Courtney Love and the Kansas City Choir Boy Take Culver City

As a long-time Courtney Love fan, I couldn't pass up the unprecedented opportunity to see her on stage a mere two miles from my condo. She is currently co-starring in Kansas City Choir Boy at the Kirk Douglas Theater, running until November 8.  

This was my first time to this theater and it was arranged for this show with seats on three sides of the action. The staging area for the musical was quite small, and it felt very intimate.  This is not the kind of show I normally like, as it has very little narrative, but I found myself really enjoying it.

Todd Almond wrote and stars in the musical, as the unnamed Kansas City Choir Boy, who recounts his relationship with Athena (Courtney Love) in flashbacks after seeing a TV news report that she was murdered in a park. Girl meets boy in Kansas City, girl dreams of being an actress, boy writes music, girl leaves to pursue dreams in New York, girl meets a tragic end, boy struggles to go on and seeks her inspiration from beyond the grave.  That's about as much of the storyline as I could gather. It's never really explained why he doesn't want to go to New York with her, since he has artistic aspirations, too.

Besides the two principals, there's a group of women known as the sirens who form a Greek chorus. The choreography for the sirens kept things interesting, as did the creative lighting.  At times the sound mix was a bit muddled, so it was hard to make out what the actors were singing. A string quartet plays at some points and provides refreshing interludes. The songs were appealing, but I couldn't hum any of them a day after seeing it.

Courtney is mesmerizing with her alabaster skin and commanding presence, however she doesn't have much to do and her character isn't really developed. She basically functions as a muse.  At one point, she appears in a black dress that is just spectacular. It's hard to keep your eyes off her. I have been glad to see her in Empire and I hope she continues to focus more on acting. Her singing voice is not for everyone but since the material here is rock-oriented, it works. It would be even better if the script was developed further. It's more of a sketch than a fleshed-out story. 

There's palpable chemistry between Almond and Love, and anyone who has loved and lost will find something relatable in the show.  Almond based it on his own experience growing up in the midwest and watching TV news and seeing the face of an actress he had been working with who had been murdered in a park.  

After the show, there was a talkback, and most of the audience admitted they had no idea what they had witnessed or what the story was about.  One woman mentioned she had not been familiar with the music of Cyndi Lauper before seeing the show - clearly, she had her singers with the initials CL confused! Most enjoyed the show for its creativity in lighting, staging, and music. The musical is only an hour, so I think it can get away with its vagueness without wearing out its welcome.  

Although I bought tickets through Goldstar Events, we ended up in the front row, and I felt a bit starstruck to be so close to Courtney. A girl next to me could hardly sit in her seat due to her excitement at almost being able to touch the rock icon. I realized the last time I was this close to Courtney was way back in 1994, when I saw Hole on their Live Through This tour at a small club in St Louis. 21 years later, she is still mesmerizing, raw, and a very real presence in an ethereal musical.  


Kansas City Choir Boy official website

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House of Davids Estate Sale

The King of Hancock Park is selling his castle and all its contents. After driving by this house for years, I couldn't resist the chance to go inside and maybe get a souvenir.

For those not familiar with this story, Norwood Young, a former Star Search winner and R&B recording artist has a home called Youngwood Court, aka "The House of Davids" due to the fact he has placed 17 statues of David on columns in front of the house. The house has caused much consternation among the quiet, wealthy neighbors over the years. They disliked the accoutrements, the drive-by tourists, and the parties. Now Young is looking for a fresh start after publishing his autobiography last year that describes a lot of the pain that led to all the partying, plastic surgery, and excess.

The estate sale is running 2 weekends. I was there for opening day on Oct 15. I had read it would start at 9am and imagined people would be there even earlier, but I slept in and got there around 11:30am. There was a small line, and I realized that the sale hadn't begun. Some girls in hot pink outfits were setting up a champagne bar in the driveway. The gal in line behind me had an email that said the estate sale would be kicking off with a champagne and massage reception. 'Cuz that's how Norwood rolls.

I didn't realize it at the time, not being aware of what he looked like, but Norwood himself came out to tell the line they would be opening a few minutes late. And then Sharon Yost who was running the estate sale came out and explained we would be entering through a side gate to the backyard and would be expected to leave that way too. We were told to not partake of the champagne or free massages as those were for a separate event going on. Hmmph.

I was in the first group of 25 people to be let inside. Once in the backyard, I noticed the faded painting of Norwood on the bottom of the pool. Lots of statues were for sale, as well as a large variety of Christmas decorations. They were even selling picnic plastic cutlery and containers of margaritas salt. Yes, everything must go at estate sales, but it's a little strange when the person isn't dead.

Inside the house, I checked out the home theater, adorned with Norwood-centric artwork, including a strange 3D portrait of him as a lion that kind of resembled Ron Perlman in Beauty and the Beast. Lots of glassware was for sale on the bar. I noticed what would become my only purchase - Norwood glasses - adorned with a logo and images of David. A good souvenir for $10 each, and a fine addition to my wet bar!

