Monday, September 22, 2008

Recapping The Hills - Lo and Audrina: New BFFs

This week's episode begins with Audrina actually in the front house, helping LC pack for a trip to Italy. She and Lo say they will be bonding in LC's abscence. Wow, I guess that make-up conversation between LC and Audrina where nothing much was said but there were a lot of blank looks and running mascara really did change things!

Steph comes over to see Audrina and says that Doug has asked her on a date. Audrina advises Steph to ask LC's permission before going on the date, but Steph retorts, "Um, how would she find out? (blank stare). Audrina pauses with a blank stare and says "I don't know." Hello, people, everything you do is recorded for this major hit television show - Lauren could quite possibly find out!

Meanwhile at Bolthouse, Heidi tells her only friend Kimberley that she's going to bring Spencer to their X Games party where she will be pretending to work. "Like, we can stay in when we're old," Heidi says.

Lo and Audrina have lunch at Fred Segal. I have a quick fantasy about the ivy on the wall swallowing them up. After the big decision of what club to go to that evening is made (Goa wins), Audrina tells Lo about Steph and Doug. "Why would you want sloppy seconds?" Audrina says, in an unusually catty moment. Apparently, Lo is already having an influence on her.

As usual, since LA seems to only have 3 clubs, Heidi and Spencer show up at Goa where Lo and Audrina are hanging out. Audrina tells Heidi about Doug and Steph. Heidi is all outraged and says she would never do that to her friend and that there are a hundred million guys in this city. That's true, Heidi, so go find a decent one! Lo tries to bury her scowl in her appletini during this exchange, but it remains quite visible.

Steph talks about her dilemma with Spencer who gleefully tells her that LC will freak out and cut her off. At the X Games party, Audrina and Justin Bobby hang with Spencer and Heidi. Spencer tries to make conversation by stating that "The Dark Knight" should have been called "The Joker." Wait, aren't they looking for a replacement for Roger Ebert? Alert the media. Audrina wants to talk about Steph and Doug again because she can only fit one thing in her brain per episode. Audrina suggests she and Heidi should do lunch and continue reconciling. Who is being more duplicitous: (a) Steph, (b) Audrina, (c) Both - they're just using LC to be on TV.

Doug and Steph go to dinner. Doug says he didn't tell Brody they were going out, and Steph says she didn't tell LC because LC is in Italy and she wouldn't know what to do if someone answered the phone and said "Pronto." Because there are only 5 restaurants in LA, Brody's mom happens to be at this very same restaurant - uh oh, busted! I guess it's true that LA can be a small town. I mean, I have seen Ron Jeremy out at clubs twice.

At Epic, Audrina has coffee with Chiara and talks about bonding with Lo. She then tells Chiara about Doug and Steph. Who's left for Audrina to tell? Perez Hilton? "It's just crazy that all this is happening while Lauren is gone," Audrina says. Either that, or it's in the script.

LC returns to find Audrina in the front house again. LC has coordinated blue wayfarers to match her tank top. LC does her best not to react to the news of Audrina hanging out with Heidi. Audrina tells LC about Doug and Steph. A cock crows. LC looks dismayed.

LC and Brody go to dinner. Brody reports that Doug claimed to be out at a business dinner on the night he took Steph out, and that he found out the truth from his mom. Brody gloats about being right about Steph being nefarious, grinding salt in LC's wound before saying "I just don't want to see you get hurt." Brody calls Steph "shady", recalling the time LC yelled at her ex-friend Jen Bunny for kissing LC's then-boyfriend Brody, "You did something shady." OK, I'm embarassed I just made that connection.

Meanwhile, in other Hills news, TMZ informed us that the newest additions to Wolfgang Puck's gallery of star photos (all taken by "warts and all" photographer Martin Scholler) at his restaurant CUT were none other than Heidi and Spencer. So one wall has Jack Nicholson and George Clooney and another wall has these two? I guess you'll know when you haven't been given a good table.

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