Wednesday, November 22, 2006

More Celebrity Fear

Due to a move, I’m behind on reviewing Celebrity Paranormal Project. No matter. Every episode is the same. The big-talking gal always performs the biggest histrionics in dark, shows over-involve re-enactments of crimes scenes, overactive ghost-meters and spirit writing, and the final séance is repetitive and freaks everyone and they high-tail it out of there much the same way.

Episode two cast:
Rachel Hunter: from the reality show that is Rod Stewart’s Parade of Blonde Wives.
Godfrey: from Zoolander; for a comedian showed no sense of humor.
Traci Bingham: from Baywatch; misbehaved on Surreal Life; wears too much makeup for this show.
Tony Little: “America’s Personal Trainer;” most annoying character.
Ethan Zohn: from Survivor: Africa. Seemed like a normal guy.

Location: Warson Asylum for the criminally insane.
Ghost: Pearl, had a lobotomy, is pissed off.

Here are the stats:

Screamers/Losers: Godfrey left Rachel in the dark rubber room. He gets the biggest Wuss award.
Bawling Girls: Traci Bingham whined: “I can’t do it” a lot.
Kick-ass Girl: Even when scared, Rachel kept her cool and never cried or crapped out on a challenge. She also worked hard to calm Traci. I guess if the ghost of Rod Stewart’s dead career doesn’t scare you, nothing else will.
Bad Behavior: Rachel says F**k ad naseum.

Realistic Scare: On Rachel’s recording device, you can allegedly hear the mumblings of Pearl.

Episode three cast:
Joe Piscopo: 80s comedian from Saturday Night Live.
Mariel Hemingway: Granddaughter of Ernest, bad 80s movie actress.
Picaboo Street: Olympian.
Tonya Coley: from Real World
Michael Bergin: from Baywatch. Baywatch is the most over-represented show on CPP.

Location: A Prison

This was the most boring episode of them all. I took barely any notes.

Here are the stats:

Kick-ass Girl: Mariel
Bad Behavior: All of them were annoying in the home-base banter. Realistic Scare: Mariel having to walk the upper floor of Cell Block C: truly scary.

Episode four cast:
Traci Lords: show calls her actor. Absolutely no mention of her porn past. Traci had opinionated thoughts about Kimberly going to be the scardy-cat. The reverse was the case.
Gilbert Gottfried: comedian, voice of the AFLAC duck; really funny in the first 15 minutes of the show.
Jerimiah Trotter: NFL linebacker; true gentleman; kept his cool.
Kimberley Caldwell: TV host – don’t have a clue who she is.
Evan Farmer: TV personality – don’t have a clue who he is.

Location: Warson insane asylum in New England.
Ghost: Ghost of Ray, a violent schizophrenic who committed suicide here.

This was the best cast. They all showed affectionate camaraderie from the beginning when they made horror film references walking in. Maybe a love connection was make between Evan and Kimberly. I loved how they all gave love to Ray, the tortured ghost, as they left, too.

Here are the stats:

Screamers/Losers: Kimberly screamed the loudest but it was Gilbert Gottfried who silently chickened out at the end.
Bawling Girls: Traci Lords freaked out a lot but to her credit, she kept trying and admitted at the end (the first celebrity to do so on the show) that it was probably all in her own head.
Kick-ass Girl: Kimberly got seriously freaked at the end but she never ran and she always laughed about the situations. Kimberly also told Traci “you can do it” when Traci was too scared to sit in the old wheel chair.
Realistic Scare: None

Episode five cast:
David Carradine
: from Kung Fu and Kill Bill; he didn’t meld with the group and seemed anti-social. He brought his flute to the initial meeting and said “reality is an unsubstantiated rumor,” something people smoking pot say.
Mia St. John: Pro boxer. Had opinionated thoughts that Bridget would be the biggest wimp. The inverse turned out to be the case.
Andrew Firestone: one of the Bachelors.
Coolio: Rapper; very down to earth and smart. When he arrived at the mill he said “thank God for hip-hop” or he’d of had to work in a mill like this.
Bridget Marquardt: Playboy model; admitted thrill-seaker.

Location: Mill
Ghost: John Tanner, tyrant boss hired by owner. This location actually had the best backstory. The boss terrorized the employees and had a torrid affair with the owner's wife. John mysteriously died when his arm got ripped out by a machine and he bled to death. This was days after the owner found out about the affair. Later the owner was found dead mysteriously and violently. His body was found mangled in a picker machine. His arm no where to be found. There was no power in the Mill at that time.

Here are the stats:

Screamers/Losers: Mia. Likes to point fingers but she is the biggest wuss.
Kick-ass Girl: Bridget does the scariest tasks. The other’s call her tough. Says she didn’t feel anything.
Realistic Scare: None

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