Next up, there was the dining room. The lucite cocktail rounds are suspended from the ceiling, with track lighting on the floor shining up, and lucite dining chairs. There's an 8' tall sequined Michael Jackson glove that can be yours for $5000. The entrance hall had a white grand piano with a Norwood puppet on top of it, and 2 huge "Alice in Wonderland" chairs. They were $500 each. There were 2 bedrooms on the first floor with furnishing for sale. I don't know how to really describe the house's design aesthetic - "Nagel meets Elvis" maybe?

At first, we weren't allowed access to the upstairs Master Suite because Norwood was in there. Then he came down and greeted some of the guests and the reality TV crew. We could then take off our shoes and ascend the dirty white carpeted stairs to the master suite. It had a large sleigh bed and a nice balcony overlooking the pool.

Back downstairs, I watched Norwood's manager show off Norwood's bejeweled pimp cup to the reality TV crew, stating that Norwood would drink his tea from it. I took my glasses to the cash register and overheard someone asking the cost of the David statues. The clerk said she thought they were $1000 each, but the price was probably negotiable.

The price of the house is probably negotiable, too. Originally, it was listed at $2.4 million but now it's listed at $1.795 million. It's hard for me to imagine who will buy it. I'm not sure it's a tear down, but it would need a gut overhaul if purchased by anyone who didn't like marble floors and soiled white carpet. It's allegedly 7 bedrooms and 4800 sq ft on a third of an acre. Some rooms were closed off, but it didn't seem that big.

Next weekend, expect to see Norwood's clothes and kitchen stuff for sale. We were told they didn't have time to get everything sorted before this weekend. It's definitely worth the trip, and I bet there will still be a few Davids left for purchase.

While Norwood seemed upbeat, there was a strange, dark vibe in the house. I felt my previous celeb garage sale experience at Pam Anderson's sale was more fun. Maybe Pam's shabby chic furntiure is just easier on the eyes than a giant Michael Jackson glove?

You can see all my pics here.

See the estate sale info, with lots more pics.

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Rocky Horror 35th Anniversary Show

Thursday's all-star tribute to The Rocky Horror Picture Show was a night out that I am going to remember for a long, long time. It was definitely one of those "only in LA" events, and it was all for a great cause - The Painted Turtle, a camp for special needs kids.

Lou Adler, who produced the movie, put the evening together, and called in some favors from many of his famous friends to put together an all-star cast that accompanied the shadow cast. What made this a must-see for me was the inclusion of Jack Nicholson, who shared the narrator role with Danny DeVito. To my knowledge, Jack hasn't performed on stage since his high school plays, so this was really special to see. Jack and Lou have sat next to each other at Laker games for over 30 years, so I imagine that friendship plus the good cause prompted Jack to get involved.

The event took place at The Wiltern. Dave and I were running a bit late so didn't have any time before the show to mingle and check out everyone's great costumes. We came dressed as Time Warp party guests. Upon arrival, we got t-shirts and quickly made our way to the balcony where the show was about to begin.

Adler and director Kenny Ortega (best known for his work with Michael Jackson, including This Is It) did a terrific job of staging the show in a way that paid appropriate homage to the movie and the cult experience of the movie. The movie played on a big screen, and an all-star shadow cast reenacted it on stage (the all-star cast appears on the new blu-ray and is comprised of the best shadow cast members from around the world). Then they'd pause the movie to have the celebrities come out and actually speak the lines or sing the songs live, sometimes on their own and sometimes accompanied by the shadow cast.

Matthew Morrison and Lea Michelle kicked things off as Brad and Janet, fresh from the Rocky Horror episode of Glee. Nicole Scherzinger of The Pussycat Dolls was a sexy usher. Then there was a huge ovation for Jack Nicholson, who came onstage and settled into an easy chair for the opening narration. Listening to Jack read again reminded me of listening to my old audio cassette of him narrating The Elephant's Child - if you can find this, it's really cool, with Bobby McFerrin doing the music. They won a Grammy for it. Personally, I could listen to Jack read the phone book.

The second narrator was Danny DeVito, who instructed us on how to dance the Time Warp. Evan Rachel Wood played Magenta and Lucas Grabeel (High School Musical) was Riff Raff. Melora Hardin was Columbia. Most of the audience got up and tried to do the dance, although it wasn't easy being packed into theater seats.

Julian McMahon (Nip / Tuck) made a great Frank N. Furter. He really got into it and seemed to be totally comfortable in the costume. He wasn't dreaming it; he was being it. My only regret about the evening was that our seats were in the balcony. I wish I hadnt cheaped out and had sat down closer. It was hard to tell who the celebs were from our vantage point, and we weren't able to pick up a program until after the show. We totally missed Ricki Lake, and only noticed her during the curtain call (and I'm not sure who she played).

Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost) knocked it out of the park as Eddie. He can really belt. And George Lopez was daring as Dr. Scott, sporting the fishnets. There were some audio issues during his scenes and part of his dialogue was lost.

Jack and Danny returned to the stage to do the final narration together, to another big ovation.

Lou Adler brought everyone out for a curtain call and talked a little about The Painted Turtle. He then surprised us by calling up a couple of notable folks from the audience: Barry Bostwick and Tim Curry. The theater went nuts for Tim and the shadow cast on stage was truly starstruck. Then everybody did the Time Warp one more time, although Tim and Jack slinked off stage.

