her. She-Pratt justifies her friendship with Lauren to Heidi: "We do have fashion in common." Heidi retorts, "Every girl has fashion in common!" Heidi says She-Pratt was like a sister to her, making me think Heidi must mean She-Pratt is like a sister you find out you had when you're already in your 20s who lives in another country and you email sporadically because I haven't seen a ton of closeness between these two.

Next episode...

Whitney and Lauren have lunch. Whitney tells Lauren about her new job, and Lauren pretends to be interested.

Whitney's "Devil Wears Gap" boss Kelly Cutrone calls a meeting about Fashion Week and states that complete devotion and only black clothing is expected of all staff. Whitney comes up with an idea and shows up the chief publicist in front of Kelly. Over at Teen Vogue, Lauren looks longingly at Whitney's empty chair. She takes a break from playing the Virtual Hills to call Whitney who is too busy with Fashion Week to talk to her. Lauren looks sad.

Heidi and the She-Pratt go to a club called Vice. Audrina is there. Heidi brings her breast implants over to meet Audrina. Heidi says she wants to be friends again and there have been times she cried because plastic surgery is painful and she was so alone.

Heidi and She-Pratt go shopping and Heidi tells She-Pratt she wants to be friends with Audrina again. Whitney and Lauren work out and Lauren again pretends to be interested in Whitney's job. She-Pratt tells Lauren that Heidi and Audrina talked for "a long time" at the club. I guess the long time was edited down to 1 min 30 seconds on the show. Lauren warns Audrina that Heidi would use her to get back at Lauren. A slight worried look crosses Audrina's moon face as she reassures Lauren that she would never be friends with Heidi since Heidi hurt Lauren. My head is spinning at the Shakespearean complexity of all these entwined relationships.

Lauren visits Whitney at her work and angles for a part time job. Heidi comes over to Audrina's and Lauren's apt to pick up some things she had left there. Heidi comments on the oddity of She-Pratt and Lauren being friends and Audrina responds with a surprising amount of wisdom: "It's weird how the world works." Audrina admits that Heidi came over and Lauren freaks out. Awkward silence ensues...fade out.

American Idol - Terry's Take on Dolly Night

2008-04-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

First, let me say that Ryan's opening with the April Fool's joke could not have possibly fooled anyone and is was beyond lame and went right on to just plain stupid.

Brooke White - "Joleen" - The more I hear her the more I fall for her voice. It has a lovely tone and just enough uniqueness to keep me interested. And her style and demeanor just increase my crush on her each week. I didn't feel the emotion, but I liked it anyway. There's just something fresh and pure in her performances each week.
David Cook - "Little Sparrow" - Talk about taking a song that didn't interest me in the least and making it interesting....Wow! Again! He is showing that not only can he be so creative but that he has far more vocal range than I gave him credit for when this season started. Another fantastic job. AND, he FINALLY did something to improve that hair!!
Ramielle Malubay - She has such a good voice and is so darn pretty, but it is becoming painfully obvious that she lacks the ability to tap that special something and truly connect with her audience. I kept thinking that with time and improved confidence it would come. But it hasn't. And it's becoming increasingly evident that it won't. She's running short on time....and may have finally run out.
Jason Castro - "Travelin' Through" - Good song choice for him. Fit him and his niche. He didn't stretch musically as I know Simon would like, but he did push himself vocally and showed he can offer more. I didn't love it but I did like it.
Carly Smithson - "Here You Come Again" - Sounded good but not great. Should be safe(?). And Simon is right! I was thinking the same thing (he might just be my evil British twin). She's been looking dour and not at all like a (rock) star. She has all the hardcore tats but has been dressing like some frumpy dumpster diver.
David Archuleta - "Smokey Mountain Memories" - Let's see, first Dolly practically anoints him, then he gives a terrific performance. Oh yeah. He's safe. And back in true form.
Kristy Lee Cook - "Coat of Many Colors" - One of her better performances but oddly not that interesting. She has a touch of Ramielle-itis in that she has trouble connecting and conveying real emotion, too. Could be her undoing.
Syesha Mercado - "I Will Alway Love You" - Smart! She veered towards Dolly's softer more intimate version....for about half the song. Then she got stupid (and egotistical) and jumped into the more openly powerful Whitney version. Stupid! And ego-driven. She very likely would have been safe if she had stuck with the Dolly version all the way through. But, she just had to show Simon and the world that she IS as good as she thinks she is....but, she's NOT! And if it doesn't blow up in her face this week, it surely will some week soon.
Michael Johns - I loved his bluesy take and this was by far his best performance since Hollywood (which I, quite honestly, wasn't as impressed with as the judges were). He finally lived up to his potential. A great vocal, great arrangement and he was just smoldering on that stage.

