Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Edgar Endorses Left-wing TV Show

Since my people were too busy to entertain me to the extent I require, I was forced to watch some late night television last week. As it is hard for me to surf the TV (I paw the remote and chaos ensues), I loitered for most of Friday nite on the Sundance Channel. And happy hamburger-flavored-Alpo I did because I came across a new show I absolutely lapped up: The Al Franken Show! Akin to Coolia’s favorite radio program, The Howard Stern Show, this is a televised version of Franken’s Air America radio broadcast. I LOVED the democratic doggerel, the snappy commentary, the feisty repartee. Last Friday nite, I stretched out on my back and watched the entire episode upside down. Franken called the number for 1-800-KATRINA in order to investigate why The White House didn’t or couldn’t secure the number for Bush’s late-week dig-America-out-of-the-bone-hole-he-put-us-in PR campaign. I mean, come on…if the leader of the free world can’t secure the 1-800-KATRINA number, what’s a mutt to think?? Anywho, turns out the number belonged to a call-in sex-talk service. Franken even spoke with a woman there named Katrina, I kid you not. And here’s the rub, Katrina, the phone-sex-hooker, (she was from Alabama even), had absolutely no sympathy for those poor hurricane evacuees from Louisiana and Mississippi. In fact, Katrina refused to help victims at all and said so with a kind of disdain in her voice I usually associate with dogs who’ve been forced to inhale finger nail polish remover. This was one bitter bitch. She claimed hurricane victims were getting nothing but an unprecedented amount of free stuff on the FEMA gravy train. She paid her taxes and she wasn’t getting no stinkin’ free milkbones! And here are the lessons I, The Edgar Winter Dog, have learned from watching this episode. The first is one eloquently pointed out by Al himself which is so much for the phone-sex-hooker with the heart of gold. The other is a lesson I figured out myself: there are some poor half-wits out there with such a low self-esteem that even completely wiped-out, devastated victims of a natural disaster can make them bitterly envious. Existence can’t get much lower than that. Get comfortable on your sinking Karma ship, Katrina; you’re gonna be drowning on it for a looong time.

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