There was a costume ball afterwards, catered by Wolfgang Puck. Admission was $500, so we passed on that. We had a terrific time. I hadn't seen the movie in a few years, and it's always good to revisit it. I have been feeling a bit down lately about the lack of creative output in my life, and the movie reminded me that I just need to get off my butt and do it. Don't dream it; be it. I've been singing that everyday since the show.

Thanks to Lou Adler for putting together such a spectacular event!

Click here for the zap2it.com photo gallery from the show.

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Nuts for Mutts 2009: The Quest for Shade

Hello fans,

I've come to realize I am not content with the 15 minutes of fame I received from being on Who Gets the Dog. Therefore, I'm always seeking the spotlight. Thus, I implore Coolia to register me for the Nuts for Mutts dog show each year. It's a fundraiser for New Leash on Life animal rescue. As a rescue dog myself, I heartily support the cause.

The dog show takes place at Pierce College in Woodland Hills. Even a D-list Dog like myself rarely ventures into "The Valley," but I make an exception for this show. The show inevitably happens on a boiling hot day, because, well, most days are boiling hot in The Valley.

Friends, you know that I am delicate, and my albino skin cannot take much direct sunlight, so today was a challenge for me. It was already hot when we arrived at 9:30am, and temps later climbed into the 90s. My first category was Best Smile. I refused to drink water before the event because I know I have to be panting in order to have a big smile. Being a star requires suffering and sacrifice. I thought the competition was fierce as every dog was panting and therefore smiling, but it turned out we all advanced to the Finals by default. There were only 10 dogs competing (out of possibly 25 slots) and 10 dogs get to go to the Finals. I consider this a rather hollow victory. I also noticed my teeth are getting a bit yellow as I'm now 5 years old. It may be time for Lumineers.

I took a break to relax in the shade with some of Coolia's friends, including Nerdia and BFF who brought along my good friend Franz. Franz was not competing, but he came to cheer me on. It always does a competitor good to have friendly faces in the crowd.

Next up for me was "Most Handsome - Medium Breed." This should be easy for me as I'm medium and damn handsome. I did notice I was up against some other pretty attractive dogs, including Bentley who was quite unusual, being half Bassett Hound and half English Bulldog. There were 12 dogs in the category and 10 of us advanced to the Finals - including me! The judge called me a stud. Coolia pointed out that Kimberly Caldwell, former American Idol contestant, was on hand for the judging of the early rounds. I yawned.

8 dogs braved the heat and stuck around for the finals of Most Handsome. I pranced into the ring, feeling this was my chance to grab a blue ribbon and make it to the Best in Show round. Debra Wilson, formerly of Mad TV was once again the emcee. She and I go way back. So, I was feeling comfortable. Then, Coolia squealed with glee when she found out Rip Taylor would be judging my category. I did not know who the old man with the funny moustache was, so Coolia informed me he had hosted The $1.98 Beauty Show. This didn't lend me much clarity. The other judges for my round were Anna Friel and Ian Somerhalder of Lost. Coolia said Ian was truly the Most Handsome. Down, girl!

I turned on the charm, but Coolia distracted Rip from admiring me by telling him a story about how the first musical she ever saw as a kid was Peter Pan at the Fabulous Fox Theater in St. Louis and he played Captain Hook. Rip said he remembered the show, and "I'm still at it, honey. Check me out at riptaylor.com!" He then did briefly examine me and pronounce me cute. Anna kept her distance, but Ian seemed captured by my whimsy.

The judges conferred. The suspense was killing me. Or maybe it was the heat. Debra took the microphone to announce the winners. She began humming "Frankenstein" so I knew she was talking about me as that is one of my namesake's songs. I got Third Place! I got a yellow ribbon! First place went to Bailey, a cocker spaniel-ish dog with a luxurious coat. Bailey was nice, so I won't talk trash about him, but the long hair does make him kinda look like a girl. I'm just sayin...

I enjoyed an air-conditioned ride back to the more civilized West Side of Los Angeles, happy with my ribbon but still setting my pink eyes on the prize of Best in Show -wait 'til next year!

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Hail Meryl! Doubt Screening with the Stars

My bf invited me to an industry screening of Doubt recently, held at the Academy of Motion Pictures. As a recovering Catholic, I was very interested in seeing the film - and ecstatic at the prospect of seeing the stars in person as they were doing a Q&A.

There was a long line to get in and I almost whipped out my rosary to pray that we'd get seats. I saw Sally Field waiting in line too. Stars - they're just like us!

Fortunately, we got seats and were ushered into the huge theater. There were giant Oscar statues on stage, and Oscar winners waiting in the wings. The movie was really good, if not quite Best Picture material (see review). Meryl's performance did conjure up some scary memories of Our Lady of Good Counsel grade school for me (that's a shout out to you, Sr. Mary Michael). Philip Seymour Hoffman was a very convincing priest. Amy Adams was okay, if a bit generically Pollyanna-ish. Viola Davis was a revelation. Her scene with Meryl is like a steel cage match, and she steals it. I bet she'll get nominated for Best Supporting Actress for just that one scene.

