OK, I'm really not digging the "nice" Idol. Simon is hugging contestants now? People who are terrible need to be reassured that they are good people? Mediocre folks are sent to Hollywood?!? 24 folks made it to Hollywood from Dallas, but we only got to meet 10 of them.
- Jessica Brown - She used to be a meth head but she turned her life around. She did a nice job making a Pretenders' tune her own.
- Alaina Whitaker - Resembling Carrie Underwood, Alaina sang "Stronger." Paula thought she was breathy and Simon found her to be a bit arrogant, but they passed her through anyway.
- Pia "Zpia" Easley - I liked Pia. She had a sorta mohawk hairstyle and kinda resembled "Mandinka"-era Sinead O'Conner. The judges praised her for being a backup singer who actually had confidence.
- Brandon Green - OK, the dude carries around a collection of his peeled fingernails in a baggie. Yet, he's cute and delivered a soulful rendition of "Rich Girl." I like him - he's a bit off in a good way, like my boy Taylor Hicks.
- Kayla Hatfield - Kayla was in a terrible car accident and nearly lost her face, but she's bounced back and is happy as a clam. I thought her Janis Joplin impression was horrendous. I really thought it was a joke audition and then she was given a golden ticket.
- Kady Malloy - She does vocal impressions of Britney, Rascal Flatts, etc, and she's really good at it. She's good when she's just herself too. Plus she's cute. Simon said she was the best they'd seen yet, and I definitely expect her to make the Top 24.
- Kyle Ensley - An uber-nerd who wants to be the next president, Kyle delivered a mediocre Queen impression. And then he received another pity ticket to Hollywood.
- Colton Swon - Colton has the name and the look to be in a country music boy band. Paula was drooling, but I was underwhelmed.
- Drew Poppelreiter - He's a cute farm boy who sings country songs to pass the time whilst driving his tractor. I thought his voice was very ordinary, but he made it through.
- Nina Shaw - She's a hottie, with legs that could rival Haley Scarnato's if showcased in similar hot pants. Simon thought she was old-fashioned, but the other two voted her in.
The Bad and The Ugly
- Gregory and Mia Tobias - They were so deadpan in their operatic delivery that I thought of Wayne's World's "Bohemian Rhapsody."
- Bruce Dickson - Bruce was a cute 19-year-old who's never kissed a girl because he promised his dad he would save himself for his bride. I actually thought he sang better than some who made it. And wouldn't it have been fun to see some girl like Antonella seduce him during Hollywood week?
- Douglas Davidson - He had a disturbing story about his dad telling him he hated him because he sang so well. Douglas tried to sing "Living on a Prayer" and several other songs before security dragged him away.
- Tammy Tuzinski - She was very quiet and said she listened to Celine Dion everyday. She then declared she was singing "Power of Love" before actually singing "If You Ask Me To." It wasn't good, dude.
- Kyle Reinneck - "I'm a rocker. I'm pretty rockin," said Kyle. He wore "guyliner" and carried a poster with pictures of the kids he works with, but the judges passed.
- Reynaldo Lapuz - AKA "The Birdman" - Reynaldo wore a feathered hat with Simon's name on it and a cape, and he sang an original composition "We Are Brothers Forever." He also declared that Simon was "heaven's chosen." Perhaps The Birdman will be this season's William Hung?