Monday, June 08, 2009

I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here: Demons Were Coming Out of Me!

I really don't know where to begin.

When I heard that Sanjaya, Speidi, and Janice Dickinson were all going to be on this show, I knew I would be wasting time and brain cells on it.


My mind is just boggling at the religious conversion of Heidi and Spencer. I've watched most of The Hills, and I've never seen Heidi talk about her faith, other than wanting to get married in a church. I've seen her invoke Jesus on TMZ a few times, but usually she was praying to Jesus to get a record deal or something similar, with her tongue firmly implanted in her cheek (sorry, couldnt help putting "Heidi" and "implanted" in the same sentence). Now all of a sudden she is professing she wants to be the next Mother Theresa. Does she realize she would have to wear the same outfit everyday? She said her life's purpose is to do Jesus' will and He will make her His instrument. Hmm, somehow I don't think Jesus' big plan for her involves working for SBE and planning big parties.


Then we got to see Spencer baptized by Stephen Baldwin. And Heidi and Spencer spent a "dark night of the soul" in The Lost Chamber. This was the test they had to endure to be allowed back on the show. They prayed the whole time and Spencer had visions. Stephen Baldwin thinks Spencer's conversion is real, but the rest of the cast seems to have doubts. Yeah, I'm a Doubting Thomas about this, too.


Janice Dickinson is starting to look like the Cat Woman because she's had so much work. It's actually hard to look at most of the celebrities without makeup. Janice and Sanyaya have developed an odd bond.


Who's coming off the best? Well, John Salley has been pretty fun and stable, but he did go a bit far in name-calling with Janice. He had the classic line, "If Janice was on fire, I wouldn't pee on her." Frangela had some funny moments, but they mostly just laid around on their cots. Lou Diamond Phillips is strong but kinda boring. Patty Blagojevich is surprisingly normal.

Amazingly, I'd say Sanjaya is coming off the best. He has thrown himself in with gusto, cut his fauxhawk into a real mohawk, and embraced his primal self. He's eaten bugs and bull testicles. He's even been nurturing to Janice. Now Heidi may be aspiring to be a saint, but I think that act shows Sanjaya already is one.

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