American Idol - Coolia on Dolly Week

2008-04-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Performances

Brooke White - "Jolene"

I'd agree with Simon on this one - Brooke didn't put a lot of emotion into the song. I didn't hear any desperation in her voice as she begged, "Jolene - JOLENE - Puhlleeez don't take my man!" To make a Paula-type comment, I'll say her hair looked nice. I was hoping one of the rockers would take on this song.

David Cook - "Little Sparrow"

This was David's best performance yet, I thought, probably because it was truly original. I'm glad he credited all the original performers who made the quirky arrangements of the other songs he's done the past few weeks in his interview with Ryan. It's not that he didn't admit it before, but it wasn't really emphasized, and I think a lot of voters were giving him credit for being more creative than he was. But tonight he came up with a fresh arrangement, a nuanced vocal, and he sported a much better haircut. However, I still can't stop picturing his alien baby photo when I watch him.

Jason Castro - "Traveling Through"

Jason did a decent job with Dolly's Oscar-nominated tune from Transamerica (great movie, by the way). Again, he didn't really stretch, well, maybe a little bit toward the end where the song went more uptempo and required him to be kinda animated. He's dreamy, but he could be in the Bottom 3 again this week. Then again, maybe his fans will mobilize and storm the phone lines after last week's scare.

Ramiele Malubay - "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?"

Simon is in a mood tonight. He should just admit that country music makes him cranky. Instead, he likened Ramiele's performance to one you'd hear on a cruise ship. I thought it was a decent vocal but unremarkable, and her outfit looked kinda waitressy. No, Ramiele, I don't think you'll ever cross my mind after you get booted off.

Carly Smithson - "Here You Come Again"

This is my favorite Dolly song, and I love what Carly did with it. She took a catchy uptempo ditty and spun it into a power ballad, and it worked. She has the biggest voice in the competition by far, but too bad she doesn't have much likability. She'll probably get some sympathy votes after Simon told her she needed to get somebody to dress her better. I actually thought this was one of her better outfits. I also recommend less close-ups of her husband - America isn't overly fond of dudes with tattooed faces.

David Archuleta - "Appalachian Memories"

David picked a more comfortable song for himself and delivered an emotional performance that inspired Randy to yell "David Archuleta is back!" Paula commented on his positive aura - cut to Michael Kors smirking in the crowd. Smirk all you want, Michael, but just listen to those tweens scream.

Kristy Lee Cook - "Coat of Many Colors"

Building on the emotional manipulation of Middle America she began last week by singing "God Bless the USA", Kristy Lee picks Dolly's saddest song, inspired by the true story of Dolly's mom making her a coat out of fabric scraps that the other kids in the one-room schoolhouse deemed a "fashion don't." Kristy Lee looked gorgeous with her peacock print dress and fetching up 'do. Her vocal was fine on a not particularly demanding song. I think she'll sail through this week.

Syesha Mercado - "I Will Always Love You"

This was the only song choice I predicted correctly, because, well, it was so freakin' predictable. Syesha tried to do a hybrid Dolly/Whitney version of this song, and while the Dolly part was okay, the Whitney part lacked oomph. She comes off like a very generic diva, and she better hope that America's love for this song is enough to carry her through (I'm skeptical). The yellow dress worked much better on Syesha than it did on Brooke, but one attendee at the Ape Culture Idol Watch likened her hairstyle to Condoleeza Rice's - ouch.

Michael Johns - "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right"

Wow, Michael blew me away. I thought this was the best performance of the night. As the only contestant who was born before Best Little Whorehouse in Texas was released, Michael seemed to have the best knowledge of Dolly. After all, he saw her in concert back in 1986. He had an understanding of the source material and the ability to reinvent it. I loved the bluesy, soulful vibe. I'm not crazy about the ascot look, but, still, as Randy said "blazin' hot!"

