American Idol - Coolia Rates the Top Eight Boys

Performances and Most Embarrassing Moments

Luke Menard - "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"

Luke's most embarrassing moment occurred when his sister dressed him in a tutu and took a Polaroid. His second most embarrassing moment was this performance. He must have had a jitterbug in his brain when he made this song choice. Egad! This brings back memories of being in 6th grade and convincing my mom to buy me a "Choose Life" T-shirt from Spencer's Gifts so I could tell the world I was anti-abortion (and a Wham! fan). Luke has the vocal ability to pull off the George Michael high notes, but he doesn't have any of George's charisma or fashion sense (I disagree with Paula - maybe some orange shorts would have brightened up his Gap look). A handsome face isn't enough. After this performance, I'm fairly sure Luke is gonna go go.

David Archuleta - "Another Day in Paradise"

Ugh, of all the bad Phil Collins songs (and they are legion), I hate this one the most. Honestly, David, even "Sussudio" or "Billy, Don't You Lose My Number" would have been preferable. Despite the hideous song choice, David delivered another confident performance - switching smoothly from a tender piano opening to standing before the microphone and bringing it home. I agree with Simon, though, that he should lighten it up and have some fun. And I could have done without his slightly preachy explanation at the end that he chose the song to educate us all about homelessness. That all seemed kind of calculating to me and made me worry David might slip into Melinda-esque fakin' the humble.

Danny Noriega - "Tainted Love"

Danny's embarrassing moment came at a movie theater when his friend tripped him and he totally fell down the stairs in front of his crush and it was all TMTH (too much to handle)! How much do I love Danny? Enough to vote for him 10 times tonight because I'm worried he might be too gay for America. I loved his sassy performance of this new wave classic, and I also dig his purple streaks. He just brings a lot of energy and attitude to the show, and I don't even mind it when he snaps back at Simon. Is it me, or was he flirting with Ryan before they went to commercial?

David Hernandez - "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"

David's most embarrassing moment came when news of his past as a stripper at a gay club leaked. OK, actually it was when he did a photo shoot and didn't realize he had a booger hanging out of his nose. Kudos to David for taking on a tough Celine tune and delivering it with the bombast required for any Jim Steinman tune. I thought he did sound flat in a few spots, but overall, a strong performance.

Michael Johns - "Don't You Forget About Me"

Hey Randy, this song was by Simple Minds not INXS. Are you sure you're qualified to judge this thing, Dawg? Michael made the perfect song choice, and even if The Breakfast Club really doesn't hold up when you watch it as an adult, this song still does. Michael delivered it with a lot of swagger. I wonder, though, if he might be better fronting a band rather than going solo?

David Cook - "Hello"

Well, the judges slobbered all over this, but it really didn't work for me. It reminded me of a bad SNL parody, like when the Sweeney Sisters used to do their medleys. I just think the song is too cheesy to hold up to a serious rock ballad arrangement. You know, even if you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. He's up there pleading "Hello...is it me you're looking for..." and all I can think of is that video with the blind girl sculpting Lionel's head out of clay. I will give David credit for doing something different and taking a chance, but I felt like he was trying really hard to be Daughtry.

Jason Castro - "Hallelujah"

Jason had the best embarrassing moment story of the night - he was on a date and went to tie his hair back and one of his dreads broke off in his hand. He also had my favorite vocal of the night. He picked a challenging song that wasn't a typical Idol ditty, and he brought a lot of emotion and realness to his performance. He really does make it look easy.

Chikezie - "She Fills Me Up"

I couldn't decide if I liked Chikezie's outfit or if he looked like he was trying out for a spot in Boys II Men. Anyway, it's still an improvement from that red suit. I thought Chikezie did a solid job with a demanding song, although he was pitchy in spots. However, I don't know if he has the personality to go much further.

Predictions

Going home - Luke and Chikezie (I hope it's not Danny!)