Friday, March 03, 2006

American Idol - 4 Critics Dissect the Top 10 Boys

LAST NIGHT ON AMERICAN IDOL...


TAYLOR
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He is turning into a one-trick pony. I was not impressed. Last night proved he's a good singer, but not a great singer in terms of his technical range. What sells his performance(s) is his genuine emotional connection with the song(s), but I wasn't feeling that last night as much as on previous nights. He loses serious points for FOUR, count 'em four(!), uses of an exclamatory "Whoo!" throughout the song. Haven't heard so many "whoo's" since Michael Jackson released multiple singles from the Black and White album.
  • Coolia: He's still my favorite. I think I like him because he's different and a little eccentric. I like his grey hair. He didn't blow me away last night the way he did the previous week with "Levon", but I still find him likable. I do cringe everytime he does that Ray Charles imitation and mugs for the camera. He's got to cut that out!
  • Nerdia: We didn't like him and spent the evening doing "Whoo-hoo! I'll take it" impressions while passing the condiments during our dinner.
ACE
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He was okay, but it wasn't all that impressive vocally. Still is wonderful to look at. I think Paula was right when she said he's better than what he's actually shown us thus far.
  • Coolia: I find him to be Constantine light. I thought Constantine had more charisma, while Ace might be more classically handsome. The beanie in the pocket story wasn't endearing to me...if he clings to it he may end up like Jasmine Trias and her flower. He needs to be defined by his singing not his accessories.
KEVIN













  • C. Crumpet Swank: He was the worst of the night. He sounded best in his audition, when he sang that hymn-like song. Uptempo is clearly not his forte. He should go home based on this performance, but his lovable twerp persona will keep him on safe ground.
  • Coolia: He's very likable. Girls want to protect him. He was terrible tonight but it hardly matters. Even his awkward dance moves were somehow cute.
  • Nerdia: Dull as dishwater, but that hilarious Chicken Little comparison will save him for another week.
  • Terry: He is clearly not in the league of the best of the men but his "cute" factor may carry him far beyond his true talent.
SWAY
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He was decent, and I'm not even a fan. I don't know why the judges clobbered him to the degree that they did.
  • Coolia: I disagree. I agreed with Simon - he brought nothing original to that song. And that song "Overjoyed" is so overplayed, oversang, I'm over it. Charles Grigsby did a better job with it several seasons back. His only hope for survival is all the Filipinos power dialing.
  • Nerdia: I agree - Sway had an off-nite. But the Filipinos will storm the phone lines! When he brings it on, as he will next week...he's supercalafragalistic.
  • Terry: I was stunned by his bad rendition. But I think he'll stay simply because he is better than his performance tonight coupled with his attractiveness and likeability factory.
DAVID
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He will be going home, I suspect. What did Simon advise last week? Show us that you can sing outside of this stylized manner, if you want to stick around. So what he does he do with this useful criticism? He disregards its completely and sings a Sinatra song. He will rue his choice. And he takes criticism poorly, in general. If looks could kill...
  • Coolia: He's cute but I don't think that's enough to save him. He lacks charisma, but then so did Red John Stevens and he made it pretty far. We'll see if America is "in the mood" for another boring crooner. I hope not.
  • Terry: I love Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr., but them he aint.
BUCKY
  • C. Crumpet Swank: I don't think he's that good. And with Chris Daughtry around, no one needs Bucky.
  • Coolia: I thought his food rant was a blatant copy of Kellie's food rant from the night before. He's trying to nab the "aw shucks" vote. Still, this was a better song for him and he did a good job with it. I thinkhe will get the country music fan vote along with the Waffle House vote.
  • Nerdia: The name Bucky itself is anti-idol...he just doesn't work. Simon was right to call him supporting material (at best). I feel like Bucky is a genuine hick where now Kelly Pickler is just doing more of what people are fawning over her for and so she's become hyper-hick as a strategy. I was turned off by both their hick-speeches this week however...Kelly because it's beginning to sound fake and Bucky because I really can't stand guys who can only ever eat plain chicken and "sweet tea" AND THEN try to spin their fear of food so that it sounds like they think YOU'RE the one with a social defect.
WILL
  • C. Crumpet Swank: I think he's got a great voice and his rendition was solid, but the song choice was too "old." He deserves to be in the Top Twelve. He also has a fun-loving personality which is winning.
  • Coolia: He's cute and likable. I think he'll go far, although I don't personally find him that inspiring so far.
  • Terry: He has a really good singing voice but continues to choose songs that do not fit him (in so many ways).
GEDEON
  • C. Crumpet Swank: I don't like him at all because of his offstage personality--that bizarre way he elocutes, etc.,...but I have to give him props for that masterful performance last night, which was bettered by Chris alone. I can't believe he's 17--he looks like he's 37! I'll bet you he has trouble fitting in at school. He's someone who, if teased, would behave like a conceited priss in response, which will only exacerbate the situation. Shave the mustache, please.
  • Coolia: I couldn't agree more - I was floored when they said he was still a teenager, and not just because he picks old songs. I guess he was good but his type of music isn't my type.
CHRIS
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He was superb, plain and simple. He got everything right.
  • Coolia: I was transfixed - what a powerful performance. If only he was slightly better looking, he'd be the total package. Still, he out-Bo'd Bo Bice. He seems a lock for the Final 2.
  • Nerdia: Loved, loved, loved it!
  • Terry: He is so far and above all the other male participants that he shouldn't have to go through this crap to rise to the top, he IS the cream this season!!!
ELLIOTT
  • C. Crumpet Swank: He was probably third best, after Chris and Gedeon. I commented that Elliott seemed very relaxed while he was singing, which made his performance that much more enjoyable, and it was gratifying to hear Simon echo this observation in his comments about Elliott's growing sense of confidence. His voice does have a lovely tone. But let's face it (no pun intended)--his looks are troubling. He really is homely. I'm not trying to be mean, but he's truly unattractive. His mouth, his chin, his ears, his teeth, the shape of his head overall--he's really unfortunate in the looks department. He reminds me of an East European version of Stan Laurel. His personality seems humble and easy-going, and I think over time this will temper some of my (and others') initial reaction to his looks.
  • Coolia: I didn't really care for the song choice, but he delivered it very well. He's definitely one of the most talented of the men, but I agree - a bit hard to look at. Aren't they handing out coupons for DaVinci Veneers in the contestants' goodie bags by now?
  • Nerdia: He redeemed himself nicely this week.
PREDICTIONS ON WHO'S GOING HOME?

C. Crumpet Swank: Kinnik, Heather, Bucky, and David
Coolia: Heather, Melissa, Sway, and David
Nerdia: Catherine, Heather, Will, and David
Terry: Heather, Brenna, David, and Will

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