Celebrity Mentor

Dolly was fun but she wasn't a bit critical. Of course, she said she resisted going on the show before because she didn't want to be critical. So, she smiled a lot and told everyone they looked great. I still think she's awesome, though, and I liked hearing her songs this week. I'm stoked for the "Island in the Stream/Nine to Five" medley tomorrow night.

Predictions

It's a tough call, but I'm thinking Jason, Brooke, and Syesha will be the Bottom 3, with Syesha going home.

Scenes from the Morrissey Convention

2008-03-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

I went, and I stood on my own.

I checked out the annual Morrissey convention for the first time on Sunday night. It was held at Crash Mansion LA downtown and emceed by Richard "Flashback Favorites" Blade.

I had been to several KISS and Cher conventions, and I have to say the Morrissey convention paled in comparison to them when it came to memorabilia and schwag. There were only maybe 5 vendor tables set up in the lobby, peddling buttons, t-shirts, bootlegs. That aspect of the show was disappointing.

The entertainment more than made up for the lack of merchandise. These Charming Men, a Morrissey/Smiths tribute band from Dublin, played two sets. They played an all-Smiths set and then an all-Morrissey set. Singer Lee Brady looked more like Frank Whaley than Moz, but he sounded a lot like Moz, and the band members were skilled musicians. The end product was a very effective tribute. Fans sang along to every tune. The club was rockin' especially toward the end of the Morrissey set when the band played the anthemic "Irish Blood, English Heart."

Other activities included a "Name that Tune" contest. I was impressed at the fans who could name the Morrissey tunes in a few notes, even though Richard Blade did give out a few hints. There was a tattoo contest where fans showed off the Moz heads on their biceps and backs (and one girl showed off "Viva Hate" tattooed on her belly).

A guy proposed to his girlfriend on stage, stating that she was a big Moz fan so he thought this was an appropriate venue. Yes, there is a light that never goes out.

Former Morrissey band member Gary Day made an appearance for a brief DJ set.

Standing on the sidelines in true "How Soon Is Now?" fashion, I really enjoyed the people watching. The crowd was 98% Chicano and many were dressed to the nines. There were a lot of rockabilly types and gals in 50s clothes with fantastic hairstyles or Betty Page bangs. Many guys were rockin' the pompadour. I really didn't fully understand the appeal of Morrissey to the Chicano crowd, so I read up on it in Ask a Mexican by Gustavo Arellano. Arellano likens Morrissey's music to ranchera and his effeminate stage presence to Juan Gabriel. Morrissey has returned the affection he got from the Chicano crowd by moving to Los Angeles (or "Moz Angeles" as one fan's T-shirt said) for a spell and by once declaring he wished he'd been born Mexican. Morrissey's theme of alienation appeals to Chicanos and, well, just about everyone at some point or another.

And I left on my own.

Check out my photo album for more pics of the Moz Con.

Remember, people, Morrissey has your back.

American Idol - Coolia on the Top 10

2008-03-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

This week's the Idols performed songs from their birth years. I think this is done just to make those of us watching at home feel really old.

Performances

Ramiele Malubay - "Alone" - 1987

Ramiele takes on former Idol winner Carrie Underwood with this song choice. I had to go back and watch Carrie's performance on YouTube to confirm what I already knew - as much as I disliked Carrie, she and her big 80s hair would blow Ramiele off the stage. This was the performance that made Simon say, "Carrie, not only will you win this show, you'll sell more records than any previous Idol." This is the performance that could make Ryan say "Ramiele, you are leaving us tonight," although I suspect her cuteness, viewer sympathy for her being ill, and her big voting bloc may keep her safe. The song was just too big for her, and she shouldn't smile while wailing in desperation about lying in the room pitch dark ahhhhlooone!