The Q&A was really entertaining. Streep, Hoffman, Adams, Davis, and the writer/director John Patrick Shanley formed the panel. It was exciting to see them in person. They seemed very relaxed and joked a lot. Adams and Davis talked about how they campaigned hard for their roles. Adams said her former co-star Emily Blunt suggested she go for the role. Davis said she practiced her scene for 3 months before auditioning, and it definitely shows.

Shanley talked about the challenges involved in adapting his play for the screen. There are no children in the play, but they were added for the film. The world was fleshed out more, however the film still feels like a play because so much of it is face-to-face confrontations. The cast talked about the intense rehearsal process. Issues of race and sexism are prominent in the movie and were discussed in the Q&A. The film gives the viewer a lot to ruminate on.

Streep is self-effacing and charming in person and still strikingly beautiful. Hoffman looked dissheveled but, well, I'd still do him. He was the only cast member who hung around after the Q&A to mingle with the mostly-washed masses. I wanted to approach and compliment his performance. Having had an uncle who was a priest, I think I'm a good judge of the performance, and he really had the mannerisms and persona down well. But I chickened out. What can I say - I don't have Sr. Aloysius' moxy.

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Jimmy Buffett Sails Into Google

Being on the Authors @ Google team is my favorite part of my job. It's a great team of literary and music-lovin' folks who, in addition to their regular jobs, work on bringing in writers, musicians, scientists, politicians, and all sorts of notable folk to give talks.

The team at our headquarters in Mountain View hosted an event so big that I was compelled to fly up from LA on my own dime to be there: Jimmy Buffett! Buffett was in town for a show at Shoreline Ampitheater and accepted an invitation to come to Google, and as a long-time Parrothead I had to be there.

Charlie's Cafeteria was packed for the 10am event, and 10am is pretty early on Google time. Jimmy took the stage and I was surprised at his diminutiveness. I'd guess he was about 5'6" but he still seems larger than life. He looked very fit and tan. He was wearing an Izod polo and tan pants...and...shoes! He told us he dressed up for us by wearing long pants.

Buffett began by talking about his love of Google. He has Google stock, loves Google Maps, the Google homepage, likes Googling to help find song rhymes and references. He also said he was a fan of the Google culture, specifically bringing dogs to work and dressing casual.

He took off his shoes and brought two members of his Coral Reefer band - Mac MacAnally and Nadira Shakur - on stage to perform a few songs acoustically. They sounded great on "Come Monday," which Jimmy said he had written at a motel in nearby Milipitas as an ode to San Francisco. Next up was "Son of a Son of a Sailor", which has always been one of my favorites, and was enhanced with Shakur's vocal. Finally, he played the national anthem "Margaritaville" including the lost verse. It was a more subdued crowd than he was used to, I'm sure, but an appreciative one nonetheless. Click the pic below to see Jimmy singing the lost verse.

From Jimmy Buffett at Google

After the performance, he took questions from the crowd. When one googler asked how he balanced his work and family, Buffett called on his daughter Savannah Jane to answer. She said he had always made sure to make pancakes for the kids when he wasn't on tour, and that she appreciated the time he spent with her and her siblings. In talking about things that surprise him, Buffett mentioned a Margaritaville had opened up in Dubai. When he went over there for the opening he also played for some Navy troops who came to Dubai on R&R.

The event lasted about an hour, and then Buffett hung around and signed autographs and posed for photos. One googler had him sign his laptop, which was already adorned with parrot stickers. After being a parrothead for almost 20 years and seeing about 10 concerts (including a Today Show concert and a small benefit show at Sag Harbor), I was psyched to get my pic with him. He couldn't have been more gracious and friendly.

He got a campus tour and watched some demos and then enjoyed the special Margaritaville-themed lunch in Charlie's Cafe. I'm told he had a cheeseburger, of course. We sent him home with a new Google phone. Hey googlers, if the phone doesn't ring, it's Jimmy!

Check out all my photos and videos from the event.

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Meeting Jonathan Hart

I can cross another childhood crush off the list, as I got to meet Robert Wagner tonight. I grew up watching Hart to Hart. I told RJ the show made me want to move to LA. I wanted to cruise around in a convertible Mercedes with the license plate "2 Harts" just like Jonathan and Jennifer...and now I do, except it's a convertible Audi sans vanity plate. RJ was so dashing and handsome on that show, and, heck, he still looks great at age 78.

To promote his new memoir Pieces of My Heart, RJ appeared for a talk and signing at the Santa Monica Public Library. The talk was really fun because it was a conversation with his daughter Katie. His daughter Natasha was also in the crowd. Katie teased her dad about all the girls he's loved before, including the big revelation that he had a 3-year love affair with Barbara Stanwyck long before it was cool to date a cougar. They also talked about his great love - Natalie Wood - how they met when she was 18, married young, divorced, remarried, and the tragic accident. Natasha asked a question about how her dad managed to keep in touch with people over the years and be such a good friend who called his friends often. He replied that it was just due to putting in the effort. Katie reminded Natasha that their dad was one of the first people in LA to have a car phone.

