Sunday, February 11, 2007

2007 Grammy Awards Live Blog

ApeBlog contributors got together to liveblog during the grammys.

The Police reunite and sing "Roxanne."

Coolia: Sting looks amazing. It must be the tantric sex.

Nerdia: I wish they would have done another song, like something from Synchronicity.

C. Crumpet Swank: Who cares?

C. Crumpet Swank: Carrie Underwood looking as boring as ever..

Best pop vocal collaboration - Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennett

(general outrage)

C. Crumpet Swank: Think of how innovating the Shakira song is. Looks like Stevie has been having dinner at Aretha's.

Coolia: Mary J. and U2 should have won if voting was based on the number of plays on my ipod. tony Bennett becomes the first winner to ever thank Target.

Joan Baez introduces Dixie Chicks.

Nerdia: Sometimes I can't tell Joan Baez and Camille Paglia apart.

Coolia: The former Dixie Chunk looks svelte now.

C. Crumpet Swank: She looks kind of like Belinda Carlisle now, but that dress is horrible. It's like an 1984 prom dress.

Prince introduces Beyonce.

C. Crumpet Swank: She looks beautiful.

Black Eyed Peas pay tribute to Booker T. and the MGs.

Coolia: If Fergie had any more eye makeup on, she'd be Tammy Faye.

Best R&B Album - Mary J. Blige, The Breakthrough

C. Crumpet Swank: She said it was her first time accepting award...but she already has 3.

Coolia: She looks great.

Justin Timberlake performs "What Goes Around."

C. Crumpet Swank: I just don't see what the big fuss is about him.

Coolia: I can kinda see it. He's cute, he's got charisma. He's funny and self-depracating on SNL, and now it appears he can actually act...and play the piano. But this close-up camera isn't really working for me.

C. Crumpet Swank: It just draws attention to his worst physical feature - his nose.

Best R&B Vocal performance - Mary J. Blige "Be Without You"

C. Crumpet Swank: They play this ad nauseum, but I haven't gotten tired of it.

Stevie Wonder introduces Corrine Bailey Rae, John Mayer, and John Legend.

Coolia: Overjoyed...overwelmed...overweight. That is not a flattering print for him.

Nerdia: Corrine sounds like Norah Jones to me.

C. Crumpet Swank: John Legend has a really good song called "Save Room for My Love." He won best new artist last year.

C. Crumpet Swank: I'm underwelmed by this trio.

Coolia: Yeah, I just yawned.

C. Crumpet Swank: This ain't no Sheila E with glow in the dark drumsticks doing "The Glamorous Life", which, through the miracle of You Tube, I got to see again.

Coolia: Is that Natasha Bedingfield or Sally Kellerman

Best Pop Vocal Album - John Mayer "Continuum"

Shakira and Wyclef Jean perform "Hips Don't Lie"

Coolia: Shakira's voice is nails on the chalkboard to me. She's like Charo for the new generation.

Burt Bacharach and Seal pay tribute to Herb Alpert and Jerry Moss.

Coolia: Burt looks weird with that caesar hair.

Nerdia: He's so small next to Seal.

Pop Song of the Year - The Dixie Chicks "Not Ready to Make Nice"

Alyson Hanegan announces Gnarls Barkley.

C. Crumpet Swank: I hate when the networks trot out the stars from their TV shows to present awards when they have nothing to do with music.

Coolia: I love the pilot outfits.

C. Crumpet Swank: They're ruining the song with this arrangement. It hasn't gotten off the ground.

Coolia: They could never ruin this song.

Best Rap Album - Ludacris "Release Therapy"

Coolia: Ludacris just thanked Bill O'Reilly. Interesting.

Another plug for voting for the girl who gets to sing with Justin.

C. Crumpet Swank: Do you know how much time they are wasting on this? They can't turn the Grammys into American Idol.

Terence Howard introduces Mary J. Blige singing "Be Without You"

Coolia: I like the big orchestra treatment for this song.

Nerdia: That's great.

Coolia: Sounds like she's being slain in the spirit.

Nerdia: It was no "No More Drama" but still...pretty good.

C. Crumpet Swank: She's like a force of nature. She just blows everyone away.

Best Country Album - The Dixie Chicks "Taking the Long Way"

Reba McEntire introduces Carrie Underwood

Coolia: Her stage presence has improved since Idol.

Nerdia: She's still boring.

Coolia: I like Rascal Flatts, but I wish they were doing their own song instead of "Hotel California". This medley just goes on and on, but I have to admit I'm liking Carrie more than ever before.

Best New Artist - Carrie Underwood

Coolia: Imogen Heap looks like she's starring in A Midsummer Nights Dream.

Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci introduce Smokey Robinson

Coolia: He looks like he's had some work.

Chris Brown wakes everyone up with "Run It"

C. Crumpet Swank: He's only 15. He's the new Usher. Usher is over the hill at 25.

Christina Aguilera sings "It's a Man's World"

C. Crumpet Swank: She's got a great voice and she really knows how to use it. But it's theatrical. I never feel real emotion from her.

Rhianna and David Spade introduce Earth Wind and Fire with Ludacris and Mary J. Blige. Spade jokes that they are filling in for David Bowie an Iman who couldnt be there tonight.

C. Crumpet Swank: That was the best joke of the night.

Nerdia: I love pantsuits like Mary J.'s. It's very 70s polyester.

James Blunt performs "You're Beautiful."

Coolia: I wonder if he's as sick of this song as we are.

Jennifer Hudson declares the winner of Grammy Idol - Robin Troup.

Coolia: Poor Jennifer. That's not a very flattering dress.

C. Crumpet Swank: Her boobs look lopsided.

Record of the Year - The Dixie Chicks "Not Ready to Make Nice"

Group: groan

Coolia: This is turning into the country music awards.

Nerdia: I think the Grammys are trying to make a political statement. "Crazy" was much larger than this.

Chris Rock introduces Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Coolia: This is a pretty subdued performance from the Chilis.

Best Rock Album - Red Hot Chili Peppers "Stadium Arcadium"

Coolia: Yay! At least one award to get excited about.

Don Henley and Scarlett Johansson present Album of the Year.

C. Crumpet Swank: Don Henley's hair looks like Grandpa Munster.

Nerdia: He's so full of himself. Look at him, standing there, being full of himself.

Album of the Year - The Dixie Chicks "Taking the Long Way"

Group: sigh.

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