There wasn't quite the hoopla that surrounds an American Idol finale, but the kids of But Can They Sing? sang their final chorus last Sunday. We expected from the beginning that it would come down to a battle between the two teen idols - Michael Copon and Carmine Gotti Agnello - and so it did. Morgan Fairchild took third place, but it was as if the producers realized Bai Ling should have been ahead of her. They let Bai come back and strut and strip her way through "I Touch Myself." It was amusing to watch the largely 'tween audience stare at Bai, unsure of how to react to her performance art spectacle. Another highlight was the opening number which reunited all the contestants (except for Joey Pants - did he get whacked?) for a "Bohemian Rhapsody" that was nearly as funny as Wayne's World. In the end, justice was done, as Michael Copon, who can sing a little, triumphed over Carmine. Fortunately, Carmine had his brothers, who had joined him onstage during his performance of "Gold Digger", to console him.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
But Can They Sing? Finale - 12/4/05
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Requiem for Bai Ling
Watching But Can They Sing? these past few weeks, I've been transfixed by Bai Ling. I started watching the show because I'm a Growing Up Gotti fan, but I found myself tuning in mostly to see what Bai Ling would do next. This week, I was shocked to see Bai, who I thought was the show's breakout star, get voted off! My money was on Morgan Fairchild getting the boot. I figured she was too old for most viewers, plus she had shown little growth in her talk-singing method and diva-like tendencies while fighting with Bai during rehearsals for the group number. How could audiences not vote for Bai, who was consistently pushing the envelope with her costumes and song choices? Last week, wearing a mohawk and not much else, she rocked her way through "I Wanna Be Sedated" like a cross between Wendy O. Williams and Laurie Anderson. She concluded her performance by humping the stool like a chihuahua in heat. How could America be unimpressed? Well, Bai, I guess you can't sing, but you sure can entertain. Have your agent call Surreal Life - I bet there's a room in Glen Campbell's house for you.
Monday, November 07, 2005
But Can They Sing? - 11/06/05
In case I didn't make myself clear last week, the answer is still, "No!" This episode was merciful because 3 contestants were sent home before they could sing - Myrka Dellanos (she didn't sing well and she's even more obscure than the other "stars"), Kim Alexis (she sang the worst, in my opinion, and her looks aren't holding up that well), and Joe Pantoliano (not the worst by a long shot - most likely a victim of age discrimination and a too-small crossover audience of Sopranos viewers). An interesting phenonmenon happened on this show - the boys decided to exploit themselves as sex objects to get votes. I believe this means the women's rights movement has finally come into its own, and Hillary can get elected president!! First, Michael Copon, dressed in a tight leather ensemble that recalled Elvis' Comeback Special, bared his chest toward the end of his number. Next, mumble-voiced Antonio Sabato, Jr. immediately removed his hoodie and sang his entire song shirtless. I guess this was so we could see how he was using his diaphragm. The final member of the beefcake triumvirate was Carmine Gotti Agnello who first told the host that his gameplan was to take off shirt until he decided not to do it because Michael and Antonio had done it first. But then, instead of taking the high road, Carmine ripped his shirt off and threw it into the crowd (not that I'm complaining, or anything). Morgan Fairchild talked her way through "I Will Survive" - next week, she may have to strip down to her Old Navy underwear in order to survive. The likeable Larry Holmes struggled with "Let's Get It On", looking like a poor suitor waiting for Cyrano to feed him the lyrics. Somehow Bai Ling survived the axe and came out with a freaky version of "Call Me" - she's the Asian Bjork. I hope she sticks around until the end because her wackiness and the boys' washboard abs are enough to keep me tuning in, as long as the "mute" button on my remote is working.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
But Can They Sing? - 10/30/05
In a word, "No." I was really looking forward to But Can They Sing?, VH1's Dancing with the Stars rip-off. Not only would I get to see Joey Pants and Antonio Sabato, Jr. sing - but also one of my favorite reality stars, Carmine Gotti Agnello! Knowing that Carmine can't enunciate and has to have his dialogue subtitled even though he's allegedly speaking English, I couldn't imagine how he'd be able to sing (of course, some would argue that unintelligible lyrics are the cornerstone of rock music). Carmine was given the challenge of rapping along to "Ride Wit' Me" by Nelly. Anyone who saw this performance will have gained new-found respect for Nelly. However, Carmine got points for having the attitude of a pop star, and the screaming girls in the crowd ate up the performance. Larry Holmes was a bright spot, showing some flair for performance even if he couldnt' sing too well. Kim Alexis and Bai Ling were probably the worst, although Bai Ling's writhing on the floor to "Like a Virgin" might garner a few votes from Maxim readers. Joey Pants did a mediocre Frank Sinatra impression and Morgan Fairchild did a passable Nancy Sinatra. The whole spectacle made me think of a famous Nancy and Frank Sinatra collaboration: "Something Stupid".