RJ talked a lot about the importance of mentors in his life, including David Niven, Laurence Olivier, and Paul Newman. He was generous with his time, putting up with some crackpot questions from the audience. One guy asked why after all his years of looking impeccable and clean-shaven, RJ would allow a stubbly pic of himself to be on his book cover. The guy wouldn't let it go and said he disliked how everyone was stubbly in movies today. RJ simply said it was a picture taken on the set of The Longest Day that his daughter Courtney had suggested he use, and that it represented a time when he was in a lot of emotional turmoil due to the first break up with Natalie. I think it's a very striking photo, probably because it does seem slightly out of character (but still dashing!).

Another person in the audience brought up something that had always bothered me: how did the Harts manage to attract more friends since one of their friends died in every episode of Hart to Hart. RJ laughed and said it was quite lonely after a while since everyone was wary of befriending them. He also pointed out that it was odd that Max didn't have a room - or at least, it was never shown on the show.

There was also a sweet question from the audience, where a gal got up and said it was refreshing to see a loving couple like Jonathan and Jennifer on TV in an era of a lot of soap opera style feuding. RJ said the network always wanted more conflict on the show but they refused to cave in and kept calling each other "darling."

RJ signed books and posed for photos, chatting with everyone and being very gracious. I have to agree with Max. He's quite a guy!

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Stan Lee visits Google

Last Wednesday, Stan Lee spoke at Google Santa Monica!

It was a thrill to meet this American icon, and he was a great speaker. I'm on the Authors @ Google team, which brings in writers to speak to Googlers. Google buys books for the attendees and puts videos of the talks up on YouTube. A colleague from our headquarters in Mountain View met Stan at a convention and invited him to speak. Stan graciously agreed, provided he could come to Santa Monica since he lives nearby. And so we quickly prepared for our biggest local authors event to date!

I was impressed by how friendly and accessible Stan was, posing for pictures with Googlers (including one in a Spiderman costume) and signing autographs. I was also wowed by his energy and passion for new creative pursuits, given than he's 85 years old. He continues to create characters and develop projects through his new company, POW! Entertainment. Stan presented his new book Election Daze, a collection of wacky captions he wrote for political photos. We had about 75 people locally attend the talk and many more from 10 offices who viewed the talk via videoconference. Stan put up a photo of Obama and allowed Googlers to come up with captions. The winner took home a signed Election Daze publisher proof.

Stan took many questions from the crowd. When asked his favorite movie cameo, he said it was in Iron Man, when he had fun with his resemblance to Hugh Hefner (and got to work with some lovely blonds). He said he had been pleasantly surprised with the success of Iron Man and also approved of the latest Incredible Hulk movie and the Spiderman films. He said he hoped Fantastic Four would get on track in the next movie. He took several digs at rival DC Comics, while admitting if pressed to name a non-Marvel comic character that he liked, he would go with DC's Lobo, which he said was unusually original for them. Stan told us he was a big fan of Google and that he couldn't live without it.

Stan wanted to do a public signing, and since we can't let the masses into our office, I coordinated with the Santa Monica Public Library next door to hold the signing there. While waiting for that event to get started, we got the chance to pose for photos with Stan. My teammate Susanna told Stan, "You're being very gracious and accommodating." He replied, "I tend to be." He was affable and self-effacing. I saw Hancock the night before this event, and it occurred to me that movie probably couldn't have been made without Stan Lee, who first introduced human failings and crises into the superhero psyche.

I recommend Election Daze if you need a laugh in this tiresome election year, and I am grateful to Stan for visiting Google! Check YouTube for a video of the talk - coming soon.

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Meet the YouTube Filmmakers...and a Project Runway Legend

Last night, Google hosted a Meet the YouTube Filmmakers event at the El Rey Theater. This was the second Google party we've thrown at the El Rey (the first being our Old Vegas holiday party in 2006), and they are a great venue to work with!

The program's panelists included YouTube filmmakers Arin Crumley, Javier Prato, M dot Strange, Ben Shelton, and Francis Stokes who talked about their experiences with YouTube and the alternatives it offers for distribution and marketing for independent filmmakers. A couple Google engineers also talked about the behind-the-scenes machinations of the site.


The highlight of the night for me was meeting Vincent Libretti from Project Runway. Vincent was my favorite cast member of his season, and I wrote a tribute to him when he got kicked off. It turns out he's the neighbor of one of my colleagues, who doesn't have a TV so wasn't familiar with the show but thought Vincent was an interesting fellow.

Vincent was super-friendly, and we chatted for a bit about the reality TV experience. It sounds like it was stressful but ultimately worth it. He described many long days and tough working conditions - they were filming in NYC in the summer in un-air-conditioned workspace where the windows had to be kept shut to block the traffic noise for filming - no wonder he had some tantrums! Of course, tantrums make good reality TV. He's developing several new TV projects and still running his store.

We also talked about the everyday woman challenge he won, where the designers had to make clothes for their fellow designers mothers or sisters, many of whom did not look like models. I said the designers acted like designing for plus-sized gals was torture, and he said they were over-reacting and that he felt he was able to win that challenge because he is good at reading people and recognizing their taste and personality.

He laughed when I told him my friends and I still like to quote his catchphrases: "That turns me on!" and "That gets me off!"

I have to say - these Google parties turn me on!