Jason Castro - "Fragile" - 1987

Well, I love this Sting song, and it's a song I'd never expect to hear on Idol before Jason Castro came to Hollywood. I love the original song choices Jason makes and the emotion he puts into his performances. However, I have to agree with the judges that this wasn't dissimilar from the usual Jason laid back troubadour routine. He did inject a little latin flair. There's no reason he can't be successful in the James Blunt/John Mayer mode with these types of songs, but I don't know if he can win this competition being so mellow. Also he should realize his laissez faire vibe in combination with his dreads conjures up a certain image: pothead.

Syesha Mercado - "If I Were Your Woman" - 1987

Yikes, Syesha, did you have to do that baby cry impression again??!? That is so creepy. I wasn't familiar with this Gladys Knight tune, but I was impressed with Syesha's belting. I can't say I'll remember it tomorrow, though.

Chikezie - "If Only For One Night" - 1985

I think the problem with Chikezie as a crooner is that he just has zero sex appeal. When he reaches into the crowd, I'm surprised the girls want to touch him. He does have a nice tone to his voice, and I couldn't find much fault with the vocal. Still, I was a bit bored. I prefer his jug band routines. I think he's in danger of being sent home, especially after sassing back to Simon once again.

Brooke White - "Every Breath You Take" - 1983

Brooke had a stutter at the beginning but kept her composure and delivered a mostly smooth vocal. She kept her eyes shut a lot, which made this feel stiff to me. She does have presence, I'll admit, and this was a good song choice for her. She still irritates the hell out of me, but that probably says more about me than it does about Brooke.

Michael Johns - "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" - 1978

Finally, we get to see what Michael can do! He's not just a stud - he can rock. He wisely returns to Queen, since the judges had lauded his "Bohemian Rhapsody" from Hollywood Week as his best performance, at least until this week. Michael delivered these rock anthems with a lot of gusto and owned the stage. There was a bit of Broadway in the delivery, but overall, this performance shows why he deserves to be in the Top 10. However, I still feel he'd be a better front man than a stand-alone artist. Girls went wild for him - maybe even wilder than they did for young David?

Carly Smithson - "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - 1983

Hmm, did Carly sing this in tribute to her former roommate Amanda who should have sang this during 80s week? It's a bold song choice, and I thought she delivered a confident and powerful vocal. She didn't personalize the song at all, but still I thought the judges were overly harsh on her. I wonder if their comments will plunge her back into the bottom 3 or if America's affection for this song will keep her safe.

David Archuleta - "You're the Voice" - 1990

Answer: Unskinny Bop, We Didn't Start the Fire, Humpty Dance, Opposites Attract / Question: What are lame songs from my high school graduation year 1990 that would have STILL been preferable to the song David picked?!? David looked like a robot up there, trying to stir the crowd up with an unfamiliar John Farnham anthem. For the first time, I could picture him ending up singing in a church alongside Mandisa and George Huff. He really needs to watch the cheese factor - this performance was cornier than an episode of Hee Haw. He also made a teen idol faux pas by admitting to having a girlfriend, or at least a potential prom date. Come on, David, it's up to Tiger Beat to find a prom date for you!

Kristy Lee Cook - "God Bless the USA" - 1984

Kristy Lee is a freakin' genius! This is one of the smartest song choices in the history of Idol. I won't call it a completely shameless vote grab, because she did deliver a strong, emotional performance. I personally have a soft spot for this tune as it was the soundtrack for every Fourth of July fireworks display and air show under the Arch when I was growing up in St. Louis. The performance may not have been better than any 10:00 AM musical revue show in Branson, but I think it will definitely keep Kristy out of the Bottom 3 for once.

David Cook - "Billie Jean" - 1982

Wow, as an infant, David looked like an alien baby. He's right - he did have a "massive skull." As this song started, I groaned, fearing he was just repeating his "Hello" gimmick. But as the song progressed, I grew impressed with his growling vocal power and felt he was in Daughtry's league for the first time. I still am not really a fan, but I have to give David props for the most original and confident performance of the night.

Predictions

I'm gonna have to sleep on this one, but right now I'm thinking Chikezie, Syesha, and Ramiele are in the Bottom 3, with Chikezie going home.

The Hills is Back!

2008-03-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

America, rejoice...The Hills is back!

I don't know why this show is so addictive. It's just empty calories. Yet, I consume it.

