American Idol - 1/24/06

"North Carolina, come on and raise up. Take your shirt off. Spin it like a Helicopter." Those anthemic lyrics by Petey Pablo make a lot more sense than most of the Greensboro auditions we saw this week. The tear-jerking stories of Kellie Pickler (I'm a roller skating waitress and my pa's in jail!) and Kendra Winston (I got 3 kids by two different baby daddys and I lived in 42 foster homes!) worked on me as well as most of the audience and made me look forward to all the heartwarming Behind-the-Olympics bios we'll be seeing soon. Idol format is perhaps too predictable - whenever we're shown a tear-jerking bio before someone sings, we can be assured that person's audition will end with "You're through to the next round. Off you go." Kellie "Pick Me" Pickler resembled Carrie Underwood but was instantly more likeable. Rhonetta (right) was tonight's breakout star, as her "no, you didn't!" scene was teased throughout this episode and saved for the final 5 minutes. Miss Thang simply could not sing, but she didn't take that news too well, threatening to take Paula out to the parking lot for some hair-pulling and nail-gouging. Fortunately, Paula was out of earshot of Rhonetta's most withering insults like "she hasn't put out a record in like 20 years" or she might have been tempted to overdose on her painkillers.