Photos by Brady Walters

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Steve Martin: a Conversation with Carol Burnett

(Jan 24, 2008, at The Wilshire Theater Beverly Hills)

Imagine my glee finding Steve Martin’s latest book, Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life, sitting in a stack at a Santa Monica bookstore and discovering that it was not another piece of fiction but a biography about his long-lost life as a stand-up comedian. And here I’ve been kvetching so much about his abandonment of the art form for more well-heeled work in academic theatricals intermingled with big-budget, saccharine movie turds. (I’ll take fifty Lonely Guys any day if we can just forget that movie with Queen Latifah ever happened.

My brothers and father would re-tell scenes of The Jerk at the dinner table. I knew the entire “he hates cans!” routine before I ever watched the movie like I knew “it’s only a flesh wound” years before watching Monty Python’s Holy Grail). My brother also had the King Tut Steve Martin album which we both loved (the embezzling cat story, the France bits). However, my admiration of Martin didn’t survive past the movie Roxanne, which was so sweet it hurt my teeth. And his appearances on SNL and talk shows struck me as cold. Then he did that great Oscar hosting job and I was back yearning for his old days of stand up. Then the bad movies with too many weddings and kids and Goldie Hawn romances happened and I was put off again.

Let me tell you, Martin's new book did wonders for showing a much warmer human being. And it’s a recommended read for his insight into how a comedy act is assembled, structured and crafted over years of sweat and experimentation, also delving into what it feels like on the other side of 40-thousand fans who know your routines by heart.

Good enough. But then it was announced that Steve Martin would be talking with Carol Burnett at a special event in LA at hosted by the group Writers Bloc. I was in heaven!

The theater was huge; the event was sold out so we had to sit in the balcony where I was too far away to ask my big Steve Martin question at the Q&A, which was: As a writing team for The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, why didn’t more of Bob Einstein and Steve Martin’s early-70s brilliances end up on the show? Sonny & Cher’s show is now remembered as an amazing variety show…but not for its comedy. It’s loved for its eclectic guest roster, Bob Mackie costumes and torch musical numbers.

Even the opening monologue (the only comedic bit every discussed today) mostly succeeded on S&C chemistry. And Martin was working on some cutting-edge material at the time, his own act was about to explode. Bob Einstein was already doing Super Dave Osbourne on the John Byner show.

Asked what bits Martin did for The Smothers Bros show (one of his writing gigs before S&C), he joked that “all the best stuff you remember…I wrote that.” But alas, for the S&C show, there was no best stuff.

There was on irritating aspect of this “conversation” between Burnett and Martin and it was Carol Burnett. Press lead us to believe this would be talk about Martin’s new book. Burnett however seemed disinterested in interviewing Martin at best, dead set against asking any questions at worst, letting dead silence hang in the air instead of doing any work. She asked him probably a total of two questions, both lame. One question was who his favorite movie star was. This turned into an excuse for her to segue, with neck-breaking speed, into an anecdote about that particular movie star, Cary Grant and how Grant loved her show. Frankly, she seemed only motivated to tell Carol Burnett Show anecdotes about herself.

Her other question to Martin was about how he started out as a TV writer which only betrayed the fact that she hadn’t read the book or even done a quick IMDB or Wikipedia search for a brief timeline on his career.

To Martin’s credit, he made gentlemanly (as in gentle) attempts to keep the conversation going, respectfully taking the piss out of Burnett’s strange reluctance to engage in any real “conversation” about comedy. At one point Martin joked, “I DARE you to ask me a question.” She never really did.

And it pains me to complain about Burnett because she is one of my comedic idols along with Steve Martin and Harvey Korman. I believe The Carol Burnett Show was one of the three most influential comedies of the 70s (along with The Mary Tyler Moore Show and All in the Family) and a landmark moment for women in comedy and a variety show of superior quality. And she deserves to be knighted for that. But the truth is, she hasn’t done anything worthy of knighthood since then (although I loved her in Annie and The Four Seasons).

And I’ve heard all the Carol Burnett anecdotes many times, have taped all the reunion specials, read her autobiography (One More Time) her biography (Laughing Till It Hurts by J. Randy Taraborrelli).

Steve Martin has been far less available for public introspections of this kind. It would have garnished Burnett extra kudos for showing some interest in this comedic trailblazer she was sitting next to. Instead she came off as Hollywood, as a self-absorbed scene-stealer. And too make matters worse, her anecdotes took too long to perform. She sunk too many details into each story, making sure we knew the name of every person in the business she ever worked with or talked to. I kept thinking “can we get back to Steve please?”

On the other hand, Martin was accessible and pleasant with the fan Q&As and showed true affection for Burnett. I wished he would have showed more interest in contemporary comedians, however, when asked for his favorites. His disinterest in even knowing the names of his most recent famous co-workers felt a little isolationist.

But I’ve come a far ways if that’s the worst thing I could say about Steve Martin. His book went a long way to showing a person with flesh and feelings, portraying a modest, thankful kid from Orange County after years of seeming affected and quietly arrogant.