When we last left The Hills girls, LC and Whitney were preparing to embark on another "business trip" to Paris. Lauren had to say goodbye to Brody for, what, like 2 weeks? You would have thought she was leaving to spend a year on the space station by the difficulty of this goodbye (and by his inability to stay faithful). Meanwhile, Spencer and Heidi had another huge fight which resulted in Heidi throwing something at his head and leaving to go spend some "me" time with her parents in Colorado.

Tonight's show begins with LC and Whitney getting off the plane in Paris and looking like they just stepped out of Teen Vogue. Where was the layer of grease that coats most of us after a transatlantic flight? Where were the baggy sweats and tennis shoes? They have two items on their to-do list: (1) pick up shoes for debutantes and (2) pick up their own ball gowns. Of course they rush directly to pick up their gowns, only to discover that in the time they spent squealing over the couture, the shoetique closed and they can't get the shoes! This is made into a mini-crisis although the ball is not until the next evening, meaning they'll have the entire next day to complete the errand. Phew! I was getting all stressed out!!

Meanwhile in the majestically photographed frozen tundra of Crested Butte, CO, we see Heidi skiing with her mom. Heidi looks kinda different, like she has managed to cram in some more plastic surgery during the show's two-month hiatus. She also looks rather gaunt, like grief over this separation has put her on a hunger strike. Her mom advises her to keep spending "me" time and find out who she is besides Spencer's Girl. Good advice, Mom.

Back in Paris, we see LC and Whitney at work. As usual the work involves helping models get dressed. LC receives a call from a buzzed Audrina telling her she saw Brody at a club with another girl that he referred to as his girlfriend and they were "all hugging and kissing and stuff." LC has a completely vacant expression as she shares this news with Whitney, who responds with her patented sympathetic pouty face. The solution they come up with is to go off and find new guys, so they meet up with a band that Audrina has recruited for them. LC doesn't have anything to wear to a club (um, didn't she come to Paris with a ginormous suitcase?) so she temporarily hems her ball gown. The band could be called The 5 Justin Bobbys based on their looks. One of them has a unibrow. Is that trendy now? LC makes a lot of eye contact with the nicest one of the bunch - the bearded Mathias.

Spencer decided to fly to Colorado to see Heidi, because she won't take his calls. He shows up and I thought her dad was gonna punch him out for a minute, but then he invited him in. Disappointing! When Heidi walks in, she shoots him daggers while seeming a bit smugly satisfied that she was able to lure him to Siberia. Spencer's dreams of a Dr. Zhivago type romance come to a crashing halt after several awkward dinners during which Heidi again asserts her need for space. What do you bet he called Audrina for a date on his way back to the airport?

We move on to the Cinderella portion of our show. High drama ensues when LC discovers - a mere hour before for the ball - that her curling iron burned her gown! She has a tiny breakdown and a glimpse of emotion crosses her face briefly, but Whitney saves the day by phoning the boutique to secure a replacement gown. They both emerge as belles of the debutante ball and LC even has a handsome prince - the aforementioned Mathias - show up on a Vespa to give her a midnight tour of Paris. Where's the love for Whitney, I'm wondering? She's always left to ask LC how her date went.

So why is there a season pass in my tivo for this show? As a gal in her mid-30s living in LA, I marvel at how different these girls' lives are from my own. I live 5 miles from them but I might as well be in Des Moines. I take voyeuristic pleasure in getting glimpses of clubs I wouldn't have the patience to wait in line to get into. I can feel momentarily superior for being older and wiser and make catty observations about Audrina's inability to formulate a complete sentence and Heidi's lack of musical talent. At the same time, I'm a bit envious, wishing that a curling iron burn on a gown was my big problem.

It's basically just escapist TV. The Hills is like a painting that matches your sofa - it may not be art, but it sure looks good.

American Idol - Coolia on the Top 11

2008-03-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

Performances

Amanda Overmyer - "Back in the USSR"

Idol may want to get rid of The Rock n' Roll Nurse by making her sing first, but she ain't goin' without a fight! And the fight is gonna take place in a roadhouse, with Amanda brandishing a pool cue in one hand and a broken bottle of Busch Light in the other! Amanda rocked this tune pretty hard. It wasn't really anything new for her, but I was entertained, and it's refreshing to see this hard rockin' of a gal on Idol.

