But Can They Sing? - 11/06/05

In case I didn't make myself clear last week, the answer is still, "No!" This episode was merciful because 3 contestants were sent home before they could sing - Myrka Dellanos (she didn't sing well and she's even more obscure than the other "stars"), Kim Alexis (she sang the worst, in my opinion, and her looks aren't holding up that well), and Joe Pantoliano (not the worst by a long shot - most likely a victim of age discrimination and a too-small crossover audience of Sopranos viewers). An interesting phenonmenon happened on this show - the boys decided to exploit themselves as sex objects to get votes. I believe this means the women's rights movement has finally come into its own, and Hillary can get elected president!! First, Michael Copon, dressed in a tight leather ensemble that recalled Elvis' Comeback Special, bared his chest toward the end of his number. Next, mumble-voiced Antonio Sabato, Jr. immediately removed his hoodie and sang his entire song shirtless. I guess this was so we could see how he was using his diaphragm. The final member of the beefcake triumvirate was Carmine Gotti Agnello who first told the host that his gameplan was to take off shirt until he decided not to do it because Michael and Antonio had done it first. But then, instead of taking the high road, Carmine ripped his shirt off and threw it into the crowd (not that I'm complaining, or anything). Morgan Fairchild talked her way through "I Will Survive" - next week, she may have to strip down to her Old Navy underwear in order to survive. The likeable Larry Holmes struggled with "Let's Get It On", looking like a poor suitor waiting for Cyrano to feed him the lyrics. Somehow Bai Ling survived the axe and came out with a freaky version of "Call Me" - she's the Asian Bjork. I hope she sticks around until the end because her wackiness and the boys' washboard abs are enough to keep me tuning in, as long as the "mute" button on my remote is working.