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Jack Nicholson at the AFI Gala - Still Crazy After All These Years

I attended the AFI 40th Anniversary Gala at the Arclight last night - 1o classic films introduced by their stars. This was a pretty amazing lineup: Billy Crystal and Rob Reiner introducing When Harry Met Sally, Kirk Douglas for Spartacus, Julie Andrews for The Sound of Music, Angela Lansbury for Beauty and the Beast, George Lucas for Star Wars, Warren Beatty for Bonnie and Clyde, Tippi Hedren for The Birds, Clint Eastwood for Unforgiven, Sylvester Stallone for Rocky, and, last but not least, Jack Nicholson introducing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Jack has been my primary celebrity obsession since I was in junior high, and since I moved to LA four years ago I'd seen him in person three times: twice at Laker games, once at the premiere of Something's Gotta Give. When the tickets for this AFI gala sold out instantly, I resorted to overpaying on ebay. I just couldn't miss the chance to hear him speak.

We arrived early and were immediately thwarted by security who forced us to take the long way around the theater so as not to soil the red carpet. It was clear, and not surprising, that the common people were going to be sequestered from the stars.

Once inside, we made a beeline to the auditorium to secure one of the limited number of official souvenir programs. We then grabbed free popcorn and sodas. We hit the bar. We didn't see any stars even though showtime was only about 30 minutes away. We moved to a spot near the lobby but security guards were pretty determined to keep the area clear. I did get to see Jack walk in, but I didn't see any of the other stars. Lurking around outside by the red carpet might have been a better strategy but, really, I saw who I came to see.

The movie started almost an hour late. Jean Picker Firstenberg, AFI President and CEO, came onstage and apologized for the lateness and assured us it wasn't Jack's fault (true - he was about 15 minutes early). Maybe she had to introduce all the screenings or something, we surmised. She introduced Jack, and the crowd leapt to its feet. Jack looked kinda rumpled and his hair was all askew. One TMZ commentor likened his hairstyle to a baby orangutan.

Jack launched into a rapid-fire free association of stories about making the picture. I love it when movie stars refer to movies as "pictures." It's just so Old Hollywood. Some highlights of his comments:

• Kirk Douglas played the role on Broadway but by the time the film was ready to be made, Kirk was 60, and his producer son Michael deemed him too old for the role. Jack said Kirk still gives him a hard time about it, even that night on the red carpet. (I guess Kirk got the last laugh - he got the Cinerama Dome for his screening)
• He said he'd spoken to Louise Fletcher recently and praised her performance and her cold blue eyes.
• He also said he'd spoken to ex-flame Anjelica Huston recently and recalled she was in the film in the scene where the inmates hijack a boat and go fishing. I hadn't realized that and if you blink you'll miss it - she's an extra in the crowd scene as the boat returns to shore.
• It was the 2nd movie to win all the major Oscars (picture, actor, actress, director, screenplay). The first was It Happened One Night and since Cuckoo's Nest only Silence of the Lambs has done it.
• As a struggling writer/actor, Jack had tried to option the rights to Ken Kesey's book but got trumped by Kirk Douglas. When he got the role, he knew the material well and gave a few suggestions such as "cutting out the Big Indian's monologues".
• Good friends Jack and Danny DeVito met on this film and Jack was impressed by DeVito's improvisation of throwing the basketball at the fence during the basketball scene.
• Jack said his own improvisation in the scene where the Doctor (a real shrink, not an actor) does his intake interview was one of his favorite improv scenes and that he had been showing off that day because his daughter Jennifer was on the set.
• Scatman Crothers kept them entertained on the set and convinced Jack to get him roles in 2 other films - The Fortune and The Shining.
• He expressed admiration for his stuntman who executed the acrobatic climb over the razor-wire fence.
  
• He told some story about his dog and coming home to find duck feathers all over the yard one day. Like I said, free associating.
  

Midway through, Jack asked, "Is this boring?" We all yelled out "NO!" He said he had been told he was only supposed to speak 3 minutes but he probably spoke for 10 minutes. It'd be criminal to hold Jack to 3 minutes!

Once he finished, he left the auditorium and the film began. I quickly came down from the high of seeing Jack and remembered why I hadn't watched this film since high school - it's freakin' bleak. My friend pointed out that watching it and knowing the outcome is even harder because you find yourself willing the characters to do whatever's necessary to avert the ending. But still, it's a powerful film - and a powerhouse performance - everything from the bold improvised World Series game... to the thoughtful, wordless expressions on his face as Billy and Candy have their date in the other room and he's on the verge of passing out, waiting to escape... to the final rage against the big nurse.

Thanks, AFI. Thanks, Jack. Nights like this remind me why I live in LA.


Read my sordid tale of Jack Nicholson obsession on Ape Culture

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Butt-Sniffing Celebrities

I had another celebrity sighting a week or so ago while summering in my vacation beach house in Venice. Ed Helms or somebody who looks like Ed Helms (not sure…I’m short and couldn’t get a good look-see) discussed me in front of my Auntie Nerdia.

I was out doing my morning constitutional when this person or person-look-a-like came up to a car parked near us and asked Nerdia what I was (I get that a lot), then said I was wirey but cute (I also get that a lot). I never know how to take that; but seeing as it came out of the mouth of a possible celebrity, I guess I can give him the benefit of the doubt. However, unlike Sherrif Lee Backa in LA, I am not partial to show people. The grandfather of Ed Helms never contributed to my welfare in any way. I got no two-day reprieve when I was stuck in an LA dog jail, waiting to be rescued by Perfect Pets. So I’m no LA celeb-snob butt-sniffer by nature…although that is the nature of my species.