Kristy Lee Cook - "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away"

I thought the dress looked like a cheap Halloween costume - you know, the slutty female vampire, or something. This was a good song choice for her vocal range, but it was pretty dull. I also think she didn't exploit her country niche, which is what she needs to do to stay alive - secure the country music vote.

David Archuleta - "The Long and Winding Road"

The 12-year-old girl who subscribed to Bop! magazine is still inside me (somebody call an exorcist) and she melts when David performs. I'm glad he picked a song that was comfortably in his wheelhouse, and he successfully recovered from stumbling around blindly like Stevie Wonder last week. I think we'll see scores of girls - an Archuleta Army - sobbing in hysterics like Sanjaya's famous fan before this season is over.

Michael Johns - "A Day in the Life"

I thought this was hot, almost as hot as Taylor Hicks' version. I don't know why the judges bagged on him so bad. Are Simon and Randy just jealous? Did Michael refuse to join Paula in her hot tub? This song is kind of a roller coaster ride like "Bohemian Rhapsody" and I thought he handled the mood swings well. Paula blamed the "monitor in the ear" syndrome for Michael's shortcomings, only to discover he didn't have a monitor in his ear, and then she didn't quit when she was behind when it came to explaining herself. Michael handled clarifying that point without being snippy and then made a death dedication to ensure he'll be back next week.

Brooke White - "Here Comes the Sun"

What could be sunnier than sunny Brooke singing this song in dress that's yellow like the sun. Pardon me while I go into sugar shock. Like Simon, I found this whole performance cliched. "Whoo!" sang Brooke, and that was the only thing that kept me awake during her song. I feel extra-cynical for disliking her, but I do. I really do. And that's OK because Brooke will still pray for me.

David Cook - "Daytripper"

OK, the fake rocker is kinda growing on me. I think his use of the vocoder was a shout out to his longtime fan and Cher scholar - Nerdia. I am starting to "believe" myself. If David had more sex appeal, Michael Johns would probably have been sent home by now, but he doesn't, so the battle of the rocker boys will wage on.

Carly Smithson - "Blackbird"

I was hoping Jason Castro would do this song. Carly did an OK job with it, but it didn't really show off her vocal power and her attempts to sing it the way Ann Wilson might fell a bit flat. The outfit made her look a bit heavy, which she isn't. It would be nice to see her wear something with sleeves for a change. We've all had enough chances to admire that Amy Winehouse tattoo. Still, she's one of the top contenders. Carly, take your broken wings, and learn to fly again.

Jason Castro - "Michelle"

With those soulful eyes, Jason can sell just about anything by gazing into the camera. This was a good song choice for him, but he still didn't stretch at all. His response to Randy's critique was that he didn't really have enough time this week, which seems weak. I know filming the Ford commercial takes a few hours, and picking out an outfit that looks like something David Cassidy might have worn on The Partridge Family took a few more hours, but that should have left a few days to go through The Beatles catalog and pick out a challenging song and practice it enough to own it. Still, he's dreamy. He got almost as many screams from the girls as young David.

Syesha Mercado - "Yesterday"

Syesha's outfit looked like what Mrs. Roper might wear to Burning Man. I was pretty bored by this performance, but the judges were complimentary, so I'm going to refrain from picking Syesha to leave this week.

Chikezie - "I Just Seen a Face"

This was a bit of a retread of last week's quiet-to-manic performance, but I have to admit I enjoyed it. He has a warm tone to his voice and a much more likable personality since he abandoned the sass. With the up tempo turn and harmonica-playing, I think he just might steal the country music vote from Kristy Lee this week. Charley Pride would be, um, proud.

Ramiele Malubay - "I Should Have Known Better"

Yikes, Ramiele beats out Brooke and Syesha for the worst dressed of the week award. She should stop letting her BFF Danny Noreaga be her stylist. Ramiele is adorable, but this performance was pretty mediocre. Will her intense fan base keep her in the game? Tune in tomorrow night to see, America...

Predictions

Bottom 3: Ramiele, Kristy Lee, Chikezie
Going home: Kristy Lee