Ed plays Andy in The Office (US version). Nerdia and Coolia watch The Office and sometimes I look on. Ed was funny…especially that time he was floating down the lake in a psudo-fat wrestling outfit…yeah, that was funny. Nerdia kept rewinding it.

But honestly, watching a piece of furniture is just not my thang, you know. (One of my favorite writers, David Foster Wallace wrote about that once.) I'd rather be out sniffing dog-butt. That's where the real theater is.

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A Dog's Life on the D-List

Coolia, Nerdia, and my BFF invited me along for brunch on Saturday. I suggested we go to Hans Rockenwagner's new Venice hot spot, 3 Square Cafe, because it has a lovely patio where I can sit with my peeps. The restaurant was bustling, and one rather brusque waitress told me I was in the way, blocking the aisle. Another waitress quickly followed up and said I was not in the way at all and that I was "the cutest dog in the world."

As I was begging for Coolia to toss me some weisswurst, I heard the brusque waitress call out, "Jake, over here." Two guys walked by tailed by a german shepherd. I immediately recognized the dog was Atticus Gyllenhaal and went to say hello. Atticus sniffed me for one second and then kept walking. Apparently, he wasn't familiar with my work on Who Gets The Dog?

I tell you, life as a D-List dog is full of disappointment. You may remember I frolicked with Mindy Cohn's dogs, fellow residents of the D-List. But Atticus was far too A-List for me. Coolia and Nerdia were too busy staring at Atticus' owner Jake to even notice that I was sniffed and snubbed.

Sometimes the only thing that fills the emptiness is weisswurst, and luckily, there was plenty of it raining down on me.

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Grindhouse Opening Night Madness

Friday night was one of the those nights that makes me very glad I live in LA. I decided to go to Grauman's Chinese Theater to see Grindhouse on its opening night. The Chinese is my favorite place to see a movie, and I knew Grindhouse would be truly killer on that giant screen.

Luckily, we bought our tickets ahead of time, because this 8pm showing was completely sold out. When I arrived a little after 7pm, there was a line stretching two blocks around the building of people waiting to get in. I joined the line and waited for my friends to show up.

Around 7:30pm, we got to the front door of the theater and one friend was still on his way, so I sent the 2nd friend in to save seats. This proved to be a daunting task. People were saving seats and guarding them fiercely. One guy actually brought his own roll of masking tape and taped an entire row to save it. When my friend tried to sit in that sacred row, a fight nearly erupted.

As I waited for my friend outside, I noticed a crowd near the entrance to the theater. Quentin Tarantino was there, greeting fans with hugs.
Once I got inside, I noticed Rosario Dawson and other cast members were also in attendance. The crowd went nuts when Quentin walked in. It was a kick to watch the movie and hear Quentin and the cast clapping and yelling things out. Only in LA!


Grindhouse is spectacular. I can't wait to see it a second time. I went to three nights of the New Beverly Theater's Grindhouse festival, a festival of films handpicked by Quentin from his own collection celebrating the inspirations for his new movie, and the movies I saw there were a great primer from the new Grindhouse. The two films are neatly packaged with fake vintage trailers by directors like Rob Zombie and Eli Roth that are so gruesome and hilarious that I won't spoil them for you by going into detail. There are also vintage title cards, warnings that the film may have missing reels, deliberate scratches on the prints, all of which work to set the mood for the pseudo-70s exploitation fare.

The first film, Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, was my favorite. It's sort of a zombie movie, except the zombies aren't really zombies but medical experiment mutants who move and eat human flesh, as zombies are wont to do. The cast is great. Sure, Rose McGowan can't really act, but that's kind of the point. She looks great and gets a machine gun for a prosthetic leg - does she really need to do more than that? Freddy Rodriguez is a strange choice for leading man, but he mostly pulls it off, and Josh Brolin does a good job channelling his father's performance from The Amityville Horror. The casting of B-movie regulars Michael Biehn and Jeff Fahey lends authenticity, and the gore never stops.

Quentin's film, Death Proof, gets off to a slow start, with too much not-particularly-smart dialogue from 4 bad-ass chicks. Once the girls piss off Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, things take off. Russell manages to be hilarious and scary. His encounter with a second, tougher set of girls morphs into a chase scene that rivals The Road Warrior for sheer outrageousness and awesome stunt work (kudos to Zoe Bell, Uma's stuntperson in Kill Bill, who plays herself). The movie recovers from the slow start to emerge as a fun "girls who kick ass" and "redneck car chase" genre mash-up.

My only quibble with Grindhouse is that Quentin had to insert himself in acting roles in both movies, and the role in Planet Terror is too big. I find this really self-indulgent and whenever I see him acting, it just takes me right out of the movie. I wish he could be like Hitchcock and just show up in the background, but that would require him to be quiet, and I think that would be impossible. I love ya, QT, I'm just sayin'...

Believe me - Grindhouse is a tremendously entertaining 3-hour experience, even if you don't hear Quentin laughing at his own jokes in the background of your theater.

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